*Sigh* Oh, PINK… As beautiful as you are, you make me sad. Not a day goes by when I don’t see you, waiting for the ferry all by yourself and engrossed in a spy novel, and tear my heart out hoping you’ll notice me… maybe even smile at me. I only wish I were brave enough to tell you how I feel in person, but you are far too beautiful for my clumsy attempts to woo you, and I get tongue-tied just thinking of you. Clearly, you deserve far better than I can ever offer, but I wanted you to know that your sweet, kind, gentle face never fails to melt my heart, weaken my knees and bathe me in sunlight on even the cloudiest of days. You deserve a great guy who worships you as I do, and maybe you already have one. A girl as lovely as you must have many worthy suitors. Sadly, I’m far too shy and, well, dorky to risk disturbing you. But that doesn’t mean you don’t always make my day just by being around. Thank you. And if you ever feel like putting that book down and chatting, I’ll be only too happy to oblige. —Without Notice

This article appears in Apr 7-13, 2011.

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48 Comments

  1. Aww, you should go for it, she may be too shy to make the first move… Maybe talk about spy novels as she clearly likes them?

    Either way, best of luck!

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  4. And then you end up with a situation like that one who brought the tea over to the british guy. do you REALLY want to read any more of those types of bitches? heh.

    I think people (myself included, I’ll admit) worry about being seen as creepy or clingy. That’s a big part of the problem, I’m guessing.

    It’s funny though, because this has happened to me in the past a bunch of times — a guy random guy (usually someone I’ve seen around in my travels, but sometimes just guys I’ve come across that moment) has approached me and started flirting/chatting me up (one even made a grand gesture to get my attention regarding a bus that just drove past me) and I’ve been so DUMB at the time I didn’t realize until like an hour later when they were gone and I got that “HAY WAIT A MINUTE!” lightbulb going on in my head. So, some people out there are just DUMB when it comes to picking up on things like this. Myself included. Likely because I had that whole self loathing thing going on and figured no one would be interested in me.

    I’m over that shit.

    In any event, I don’t find anyone who comes to talk to me randomly for whatever reason, creepy, but I’m an extrovert who likes talking to people regardless. I wouldn’t find someone coming up and hitting on me creepy, but for some reason i have a fear of coming across as creepy myself. *sigh*

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  6. I’m merely stating a point and attempting to relate a possible causation for OP’s timidness.

    I like to provide a well rounded point of view.

    Also: I’ve pretty much lost most of my patience with you. Especially today. Today is not the day to test me.

    http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/compl…

    So please fuck off now.

    Thanks!

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  8. all this newly proclaimed vigor you’re embracing…
    I would have thought a few little shots would roll right off…

    not to mention all these people hitting on you and sex you’ve had….

    I actually thought the surprise was the new car your dad is buying you when you get your license…. tell me it’s not a hybrid…

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  9. Wow. What a FANTASTIC outlook on life. I’m so sorry no one meets your ridiculously high standards. It must be so hard being perfect in such an imperfect world. Well 98% of the time, that is.

    If I could *only* live up to your expectations! I’d FINALLY be a complete and whole person! But alas, the idiocy in me yields what can only be called an EPIC FAILURE.

    *cry!*

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  10. “not to mention all these people hitting on you and sex you’ve had….”

    Who said anything about sex? I certainly didn’t. And I was merely stating that when it comes to recognizing when someone IS hitting on me, I’m ridiculously dense. I’m not saying it’s an inordinate amount, I’m saying it happens, and I usually don’t get it.

    But thanks for making me sound like a huge slut!

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  11. Doesn’t the bread lady usually threaten to take the hose out on you 2 by now?

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  13. You know, I really do like zed. I think he’s a smart guy, great sense of humour, was great to finally meet him irl, but sometimes he’s just really mean on here. And sometimes I just don’t have the patience for it. Especially when it involves embarrassing someone for relating personal circumstances to someone to show that you empathize with their situation, or to throw another possibility to someone’s argument out there.

    Must be all that sex I’m having that’s getting me all riled up. But ask zed about that — he seems to know a lot more about my sex life than I do, or something? (seriously, where the heck did THAT come from?)

