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Why, oh why, must you occupy me now? It’s mistletoe time and I am now forced to abstain. It was not you that I wanted to make me tingle. Now, my Christmas wish that you retreat quickly in hopes that I may experience that soft, sweet joy when the clock strikes 12. —Forced into Temporary Exile
This article appears in Dec 15-21, 2011.
27 Comments
facial herpes?
if you’re on the rag, just fucking say it.
Cold sore?
http://viz.cwrl.utexas.edu/files/Marc%20an…
..maybe a new years resolution could be to ..stfu bout your cycle
Sounds like a cold sore.
That sucks, OB. Cold sores are ugly as hell.
could just be a canker …
better than sticking a razor in your mouth.
Why so serious?
Cankers aren’t contagious, though, and would not impede kissing!
Helpful hint: metal pop cans can cause those little fuckers to pop up, but the good news is, sticking some alum on them before bed’ll clear ’em right up.
don’t they sting???
whatever….
I’m sticking with my original answer then.
Cankers do sting. They hurt like mofos and the second I drink out of a can I get some (not one, SOME). 🙁
I *think* the ‘tingle’ is more cold sore-related — I saw an ad once for abreva and it said something about “you feel that tingle and you know a cold sore is about to come!” or some such shit.
A baby?
i’m thinking some type of crotch rot
I think Cold sore, but you have over a week until new years. I like these little play on words and figure it out posts. 🙂 I don’t think I am very good at them but I like them. 🙂
Some of the theories are amusing … but Mod Bird, Z3, PK and Robyn got it. Lip herp … it’s ugly; it tingles first, then hurts; and is contagious. PK … doesn’t happen for me after drinking out of a can … happens when my lips get chapped (too much to and fro of late between cold rinks and blasting heat in the car) and I’m not diligent with the lip balm.
i should have connected the dots , new years=smooching
Meh … the worst is that it hurts and it’s ugly. The smooching references were just a clue … no actual worries about transmission … no one in my life at the moment to regift it to. 🙂
Work around it, you can still have fun.
Wear a fake mustache! No, that might not work either.
A work around would be possible, yes … but not necessary since I’d need a gentleman friend to work with and don’t have one of those at the moment. And I don’t think the fake ‘stache would work well with my girly parts. 🙂
Isn’t Mono the kissing disease?
FS … I think you’re right … mono is the one that usually gets tagged with that label.
that’s all right presevere, i won’t tell if you don’t.
Awww … thanks Suckster … it’s our little secret. 😉
Nah, I think it’s a yeast infection! She’s forced to abstain from sex. Get it?
IT’S HERPES… on her CROTCH… abstain from sex so she doesn’t give some guy the fucking HERPES, ya’ fucking dummies…
For anyone that didn’t get it from the earlier comments … I wrote the bitch. It’s just a cold sore folks … not herpes of the crotch, not a yeast infection, not crotch rot, not a baby and not my period. And it does require that I abstain from kissing – like under the mistletoe and at midnight on New Years – until it’s cleared up.
But … your analysis and subsequent conclusions are still amusing.
yeeees…. WE’RE the dummies….
okaaaaay.
http://www.izismile.com/img/img3/20100908/…
i think some folks don’t read the comments but you told us that at comment 13^^STAY ALERT CITIZENS