I wish I had balls to say what I think, feel, want, am sick of and fucking hate!!!!
— No balls ’cause I’m a girl, but I still wish I had a set…
This article appears in Jun 18-24, 2009.
Balls
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Trust me, you’re better off without them. They’re so uncomfortable!
Nothing worse than sitting on them – not so much in a immediatly painful way but by the time you go to get up you realize that they were slightly being sat on and now it feels like someone is driving a dagger in you and slowly twisting.
yeah bag and balls are a constant source of discomfort, always sticking to legs, or getting squeezed in jeans, always getting twisted in weird ways, occasionally getting a bit numb or dull throbbing. i’d choose tits any day.
That just made me gag a little.
You don’t want balls unless it’s the high society kind. If this just made you think of AC/DC, you’re my kind of people.
You may not have balls but you do have a backbone so start using it. Stand up and say what you want feel and fucking hate. Stop using the excuse your a girl.
You do have balls.
They’re just safe and tucked away because they don’t mind 37°C.
EWwww re: “sticking to legs”… lol I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or throw up
Stop playing victim already!
“Stop bustin my balls!” that saying always makes me laugh!!!
Balls are gross actually so don’t wish for balls.(ball cheese, etc.) I am sorry but I had to say it because the first time I heard that term it made me want to throw up and of course passing it on only seems right.
Enjoy.
Cheep up, that’s what this space is for. Oh and PDG “but when they’re held for pleasure they’re the balls that I love best…”
As I said, everyone has balls. Some just like it outside where it’s cooler.
…but to “say what [you] think, feel, want, am sick of and fucking hate”, all you need is the internets and LTWWB. 🙂
Holy fuck, why do you need a hairy bag to say what you want? Females like you really piss me off – your wimpy whine makes me want to hit you with a raw mackerel then feed you to a herd of free range lobsters.
TTFN, you took the words right out of my mouth (well, sorta). Good on ya!
Shit, back in the 70s, I broke through the fucking glass ceiling with a steel-toed boot. Back then, men still slapped women on the ass in the workplace. One guy did that to me and I plowed him into a wall, then got his ass fired. My balls might have been imaginary but they had to be hauled around in a wheelbarrow back then. Now I just carry them in my back pocket but they spill down my leg.
Oh jesus, TTFN, I’m quoting this one and saving it for a cruddy day when my creepy manager gets on my back again. What a fucking gem.
It’s my belief that my big balls should be held every night!
About balls, I own a pair, they’re quite comfy. I’ve had them my whole life. When it’s humid, yeah they stick to the legs. Will I ever get rid of them, not on your fucking life. TTFN, you make me laugh so hard, it makes my balls TURTLE.
Yeah, balls are not all they’re cracked up to be. Don’t get me wrong, I love my balls, but god damn they can be annoying sometimes! Now the ability to pee standing up on the other hand, that is just plain awesome!!
poppinhs a squat sucks 🙁
The common complaint I hear among men my age is that when they take their pants off at night, their balls flop down and suction themselves to the floor. These poor men have to keep a spatula in their back pockets at all times.
I think Tchaikovsky must have been hoofed in the goolies to make the NUTCRACKER – translation; hoofed = kicked and goolies = balls
Heh. I look at it this way; if they have the nerve to say or do something to you that upsets you, it automatically gives you an invitation to go back at them. You don’t need a set of balls to do that.
Hey Doc, big potatoes make the meat look small.
If they stick, use talc.
I’m lucky that mine never descended… they’re up there somewhere.. LOL I DARE anyone to find them… 🙂
Don’t know about that Miles… sometimes you get the full meal!
I prefer to call mine the shape-shifter… more exotic, haha… BALLS!
I’d like to apoligize for that… It was unecessary…
It’s okay Logic.