    *lesigh*

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  14. PK don’t take it personally, or even pay any attention to it … I don’t think he gives to shit really. Meh.

    It is entertaining though. Lol, you two are like duelling cousins who still have to face each other on major holidays.

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  19. HAHA, no worries, Donk, I don’t take anything on LTWWB/L personally. ROFLZ. In all seriousness, I probably don’t convey this very well, because even someone I know irl took this literally, but most of the jousting on here on my part towards people like zed, or when I told jonno to go eat a ham sandwich, or when I tell NGF he’s so fat he probably has to duct tape his gut in order to fit in his car is very much not serious on my part.

    Just something about that guy and his stupid attitude towards my comment just rubbed me the wrong fucking way this afternoon.

    With all the assholes I’ve had to deal with as of late, I just can’t take any more meanness 🙁 I try to be nice and bad things just keep happening. Imma ’bout ready to give up being nice. Politeness week is OVER.

    PS: my dad’s buying me a volvo.

    PPS: Bread lady! *hugs* You’ll find her! I’m sending nothing but good thoughts and wishes!!!

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  20. i *mouse ears* volvos. my brudder rolled the volvo tank when he was younger. slight dent in the roof and not a scratch on the passengers. this was before air bags bitches

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  21. Stop trying to be nice … and just … be.

    That’s my philosophy. I just be (with nice painted nails … in the colour ‘Pacific Blue’ by Sally Hansen, I recommend … if you’re a polish type of gal).

    Lol

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  23. What happen bread lady? I’ve been busy and haven’t read a lot of comments? Did your pup run away?

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  24. no sweetie^^ a newly adopted greyhound ran away and we have been searching. we are on kiiji and all other avenues have been taken as well

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  25. you’ve never even spoke to her, you’re stereotyping her into being someone who wont accept you. She could be just as “nerdy” as you you never know. She reads spy novels. She rides the ferry like any other ordinary human being, such as yourself. Your making her seem ugly, as if she would turn you down in an instant ( maybe she will unfortunately, or maybe not) Just do yourself a favor and talk to her see what happens. If she turns you down then you know she not as pretty as she looks, unless she has good reason ( such as a boyfriend/husband, or shyness like you. Or you will spark up a good conversation that will maybe lead into another. Either way you will have peice of mind. I hope you don’t take this as a bitchy comment, it’s really not meant that way. I hope you gain the courage some of us cant and it works out. Good Luck in whatever you choose!

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  26. oh hey ! yeah I saw that ad about the lost dog. Hope he/she is found. Poor thing must be terrified.

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  28. for the most part, I just jest… but really….
    http://www.thecoast.ca/LovetheWayWeBitch/a…

    “…I’ll fully admit, that some of the best sex (taking the entire experience into account) I’ve had…”
    “…I’ve experienced a range of penis sizes ….”
    shall I go on?
    you’ve a wealth of posts from which I may derive.

    “Wow. What a FANTASTIC outlook on life. I’m so sorry no one meets your ridiculously high standards. It must be so hard being perfect in such an imperfect world. Well 98% of the time, that is. “

    that was…. nice comeback. definitely not how I intended my statement to be interpreted… I just get frustrated with the majority of ‘nouns’ in my day.
    Living so viably and unequivocally uninterested and unfulfilled breeds contempt and I’m cursed with a bickering spirit and a wealth of (mostly useless) knowledge from which I draw.

    I need a passion that doesn’t kill me…

    but that’s just me.
    You’ve got it better than I, take solace in that fact when I pick and poke at you.

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  29. Z. Off topic a little. When I read your posts a need a thesaurus. Lol. It reminds me of the friends episode that joey wrote the letter for the adoption agency. (Sorry for my spelling at the doctors office on my phone). I love you guys. Don’t take it personal at all PK. Its entertainment and that’s why were here to bitch an bicker an dissagree. It was just easier when we didn’t all have faces to the conversation.
    Bread lady… I’m so sorry to hear the news. Good luck in finding her.

