One month is the shortest relationship I’ve ever had, and it was still a complete waste of my time. BEFORE you asked me out, you were kinda sweet. Haha. I think I’m going to piss myself laughing. —Red Heads are Wild, But Not For You

This article appears in May 17-23, 2012.

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46 Comments

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  5. Teen love? I’m 29 and women I’m friends with still do that shit.

    Meet a guy, hype him up, relationship fails after a month, bitch about him for a few days, then find a new guy.

    Luckily I have the amazing ability to stare someone right in the eyes and pretend to listen while I day dream about things that are more interesting. It’s probably the only reason I can maintain friendships with women like that.

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  6. well, now c’mon, you are a lizard. that’s a tough dating scene^^

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  7. Well then, looks like someone needs to learn to go ass to mouth.

    PS; happy birthday PG!!

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  9. One month…. relationship ?!?

    THere should be something set out for a certain amount of time has to pass to call it a relaionship OB…& IMO 1 month is just a wee short !

    Painy …is it really your Birthday !
    I wrote this poem few years ago…
    I hope you like it.

    A Birthday Wish

    May your ales be chilled
    Let your presents be many
    Hope the candles go out, your first try
    And the person you dream of, be wanton & willing
    I wish you a hundred more years,’til you die.

    Happy Birthday Paingirl

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  10. Maybe it took a month before the first hookup …then he smelled your fishy pussy and kept swimmin’.

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  12. AHHH! Happy birthday, Bread Lady! <3

    You know, there *are* guys out there who just don’t know HOW to be in a relationship. (yes, tommy, I know there are women too blahblah)

    It’s really frustrating too because you really like them and they like you, they just don’t know what to do about it. Mel knows what I’m talking about! 😛

    And no, I didn’t write this bitch! 😉

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  16. Blah, blah, blah… Let the man hating begin. Yup, we’re all assholes just trying to tear off a strip. Do you future lesbians even hear your own drivel.

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  17. well…i don’t listen to girls with these stories because what’s the main factor in every story?? the woman. I mean they had to have done something wrong if it all fails haha

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  18. Gotta love no_fool, she gets right to the point.

    Sounds like the ginger won this battle OP.

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  19. hey red, let the old suckster show you hopw to be really, really fucking wild. will take to heights you never imagined.

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  24. Ivan – your buddy Sean Bean has been arrested in London for harassing his 4th wife, says he’s given up on marriage and prefers gardening. Perhaps he’s got something going on with a garden gnome?

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  25. Yeah, he’s Jack-the-Lad when it comes to the ladies. He should stick to his pints, his footy and the occasional Page 3 bint.

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  28. Godzilla mask will be delivered in a few weeks. Once I get it, I will finally be able to attend a LTWWB circle jerk of friendship gathering.

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  29. “I don’t have any problems with women seeing me as their ideal bit of ‘rough’. Why would I?”

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  30. Excellent, ‘zil. We’ll prepare a heated rock for you to bask upon and a selection of 1/72 scale J.G.S.D.F. tanks as an amuse bouche.

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  31. Ivan – Bean is a fellow Tyke (Yorkshireman) and the old rhyme is true;

    Yorkshire born, Yorkshire bred
    Strong in the arm, weak in the head.

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  33. No_fool….some of us think ahead ,

    We know our balls fill up again very quickly, so its much better to keep her happy…which translates to not just more ball draining. But more intimate & fulfilling sexcapades.

    Without all the effort of finding another …. testicle assistant, who ‘possibly’ could be better in the sack . Or could be someone who won’t even entertain the idea of oral, & lifes too short to waste any of it with someone like that.

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  34. Happy belated PG! Hope you’re feeling better.

    A month doesn’t constitute a relationship in my eyes, that’s either a guy who had no intention of sticking around long term or maybe he didn’t really feel it would work with you. Either way fuck it. You’ll be alright OP

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  36. I agree, thomas.

    I get leery of people who want to declare their love/relationship status after a month.

    It’s a month. A MONTH.

    Frig. Even 3-4-5 months isn’t…. relationship-worthy.

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  37. FB needs to add the category c***struck or C***sucker to it’s status bar, or maybe – just fucking, nothing to see, move along.

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  39. 5 months wouldn’t be a relationship?!?! I seriously have to wait six months to stop putting out? FUCK THAT.

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  40. “The morbidly obese Arizona mother who is hoping to set a world record for being the fattest human…”

    jesus…
    what has been seen….

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  41. Angry – the Brits are going to hell real quick, the Police were told they can no longer use the word BLACKLISTED as it’s offensive, the word FAT is not to be used, what the fuck is wrong with the PC arselickers?

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  42. I dunno about 5-6 months, I think 2 or 3, but it depends on a lot of things. Sometimes you know right away, sometimes it takes a little while, and other times you know but you don’t want to rush into it for fear of scaring people away or making a big emotional investment.

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  44. Victor – thanks for the ditty on Yorkshiremen – my first hub-unit (from Huddersfield) fit the description perfectly. Eeeee, by gum!

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  45. “Ah wunt to go ta ‘Uddersfield!”
    -Waddie, from Scottish punks The Exploited on their “Punks Not Dead” album

    …quoth the jazz musician
    Wp

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