To my brother who I still have the misfortune of living with. Why are you such a douche? Why don’t you pull your weight around the house while our parents are gone? Why don’t you trying vacuuming? Why don’t you try doing anything at all? Why don’t you try cleaning up your dishes so that they do not rot in the sink for days on end until I clean it up because I am so sick of looking at a heaping pile of dirty/stinky dishes? Why don’t you feed the dog like you said you would? The only thing you can do right it seems is be an overall shitty person.
—no wonder you didn’t get into the RCMP 🙂 you are failing at life
This article appears in Apr 23-29, 2009.
‘Douche’ usually works as an insult, but when you’re complaining about someone not cleaning…
and your brother…
If you haven’t already, I suggest talking to him about it instead of rambling on a bitch board. Stick it out for a few more years and then you have the option of never dealing with him again…although I don’t advise that. Perhaps he’s going though a phase right now and he’s stuck in a rut.
Personally, putting someone down is the wrong thing to do if you want them to improve their personality. I suggest building them up to empower themselves and then maybe they’ll get somewhere. A person’s mind is a labyrinth of mystery.
While I would normally agree with your sentiment, Dino, having had both my brother and brother-in-law live with us for extended periods of time, sometimes they just need a swift kick in the ass,
Boooooriiiiing.
Your brother doesn’t clean up, so he’s a failure at life? You’re a failure at writing interesting things on a public internet forum, which is much, much, much, much worse. Shame on you.
Ouch. Hopefully he doesn’t read the coast, cause you’ll be out a brother.
I think everyone missed my point.
1. One of the OP’s gripes is that his or her brother doesn’t clean.
2. A douche does clean.
So…mismatch. 🙂
Dogma, if you have to explain a joke or shot… it’s not funny enough. yes it’s true… so ok, thanks for that.
anyhooooooooo….
sounds like a lazy slob. Does he live like this normally? Parents clean up all the time? he does no chores?
If you said yes to any one of them then I’m not surprised and you shouldn’t be either. Put the stinky dishes in his bed… that’ll learn him. He should at least be rinsing them off so they can be washed more easily later… god!
If I had said “missed my joke”, then your comment would have made sense. …but I didn’t…so it doesn’t.
I was actually pointing out why something that is usually funny to me was not this time. It was a point before it was a joke, though yes, I thought some people might find it funny…so OK, thanks for that.
By the way, yes, 1fallingangels1, I’m thinking the other thing that took some of the funny out of ‘douche’ and other insults was the fact that the bitch was about the OP’s own brother.
okay, okay…
I thought it was a snicker-worthy comment at first so assuming it was meant to be amusing.
don’t flip your toast over it….
I thought your joke was very clever Dogma and I would have said so earlier, but I only post on this board when I’m “working” so I didn’t see it until now.
LOL to you sir!
I also think the Onion’s right about this being a pretty “gay” bitch.
Ahhhhh siblings. They typically thrive on the things they know you hate. Don’t worry. My brother did nothing but drive me nuts growing up, but we’re actually quite close now.
omg laughing my ass off once again at no dogma’s comment, I was just more referring to the grossness of referring to her brother i.e family to a douche.
ignore last comment, I left that comment before reading on to your other comment, anyhoo…next bitch.
Hahaha…this post basically describes the first 18 years of my life…with not one but two brothers!! Then I moved out and BAM! Sanity restored.
I am pretty close with my brothers too, now that we’re not living together any more, heh. Get your parents to throw him the hell out, if he’s old enough to apply to be a cop he’s old enough to have his own place.
zZz, again I ask: Why would anyone ever FLIP TOAST? lol
What is wrong with your toaster that it doesn’t cook both sides at once? Are you using a stick over a fire??
I’ll post a bitch tomorrow on it. Hopefully the Nazi will see it through and post it.
I’ll warn you now, once I start typing, it’s going to get heated and may be a little long.
Don’t go flaming me for it’s length and uselessness.
It’s a red button that No Dogma’s pushed…