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K, so, you couldn’t just clamp your ass cheeks together and hold it a minute or two longer…until you got off the bus!!! You were standing next to my head and you let one rip – no, I didn’t hear it, but, we could ALL smell it! RANK! You disguisting, filthy, pig! I hope you shit yourself!
—Just another day
This article appears in Feb 26 – Mar 4, 2009.
9 Comments
Shitty. …hehe, sorry. Couldn’t resist.
Seriously though, the only thing worse than being on the bus in the morning, is sitting next to the guy with the eggshits. And the only thing worse than that, is not having an escape route, thus being forced to inhale said shit particles. I’d take onion breath, BO, and even crab harvesting over that guy.
In the immortal words of my 94 year old mother: ‘Where ever you may be, let your wind rip free.’ This guy obviously took her advice. Try working near that useless and equally smelly sewage treatment plant downtown if you want to really gag. Thank you, you dumb tits at City Hall!
Ah, the unfortunate aspects of having to take public transit.
How do you know this guy didn’t try to clamp his cheeks? Perhaps he has crohns and was very embarrassed he couldn’t hold it in. As a hospital worker I smell shit all the time and feel bad for people who have gastro intestinal problems. I suppose the odd person is just rude but I would hazzard a guess that most people clamp their ass cheeks and do their best not to assault anyones senses. So…get over it and just smell the shit with the roses..cuz one day you might be squeezing your cheeks in futility.
To #@%”: you are absolutely correct!
To #@%” – Maybe I should have addressed you by name with your “perhaps” and your “hazzards” – I know exactly who you are….”perhaps” you shouldn’t be so obvious….
is “Sitting by the fake fireplace in Tantallon, waxing my board.” the default setting? or is this loon creating new id’s every other fucking day?
Drunk Gilr, bearded onion, etc…
and OP, if you didn’t hear it, how do you know who it came from? It could have been some taco-loving chica sitting behind you… or some frat boy after a night of kieths down a ways.
It would appear that Granny (can’t) Clampett.
is “Sitting by the fake fireplace in Tantallon, waxing my board.” the default setting? I think so cuz I didn’t write it.
Perplexed at how you could possibly know who I am “just another day”. This week is the first time I ever posted a comment here.