Stop touching me. I’m not “weird” for not wanting your nasty hands all over me. I’m not “a bitch” for telling you to go fuck yourself when you got drunk and slapped my ass last week and I’m not “a tease” because when you decided to corner me and kiss me on the weekend I pushed your creepy ass away. I HAVE MADE THIS ABUNDANTLY CLEAR ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS, PREDATOR. You are my roommate and that is the MOST we will ever, EVER be. I don’t care how drunk you are or entitled you feel or lonely you may be, this shit stops. NOW.
Let me lay this on the table in case your ego is still not hearing me. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU. The thought of kissing you makes me want to puke. I’d rather sleep with my fat cousin than with you. I am completely, and without question or exception, 100% NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU or any component part of you. The mere consideration that you might be a sexual being makes me want to set myself on fire.
Is that clearer?
So that’s it. If you EVER touch me again I will slap you with a sexual harassment suit so tangled your great-grandkids will be on the abuse-registry. It’s not cute. It’s not okay and it is absolutely against the law.
Hear me this time, asshat? Oh yeah. And here’s your two week’s notice you fucking pig. I’m moving out. P.S. I now have the first cold sore of my life because of your dirty-ass kiss. Get that shit cleaned up and stay the hell away from me. —Soon To Be Ex-Roommate
This article appears in Mar 15-21, 2012.
If I were you, I wouldn’t stay another day with this sick pig. He has already given you Herpes, what next? Get out.
Did your Doctor confirm this cold-sore? Hmmmm, I’d be at the clinic ASAP …. what you chicklets think is a “cold-sore” is a helluvalot more serious than that……..
If the creep was drunk on every multiple occaisions that you made it abundantly clear and or only does this while intoxicated then the creep may not remember your disdain. People tend to remember things better when they are sober.
I think there is a Frank Zappa song about a toilet seat that applies here…
Sounds like she is just playing hard to get.
I soooo knew it was a baaaad idea for Tommy and Zilla to be roomies. I told you so, but nobody listened. Be it on your own spirochete laden heads.
Ohhh give him another chance OP. he’s just gone back to work, he’s probably pulling shitty shifts and , let’s be honest, 4 Grand buys a hulluva lot of Blistex >; )
This is such an invalid bitch. SORRY you are so stuck up that you refuse to have sexual relations with your room mate. I mean part of the reason to have a room mate is to sleep with them. Stuck up bitch!
It’s good room mate etiquette to give into the sexual desires of your room mate. It’s just rude to deny that shit. I feel bad for him….he made a really bad choice choosing the OB for a room mate.
Two weeks notice? get the hell out now, this could go really bad, if he’s that much of a creep he could get worse and you may get the brunt.
Fuck I’d be pissed if someone gave me a cold sore (against my will at that!). Put a padlock on your bedroom door until moving day and you should also leave behind some shrimp tails lovingly stuffed inside the curtain rods, when you go.
…or frozen sardines left on the hot water pipes moving day.
You moved in with asshat why again?
I always found that a few strips of bacon, cleverly taped to the underside of someone’s couch, box spring or, (if they have a car), driver’s seat, (especially in the heat of summer), has the desired effect.
I like the curtain rod thingy though…hard to find that one.
I hate to act all MM and be so philosophical but I want to pose this question: Could this be classified as an assault? I mean, he muckled on to her against her will and stuck his tongue in her mouth. Forget a simple cole sore, there’s hepatitis which is a life-long thing, there’s all the oral-ghonorreas and stuff. Hollywood portrays women as damsels who want to be shoved up against a wall and just taken. But is this acceptable in real life? Is a kiss just a kiss?
Gross.. wtf is wrong with some people.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EHsbIcV-6I
Here’s another good one:
Save up some cat food juice, tuna juice, mussels whatever fish juice you got. Keep it in a mason jar as you collect it. When you get it about half full, it should have fermented and doubled its power. Then you pour it under their wiper blades of his car (on the passenger side cuz that’s where the heater is). Fuck up his ride real good.
something tells me a nice knee to the groin while he was sucking on your face would have laid all this out pretty bluntly.
I don’t usually side with tagging someone but then again, I don’t usually behave in a bag-tag-worthy manner to deserve it.
and that second plan is especially bad… just as long as no kitties get hurt in the process
http://www.poweredbytofu.com/wp-content/up…
no zed, you are definitely not “bag-tag-worthy*
Yeah, blows to the groin are sometimes a necessary last resort. Doesn’t have to be really hard to get the point across.
I would advise against messing with someone’s vehicle as well, but leaving rotten fish or meat around the house is always something I’ve found to be an awesome idea, never had to do it myself.
Lesson learned is you should not move in with just anyone. Sounds like you didn’t know this guy very well. Good thing he’s just a perv and not a murderer.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/romanticc…
ok maybe it’s just me… but you put this in terms that can be read completely wrong…
“Yeah, blows to the groin are sometimes a necessary last resort. Doesn’t have to be really hard to get the point across.”
I’m thinking gold digger not getting her way with the old geezer hubby…???
I would call it an assault, the slapping of the ass also constitutes assault. Women DO like to be man handled a bit, in my experience, but not by just anyone and not under any old circumstances.
lol Zed you always look for dirty meanings in my comments. And by look for I mean find. They just go over everyone else’s head.
http://s2.favim.com/orig/37/dirty-mind-fun…
Yeah OP beat it out of there ASAP. This guy has no concept of boundaries and you could end up getting assaulted.
“Good thing he’s just a perv and not a murderer.” Always looking for the silver lining TJ, I like that.
but yet you kissed him? hmmmm, something tells me the fucking golers are back in town. either that, or he was just not a good fuck. but know what o.p., i feel sorry for you. you are another fine example of why humans should never reproduce.
IMO, a forced kiss IS sexual assault.
File a report OB, even if you don’t press charges.
Have you moved out yet? The sooner the safer, for you.
Good Luck.