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Dear roommate: I know you’re delightfully unobservant. That’s why I was ecstatic when you left for the weekend to go to Quebec City and you left a pound of bacon in the fridge. I’m now eating the entire thing as a snack, and I know you won’t even notice it’s missing when you come back. —Fat and Not Sorry

This article appears in Feb 12-18, 2015.

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  2. One of the rasher acts of larceny to be smoked out on LTWWB. I’m sure your pokey roommate wont rind, at all.

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