I have this opportunity and as usual am screwing it up with my laziness, stupidity and of course my “usual” excuse. since when a depression patient can use his condition as a reason for his endless failures? I just hate myself, the situation and cannot see a way out.
I cannot stop thinking of why its me? why i dont have a normal life like any other dude?
—pathetic
This article appears in May 7-13, 2009.
Your sentence structure is depressing me.
Take your meds and suck it up.
Sit in the sun for 13 hours, then tell us how you feel.
Everyone has these self pity issues to some extent my friend. The clinically depressed always use the condition as an excuse and explanation for failures, that’s about the only thing it’s good for! Life can get real shitty. Don’t wallow in it, it stinks! You want it to be perfect, but it gets screwed up repeatedly. You can be your worst enemy by expecting too much of yourself. By the way, nobody has a “normal” life, it just looks like they do from the outside.
Try these simple starters:
1/ Set yourself smaller goals and be successful with them. Repeat the small goals and slowly increase expectations. Be happy with small achievements. You can build up to bigger opportunities later.
2/ Try not to focus on yourself too much. I remind myself how lucky I am to be in Canada, in Nova Scotia. How would you like being a Somalian right now? You know, count your blessings not your problems.
3/ Try helping someone else with some little thing. It’s hard coming up with a good deed for someone but if your looking out for it, they present themselves. It really feels good to help others, it ends up helping you. It makes you feel better and forget your own miserable self.
That’s all it takes to start climbing out of the place your in.
When you find your slipping back into that dark gloomy place, remember this very old song from the depression:
There’s a dark and troubled side of life,
There’s a bright and sunny side too,
Tho we meet with the darkness and strife,
The sunny side we also may view.
Keep on the sunny side,
Always on the sunny side,
Keep on the sunny side of life.
It will help us every day,
It will brighten all the way,
If we keep on the sunny side of life!
(song over)
It’s hard, but you gotta do it.
You think about your self to much. Its not your fault, but a good way to change it is to go do some meaningfull volunteer work. you will find that you will sto thinking of you and start thinking of others alot more. I promise you, you will have a new out look on life.
here are a few suggestions of where to begin.
feed novascotia
dress for succsess
GVN (global volunteer network) ~ volunteering in africa,asia,central america… etc.
a soup kitchen (try a church or mission)
habitat for humanity
I know people like this and they do have it all they are just to pig headed to see it.
Suck it up and stop being lazy and do something about it!
p.s frankly i am sick and tired of people using depression as an excuse, YOU have to change the way YOU think!
“life is hard YOU have to change”
Your life is probably alot more normal than you think it is. Most of us go though periods of time where we see life as being hell. There have been times where I have felt like a complete and utter fuck-up that the universe hated, but I’ve learned that I’m not so special in this way, and it gives me huge comfort to realize that. You have to do something about the way you feel though, or it wont go away- you’re life will just feel more and more stagnant if you wallow. Rafiki’s suggestions might sound corny at first, but he’s right- travel/ volunteer is the best way to get you outside yourself. You’ll make a difference to other people’s lives while at the same time experiencing a huge sense of adventure and
accomplishment.
Eat a banana. Have you ever seen someone eat a banana and not look happy?
Have you ever seen anyone eat a banana and not look awkward?
I’d go with awkward
Sorry, but no one outside of TV land gets a “normal” life. I cannot imagine to know your circumstances, as I do not know anything about you, nor do I wish to offer advice, as I am not a health care professional.
I do however concur with Rifiki. Odd as it may sound to you at this juncture in your life, helping others less fortunate than yourself…and oh yes, if you have access to a computer, food, clean water and shelter, have no fear of cholera, malaria or starvation, then you are better off than most on this planet. If there is not much chance of someone kicking your door down at 3 AM, and dragging you to a slave auction, or stealing your children to become soldiers, then you are ahead of the game. I understand clinical depression is a very serious and dibilitating issue. It irks me to see comments that are less than supportive, but alas, you came to the wrong kitchen party. There are many online support forums out there, and if you are not sure where to find them, please, pick up the phone, call a doctor or a friend, and ask for direction…ok. I lied, that was advice… This really is not the venue.
I’ve suffered from depression since I was a teen – go on some fucking meds for Christ’s Sake, there’s no excuse for continuing to feel this way. A nice 150mg of Effexor should fix you up fine and dandy. No one says you have to be on them forever. The only meds I do now are completely lightable but for a long time I had to depend on pills to get me out of that black pit of emotional hell. GET TO YOUR DOC OR SHRINK BEFORE YOU GET WORSE.
I understand your situation. My only advice is to stop being so hard on yourself. No one is “normal,” but you’re not like other (healthy) people, and listening to those who just say you just need to pull up your bootstraps is unhelpful…since the reason you are different means that things will be harder for you. If you weren’t different, you wouldn’t be a failure. Be gentle with yourself and congratulate yourself on whatever small advances you do make.
If we know WHY we feel the way we do we have half a chance of mitigating our circumstances. Is it possible your depression is cyclical and what is going on your life that corresponds with that cycle? You may wish to keep a journal so you can review many cycles and then try to identify why this is happening. People don’t often correlate actions and feelings that are seemingly unrelated because some time has passed between the action and resulting emotion. For example, how many of us relate our crap mood on Wednesday to all the drinking (depressants) we did the Saturday before? For example, how many bitches realize they’re PMSing? They don’t until after their period comes. A journal will help dissolve the mystery. Knowing the path (I got PMS) and walking the path (what the fuck do you want me to do about it) are two different things but you don’t get to pick your own path until you know you’re on it. (I hope that made sense.)
