Aw, co-worker, I don’t know how to say this—we don’t avoid you because we dislike you, but you are kind of gross. You can be heard eating from the next room, and you eat everything with your hands (tuna?! chicken salad?! Arrgh your hands are covered in saliva!), and your hygiene is atrocious. I feel like I need a hazmat suit to be around you. You’re so concerned with making friends but can’t seem to grasp that people flee when you start mowing into something or touching things with your spit-hands. You are unfortunately every one of my pet peeves and I just want to avoid you because I get queasy. You’re not a bad person or anything, but clean the fuck up. —Bubble Boy
This article appears in May 24-30, 2012.
How else do you eat a tuna or chicken salad sandwich…with a knife & fork? Statistically half the people in the office you’re shaking hands with just took a dump and didn’t wash their hands, another 50 percent rubbed one out recently without washing. So a little saliva should be the least of your worries.
while I completely doubt those statistics…
even one shitting and not washing is more than enough.
ug…
i dont believe they mentioned anything about a sandwich…….. just eating tuna and chicken salad by itself. yeah thats weird.
Yeah I pictured someone eating tuna out of the can with their hands and stuffing handfuls of lettuce in their mouth.
http://i.tfster.com/cache/icanhascheezburg…
sorry it’s kinda long http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xeof5l_mr…
Uh. Tell them, not us? Just hold a goddamned intervention or something.
okay o.p., how do YOU eat a fucking sammich then? in your dainty little talon, or do you suck someone into feeding you. you would be surprised to hear this, but the coast is very,VERY, widely read now, moreso for the bitch board, than the other contents, online and in hard copy. i see people with the coasts in their hands all the time. and we, the fuckers of the bitch boards, are the ones that make the online readership go up.
they wait to see who we are gonna rip on next. and today o.p., it is YOU.
no_fool, i love your dirty mind, let’s get naked sometime.
I agree Swamp, why tell us, tell your co-worker it’ll do more good.
What, he never washes his hands? He must lick his fingers after taking a bite of the sandwich. Offer him some lemon-scented wipes to clean his fingers with if your worried about saliva or be like Madge and get some Palmolive for him to soak his hands in.
Dainty little talon… that’s like poetry suckster.
Kinda erotic.
Still waiting on your blood work results & atm receipt. Send em to my inbox and we can get this shit crackin
I have bad news for you guys, but it’s not a sandwich. Sandwiches are totally understandable hands-on food. I meant full on canned tuna.