You and I have known each other for a couple of years and I told a mutual friend that I “liked you” a few months back.
You took the news as a green light to begin flirting with me when you saw me, and soon after, we slept together after a night of drinking.
Shortly after that you told our mutual friend what a great time you had and that you couldn’t wait to see me again. A week later you decided you didn’t want to pursue anything further. Then you came back, we hung out a few times more, got hammered drunk and I foolishly slept with you again.
I wanted to but knew it wasn’t the best for me, in the end I told myself that there was no harm in letting you use me if I was using you too. The problem is that stupid feelings get in the way and people end up getting hurt.
I’m not hurt, but thanks for reminding me that I deserve so much more than you’re offering, which is basically just sub-par drunk sex that leaves me feeling worse than before.
I’m sure you could say the same so let’s just forget this ever happened and go back to what we were—friends of a friend that hang out on occasion, strictly platonic, or nothing at all. —Naive One

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18 Comments

  1. Well at least I guess you learned something and lucky there was no bun in the oven. I will give you props for recognizing that your bedplay was probably no better than his.

  2. I actually wrote this bitch. I don’t have a dick but maybe I’ll have a word with my vagina.

  3. I thought this was a female. No man would regret “sub-par drunk sex”.

  4. There’s a support group for that, OB. It’s called Everybody, and they meet @ the bar.

  5. o.p., i presume you are a female here. i have an easy suggestion for you. if you want to get fucked call me, save the money on the booze, and then you will know how good a time you had, without passing out.
    or if you wish, we could go, get hammered, then i fuck your brains out, like it seems to be what you are after. to use the booze as an excuse. i’m calling you out on this one, give me and the rest of the group an answer. you only live once, might as well know what’s happening when you are pissed.

  6. naveed, that was you? now i want you more than ever, just really good sex, nothing else. i await your answer.

  7. “…let’s just forget this ever happened and go back to what we were…”
    good luck with that.

    btw, at no point did I expect this was a man lamenting about getting hammered poon… twice. Troodon speaks a modicum of truth…

  8. There *are* some men who would write a bitch like this.

    I dated one.

    Actually, according to him we weren’t dating — we were practically engaged. *shudder*

  9. PLATO’s THEORY OF FORMS

    “… so let’s just forget that this ever happened and go back to what we were – friends of a friend that hung out on occasion, strictly platonic, or nothing at all.” Naive One

    The sense one gets from this is that Naive One seems to suppose that being “platonic” is located at some midpoint between reality – something that actually happened, if in this case only in the past – and the absence of reality – “nothing at all.” Central to the issue, therefore, is Plato’s concept of reality. Of what, then, for Plato did reality consist?

    Plato’s concept of reality was, of course, embodied in his Theory of Forms. How, he asked, is multiplicity – the near infinite number of particulars in the universe – to be conceptualized? In the absence of some coherent and all-embracing theory, reality would amount to little more than a teeming welter of isolated particulars which woud amount to little more than chaos. If there is anything that philosophers abhor it is chaos since chaos entails incomprehensibility, the bane of the philosopher’s quest. How then did Plato solve the problem? He solved it by means of his Theory of Forms.

    Take the individual common chair. It is one of an uncounted multitude of chairs many of which assume distinct forms, but nonetheless are still identifiable as being chairs. But what is it by virtue of which we call it a “chair”? What, in other words, is its nature?

    For Plato, a chair is a chair because of its “chairness,” its identifying underlying Form which distinguishes it from, say, a table (which also has its unique Form). But where is this chairness to be found? What does it look like? One never enncounters such chairness on the street, for example, or for that matter anywhere else in the physical world. The reason we don’t is that for Plato the Form of the Chair (like all the other Forms) subsists at a higher order of reality. Indeed, the Forms themselves are more “real” than their “real-world” manifesttions which are little more than pale shadows of those Forms. To ask where the Form of the Chair exists would, therefore, commit a category mistake since it exists neither in time nor place. It is a transcendent and timeless “Universal”. As an indication of Plato’s influence on subsequent western culture some would say that the Forms exist in the the highest Form of all, the Mind of God.

    By way of establishing that “platonic” relationship with her friend, then, I think Naive One could do a lot worse than engaging him in a discussion of Plato’s Theory of Forms.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

  10. It wasn’t “stupid feelings” that got in the way ….. it was alcohol……… and FYI, the other person is not giving you another thought and already has forgot about it …. but the next time your group goes out drinking the person knows you are a sure bet and an easy lay.

    As for using protection and being responsible about safe sex behaviour …… both went out the window when you opened the bottle and then opened your legs.

    A grade 5 student could explain this to you further if you do not fully understand.

  11. If this were a dude, the most this should illicit is a less enthusiastic high five to your bra.

  12. I’m sorry for the sub-par drunk sex. I’ve been under some stress lately.

  13. Live and learn Naveed.

    I basically have 3 rules. No sex on a first date, no sex with someone who has a signifigant other, no sex with a drunk.

    The rest can be negotiated 🙂

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