There’s also this strange phenomenon the bitches are talking about… when you spend, you gain. For example, if you’re really tired but force yourself to work out anyway, in the end you have more energy than what you started with. The math doesn’t seem to add up but it works and is consistent with the go-volunteer-yourself advice.
Taking bites that you can actually swallow and measure as small successes can kick-start a consistently happy life like these bitches say. Go easy on yourself but also realize, “when your inner child is whining, SPANK it. Hard.”
I agree with most here. No one is normal. Normal is a relative term. What I consider normal would be weird to someone else. What I consider weird would be normal to someone else. Smee said it best “everyone has self pity issues”. We all feel down on ourselves sometimes. Don’t let it beat you down. Find something you love and hold on to it. Life’s a rollercoaster, you gotta learn to enjoy the ups and downs or you’ll never get anywhere. Words I live my life by:
“Do not let regret for the past or fear of the future be the twin thieves that rob us of today” – Joan Hill.
Smee – Lots of really great suggestions!
TTFN – Meds are good, when the right dose and the right person – I come from a family with lots of depression and when I went on meds – I went a little strange – but talking to a shrink was the best thing in the world for me….I’m now one of the most positive and happy people I know (but it takes a lot of work – and having a 2 year old son helps – it’s hard to be unhappy with a child who thinks he’s the ultimate comedian just by passing gas)
The Banana thing is actually a good suggestion – ok read this I found online:
Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst
people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a
banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein
that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve
your mood and generally make you feel happier.
Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. -Jose Addison
Just wanted to mention the fact that when someone’s clinically depressed, it’s not the same as “feeling down sometimes.” To suggest that is kind of disrespectful. It’s a chemical imbalance in the brain. You wouldn’t say to someone with asthma, “hey, we all get a little out of breath sometimes.” If someone who was clinically depressed was able to feel better by simply taking a walk in the park and smelling the flowers, then they wouldn’t be clinically depressed and it wouldn’t be an issue.
Good point Rat but also realize we are what we eat so, again, I encourage the keeping of a journal along with a real desire to discover why. You know what hypochondria is, right? If we can think ourselves sick we can think ourselves well especially when we avoid depressive and mind-altering drugs in addition to augmenting our lives with huge supplies of bananas (which also supposedly has aromatherapy qualities that tickle male libido).
Yeah I agree with Mole Rat. Depression is a chemical imbalance and sometimes you feel down and don’t have an idea why.They need to be on some sort of medication to balance things out. My only problem is when people with depression try to bring everyone else around them down with them and try to get pitty from people. When it gets to that point, I don’t feel bad for them anymore.
Misery loves company… ask any bitch here LOL
Bananas, you say.
I agree that it’s possible that illnesses are self-created…we know so little about what causes so many disorders…but at the same time, people make statements about mental illness that they would never make about someone with a visible, physical condition.
….unless it’s obesity related 😛
Psssh, the people who do that have low energy and are trying to steal it from others…there’s a value to commiseration but not when it’s your sole basis for interaction. I try to avoid those people.
Exactly! they will suck your blood!
um..psssh I think you need to check your facts. The clinicaly depressed are not out to bum you out, or wreck your day. Quite the opposite is true. They put on false “happy” fronts in public to avoid such a stigma. When they are alone, they are buiried in the depths of their misery. They are well aware, that if they grumble and whine, they will be alone in private and public.
We all have met the people you are refering to…chronic whiners, who did definitely not get enough mommy love or daddy smacks, or whatever when they were kids….”I wanna find yer inner child and kick it’s little ass…get over it..get over it!” *guitar solo*
That’s true brick. Someone I know who’s clinically depressed is one of the happiest people I know, in public…giddy, even. Privately it’s much different.
I think the type of person Pssh refers to can come from any walk of life, they don’t have to actually be clinically depressed.
I agree with flyingbrick completely. For example, people less likely to commit suicide are the ones that talk about it. They are probably truely upset and sad, but, although sometimes subconsciously, they are looking for attention. The ones that are truly “depressed” or “suicidal” tend to hide it, and are really good at acting happy. Drugs are getting prescribed way to easily, and as a result, the meaning of true depression is far too often misunderstood.
I completely agree with Mole Rat on this. Being clinically depressed is an actual medical condition. You can’t just “snap out of it”…same with anxiety disorders. Most people with clinical depression and anxiety disorders have nothing to be anxious or depressed about, but they are anyway and just telling them to “stop it” is the stupidest advice on the planet.
And it’s true: A LOT of people who are clinically depressed and have anxiety disorders tend to hide it well. There are quite a few people out there who DO want attention and mope around and go on about how sad they are, etc…. I know a few people with clinical depression and anxiety disorders and they don’t flash that shit around. Typically people with mental illnesses tend to keep that shit to themselves. Others could very well be using it to get attention…some might be trying to reach out for help though. It’s often hard to say.
On that note, OP, sounds like you need a referral to a psychiatrist. If you are clinically depressed and have a chemical imbalance you needs meds to treat it. It’s a process finding a med that works for you, but it’s worth it in the end. I mean, SSRIs/SDRIs/SNRIs get a bad rep these days because everyone and their dog is on them (doctors give them out like candy and not everyone NEEDS or SHOULD be on them), but look at it this way: no one says SHIT to me for having to take insulin and it’s a medical condition just the same as clinical depression.
Flyingbrick, I never said that all depressed people were like that, but some are. Depressed people that are, I can’t stand. The ones always looking for attention, always bitching about something, everything is about them booo hooo. Those are who I am refering to.
Say kay…..yooooo……Who’s a bitch??
——————Yoo no lookin’ at Smee!
look at that. another cow. great.