Do I have to go all over this again? After a year of begging the upstairs guy to stop spitting off his balcony, and having to involve the landlord with no results, a new tenant moves in. And guess what… ***HORRRrrrKKK*** yeah. I love my balcony and how it overlooks the quaint gardens of the house next door. I love listening to the birds while I sit out and read in the shade… but upstairs balcony guy. Why? You are spitting directly in front of the back entrance and people walk through your thick nasty when they arrive home from work. I sit out and listen to your horking and spitting and once in a while oh yes…I get fallout…Have some respect for your neighbours asshole. —S. Soaker
This article appears in May 17-23, 2012.
Perhaps he’s a NSCAD student, studying the Olde Phlegmish Masters, like Moucous van Spytte and Hoerk ter Oyster.
I find shaming offending neighbours for all to see works well – like write a passive aggressive note. I had to do this once because someone on my floor was leaving a ton of garbage bags in the fucking hallway for someone else to take outside. It was disgusting, smelled and attracted mice! They would leave it near my door also. People would leave ‘nice’ notes on it, but that didn’t do anything. So I wrote one in big bold letters, calling them a “rat-loving scumbag” and it seemed to work for the most part.
OP, I suggest putting up a note on the door of this back entrance where the dude is spitting, saying something like “The gentleman in apt 709 likes to spit off his balcony, proceed with caution”. At least everyone in the building will hate him.
“Have some respect for your neighbours asshole”
Proper punctuation prevents perilous propositions.
*phlegmish masters* ftw
HA HA ivan… good catch.
I’ll respect it by staying away from it.
OP, you seem to already have a plan… get a super soaker and drench the bastard when he goes to hork one out the window.
That is rather nasty… these phlem hoarkers need to get a jar to use as a spitoon
This bitch should have been titled “Great Expectorations”.
Offer to trade apartments with the hocker.
Two thumbs up for Zed’s super soaker idea.
here’s an idea o.p., get an old plastic bucket, half fill it with some kind of gross shit, like the color of spit. take it out at dark, wait til next day, and casually say to them the next honker they toss off, “hey, your bucket is almost full, when you gonna empty it”. that might solve the problem, by being belittled.
there are very few confrontations that can’t be heavily swayed with a super soaker…
Ivan.. There’s no apostrophe. Even without the comma, there’s no chance of a mistake without it.
Never say never >; )
OP. I can’t stand “Horking” either. But I can put up with burping and farting. My wife does the burping.
“Have some respect for your neighbours asshole”
I would suggest putting some clothes on and stop bending over, then you won’t get any spit in your asshole…KY is better anyway!
This is pretty disgusting.