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  31. Thank you! Alright, let me see how I’m gonna start… “Dear baby adoption decider people…”

    and languages were always my worst subject.

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  32. LOL a “range” could be like, as little as three (big, medium, small). And if the best was small, it could be just one. Maybe you interpreted that a little differently than I intended (, however, that’s truly as far as I’ll ever go on here discussing my sex life. Especially now that I’m SO totally not anonymous anymore. heh.

    In any event, I apologize, zed. I may have overreacted a little. I tend to take things to heart a little too much. And as much as I loathe it when others do this, I loathe it more when I do it — I was exhausted and pre-migrainey yesterday afternoon so a tad bit too sensitive. If it’s any consolation, I currently feel like my head is about to pop off at any moment (thanks to this asshole weather and the air pressure) and I can’t see for shit today, so there’s that.

    And hay, I can completely relate to your plight, dude.

    “Living so viably and unequivocally uninterested and unfulfilled breeds contempt and I’m cursed with a bickering spirit and a wealth of (mostly useless) knowledge from which I draw.”

    I wouldn’t say I’m completely unfullfilled (not like I dread getting out of bed in the morning or anything at this point) but I don’t have much to look forward to, either. At least at this particular point in time. I guess I have a good imagination and that helps me get through the day.

    And the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. Just think of all the things you DO have that others would love to have too. I’m certainly not going to take solace in knowing that someone thinks they don’t have it that great and that I seemingly have it better than they do. It saddens me more than anything.

    But hay, I’m a natural nurturer and care taker, so I tend to be a little more passionate when it comes to feelings and making sure everyone’s ok. As much as a “good” attribute as that is, it’s also a curse. Trust me.

    Hard to focus on your own shit when you just want to give the world a hug, some milk and a cookie. *sigh*

    Anyway still buds?

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  34. PG I’m just beside myself with worry for the missing doggie! I’ve had a missing cat before (when we would actually let the cat we had out during the day) and it is an absolutely awful feeling. I was gutted.

    Can you give me some of the stats of the missing doggie? Where’d she go missing? What does she look like? Did she have a collar on? I’ll certainly spread the word however I can!!!

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  36. you can go the nova scotia lost dog network and all the info is there, including a flyer to download. she is a brindle greyhound, looks like my avatar

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  39. I’m not seeing the world through rose coloured classes at all. I just refuse to believe that your life and everything in it is an absolute pile of crap (how can it be when obv you have people in your life who absolutely adore you?). Cut the emo shit, dude. You’re smarter than that.

    And you sound a whole lot like me pre 2003. I was only happy (well more comfortable) when I was miserable and when I was happy I was miserable, but not comfortable in that type of misery.

    You should really considering seeing someone about this. I see a lot of my former self in you and if you keep going the way you’re going… it’s not going to be pretty. Trust me on this.

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  41. That’s not even funny, zed.

    Go to your family doc. Get a frigging referral to Capital Mental Health and talk to someone. You’re oh so obviously depressed (I’m serious). OR if your work benefits plan covers it: see someone privately.

    You’re traveling down a really fucked up, scary path, dude. Like I said, I’ve been there and I’ve experienced what can happen if you let it go on for too long. It’s not worth it. I spent years trying to dig myself out of a very deep hole that could’ve been avoided. And the aftershocks still fuck with me to this day.

    I only say this because I care because I know how shitty it is to be in your position. No one deserves that.

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  42. He’s fine PK. He’s still holding a grudge from laser tag is all. *Insert Mutley laugh here*

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  45. I tried to find the pic where the lazer is coming out of dude’s mouth in die another day…
    but, and thankfully so, there are a very limited number of pics of that B class bond movie available.
    Writing Jinx out of that movie would have been the best use of the writer’s brain at the time….

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  46. You *are* still sad about Lazer tag, aren’t you?

    🙁

    Wasn’t I out of the province when all that went down? Can’t blame me for ruining it! 😀

    Also: people tend to be all “yay!” about events that involve food and/or drinks. FYI.

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  48. Thought I’d just make a post here seeing as it’s posted on kijiji right now in case anyone is inclined to come looking for this post

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