One Night Stand Novice

Anglo (and Donk): How exactly does the vaginal tightness, or lack thereof, differ between a woman who has lots of sex with different partners all the time, and a woman who has lots of sex with the same partner all the time? Do a polyamorous woman’s vaginal muscles somehow cease to function when faced with multiple partners? And if there is a correlation between genital elasticity and promiscuity, how come there aren’t all kinds of dudes walking around with saggy peens?

Your comments = slut-shaming fail

Actually, PK, I’ve never taken a women’s or gender studies course in my life, but it’s funny that I’ve been accused of that consistently on this board long before I ever enrolled in any sort of post-secondary education. I’m not some wide-eyed freshman eager to be indoctrinated; believe it or not, I’ve actually managed to come to my own conclusions after 30 years of experiencing life as a woman. I actually signed up for a gender and women’s studies course last year and dropped it after a couple of classes because the prof was a second-wave feminist dinosaur and completely full of shit. I’m unabashedly a feminist, but I’m not incapable of critical thought when it comes to feminist philosophies.

The point I was trying to make is that slut-shaming, half-jokingly or otherwise, actually can have real-life consequences for women. Look at any rape case in which the victim is accused of having a “reputation” and you’ll see exactly what I mean. Women who are painted as sluts and whores are often considered almost less-than-human and deserving of whatever treatment they get.

Donk: I totally get what you’re saying, and I have much patience for people who repeatedly engage in self-destructive behaviour and then expect sympathy for their shitty choices. But I think we all generally feel that way of any shitty behaviour, not just sexual, and I think it’s important to make the issue about the fact that they don’t take responsibility for themselves, not that they’re a “slut” or a woman who otherwise behaves outside of the accepted boundaries of feminine behaviour.

Also, calling men sluts…well..it doesn’t quite have the same implications, you know? “No shame there” is an apt statement because, really, there’s little if any shame attached to being a “male slut”. The problem is that when we use the word “slut” to describe men, even if we’re using it as a term meaning they’re indiscriminately promiscuous, we’re still not using it consistently with how the word is used in regards to women. When against men, it tends to get used just to criticise a habit, but to describe a woman, it’s almost always understood as a dismissal of what she’s saying, what she’s doing, or even of her worth as a person.

Anyway, despite assertions to the contrary, I’m not some crazed feminazi bitch who lacks a sense of humour. There are some things I just generally don’t find funny though, like negative stereotypes of women, gays and other marginalized folks. As well, just like most people here, I tend to use this forum to rant about shit that gets under my skin. I’m opinionated as hell, but I’m not nearly as much of a hard-ass in real life as I may come across here sometimes.

Yeah, I’m just an overgrown bairn yet, PG 🙂 Although being surrounded by 18 year olds everyday, I really feel like a codger sometimes. That is indeed my wee meowface, but sadly, he doesn’t live with me anymore. He’s decidedly not an apartment cat, so he lives with my folks in the country where he can hunt mice in the fields to his heart’s delight.

I enjoy the different perspectives too, Donk, and I appreciate your willingness to share yours in a friendly and open-minded manner. It’s always nice to be able to talk about certain issues without it degenerating into bizarre accusations of extremist political affiliations 🙂

Anglo: the bitch is about a one-night stand. You brought up STDs (totally valid) and then made a completely unnecessary “joke” about how sleeping around makes women’s vaginas “loose”. You, and no one else, brought up the mythology of “bad things” that happen to women who sleep around, and I called you on it.

You responded by saying you “have no respect for women who are sexually liberated” or “man whores” and then pointlessly added that your monogamous relationship makes you happy (good for you!). When it appeared that you either didn’t understand, or didn’t care, why your views amount to slut-shaming and that, despite supposed “changes in society” you mention, there’s still a very big difference between calling a man a whore and calling a woman one, I continued a more fruitful discussion with Donk. At no point did I call you names, or engage in a “vendetta” against you, so you can quit with the baseless accusations.

You are, of course, entitled to your opinions, and no one is preventing you from sharing your views on the subject at any time, but if you really believe what you’re saying, then you’re going to deal with the fact that I’m probably going to continue to disagree with you.

Shouldn’t you be under a bridge somewhere, Hugo?

I meant, Hugo, how’s about you shut your pretty little mouth and go make me a sammich, hmmm?

Geez, Hugo. That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think? Calling me a cunt is one thing, but calling me montrealman, well mister, that’s just crossing a line.

No hard feelings, Anglo, I was really just trying to make a point, and originally, a small one at that. It definitely evolved into a much larger point after both you and Donk responded and the conversation elaborated, but I can assure you it was intended in the spirit of healthy debate and challenging of ideas, rather than as an attack on anyone.

Relax, Hugo, I was joking.