To all the guys I’ve dated and got either fed up with or board of; thanks for the cuddles and the resounding disappointment. To the guy who will finally steal my heart (and have the common sense to hold onto it); hurry the fuck up. I’m tired of waiting and buying a dozen cats is starting to sound pretty good right about now. —Future spinster
This article appears in Sep 18-24, 2014.
As a man, I believe it is far safer with the cats. They don’t mess around with the toilet seat at all.
Pets gives one unconditional love….more than most dates.
Two men never fight over the toilet seat…
BORED, BTW…
Speaking as a long time cat owner, let me know how that works out for you…
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xDrg7wG3JZY/UnmG…
Cats are manipulative,backstabbing,liars who think too highly of themselves.
Cats do truly love unconditionally.
GETTING BOARD OF YOU GUYS
“To all you guys I’ve dated and got either fed up with or boared of, thanks for the cuddle and the resounding disappointment.” Future spinster
Which did you find worse, getting fed up with or board of the guys you dated? Did they get board of you too?
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
‘Cats are manipulative,backstabbing,liars who think too highly of themselves.’
Yes. Yes they are.
Though I take exception to the ‘think too highly of themselves’ part. Cats are the supreme rulers of all things and as such think highly of themselves, but not too highly because they SHOULD be thought of highly.
I like my cat.
Dear poster, your missive reeks of desperation and a neediness that should make any sane, healthy, red-blooded male bolt in the opposite direction.
You might remember this when it comes to adopting more kitties. Smother mothers are not pretty.
My advice? Stop watching Jennifer Aniston rom-coms.
I don’t think it’s desperation as much as it’s just general frustration with the shitty shitty Halifax dating pool.
It’s hard finding good men around here, and I don’t care who flames me for this assertion.
two way street sammich.
for every ‘where are the good men’ bitches, there’s just as many ‘prissy, narcissistic biatches that won’t give me a chance’ bitches.
http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/cat_a3b90…
All the good men have already married all the non prissy, non narcissistic biatches. All that’s left are unemployed men with poor hygiene and whiney women who are past their prime but have nit-picked every suitor to approach them for the past 15 years.
I don’t think it’s too picky to desire a partner that has a job and can carry on an actual intelligent conversation. But maybe that’s just me.
No PK, those are very reasonable things to expect. I was joking with my post, in case you missed it. 🙂
Nice to know I’m not the only woman who thought the Halifax dating scene was the shits. I won’t be flaming you about that comment, BS/PK, I know from experience that most of the single men in Halifax were single for ummm….an obvious reason.
OP, a cat AND a vibrator is a perfect replacement. Better company with the cat, better orgasms with the toy. 🙂
If you don’t agree, better move or stay single…..
MizzNyowie, Is the obvious reason that they don’t want to get into a serious relationship with a deseperate 30-something who prefers cats and vibrators (weird combo but that’s none of my business) to the company of men?
Ughhh…another “modern woman” who depends on her partner to entertain you and make sure you don’t get bored. I bet your suiters, past and present, are glad when the relationship ends so the responsibility of your entertainment doesn’t fall on their shoulders. There’s nothing more annoying than a bored bitch!!
I can’t comment on OB, BUT, some of us who just can’t find what we’re looking for (and we really don’t require a long list of picky details) aren’t desperate. I’m single and I have a pretty full life as a single lady – interests, friends, hobbies, etc…, and I’ve always been able to entertain myself on my own.
So, not all of us who aren’t willing to settle for just anyone depends on their partner for entertainment and the like. At this point, I could take a relationship or leave it, to be honest. *shrug*
Its so hard to find good men anywhere. I haven’t tried but I’m already taken. Coast to Coast and the story is the same in every city. Now heres where someone will say “oh I lived in Toronto and it was so much better there”. And thats why you’re still single.
Hoist, I’m not speaking for other women, I’m just going by my own personal experience. I honestly enjoyed the company of my cats more than that of most men I’ve been involved with. My vibrator gets me off every time, whereas out of the 28 guys I’ve slept with in my life, maybe 5-6 of them were actually able to get me off.
Desperate?! Ha! I was the one who dumped the guy who wouldn’t go down on me, remember? And I could list a good ten other deal breakers I have…
Damn, 80% of the guys you rode couldn’t “get you off”. You sound fun in the sack, arms crossed waiting for your orgasm to be given to you. I’d give up and take mine too, then move on to someone who will participate.
Heck, PK, even “has a job” may be negotiated down to “finishing studies/actively looking” (and not “lifelong slacker”) but being able to carry an intelligent conversation and having some level of shared interests ought to be a basic requirement.
First of all, SHITMFD, haha I like the imagery in that post.
MizzNyowie, I didn’t think you were speaking for all women. But you’ve also stated in the past that you have changed provinces to find men and that you’ve slept with nearly 30 men in an attempt to find one that could get you off. It sounds a little desperate. (To clarify, I am not calling you a slut, nor am I implying that all women who have many sexual partners are desperate. Context.) But I do understand that sexual compatibility is important in a relationship, I don’t think the fault of your failed orgasms is 100%, on those poor unfortunate men’s shoulders. Not when so many people have had a go at it and failed to meet your standards. At least part of the problem must have to do with you. What happened to the 5-6 men who were able to subdue the beast? Why are they no longer around?
For some reason MizzNyowie I am picturing you as Dana Barret after she’s been posessed by Zuul.
LOL Hoist I’m picturing the mental image of Dana right now in Ghostbusters. I look nothing like Sigourney Weaver, but I can kinda understand why you picture me that way. Maybe a shorter blonde version of the possessed.
But anyway, to clear things up with you and Stevie: no I don’t just lay on my back expecting the man to do all the work. I even make a point to communicate and tell them what I want and ask them what they like under the sheets. What he wants, I will do (unless it’s eating his asshole…*barf*).
I moved to Calgary for better employment, not to find a man, although I will point out that leaving Halifax because of its shitty dating scene was extra incentive to flee.
I don’t sleep with men just for the sole purpose to get off these days. I’m 34 and want to settle down. Yes, I’ve had one night stands in the past, but my sleeping around occured mainly in my 20s and now if I just wanna cum, I’ll ram the toy on my clit.
As for those 5-6 men that have been able to subdue the beast– two were just one night stands, three of them were not compatible with me in the personality, and the other one I got along with but he hated cats. Hate cats=huge deal breaker for me. Some men were just in it for his icing squirt, some genuinely tried but even after some guidance they couldn’t roll my eyes back in my head (one guy in his late 30s thought my labia minora was my clit ffs!!)
Lets face it, a lot of guys can’t fuck. I’m sorry.
Haha MizzNyowie, fair enough.
This bitch makes me “board” like a 2 x 4. Yes honey get a cat or a body pillow, FFS. You will grow out of this phase when you get out of your 20’s and this need for incessant petting will recede… a man should provide more than cuddles or else he need to get to steppin. Pat yur got damn self on da back n go eat a pizza.
I have to chime in here and say that I’ve had some lackluster and downright terrible sexual experiences with ladies as well but that doesn’t mean they sucked in bed (well maybe a couple of them) we just weren’t compatible. Finding someone who gets you off the way you like can be hard for a man as well, and in the 10 years or so that I’ve been sexually active I’ve yet to meet a girl that had enough moves to actually make it so that I didn’t have to do 70-90 % of the work. Entitlement is a running theme. It’s up to me to get them off and up to me to get myself off. I’m not singling out women it’s a problem in our culture and society in general. We expect instant gratification and even things as complex as sexual compatibility and having another person make you cum handed to us on a silver platter, it takes work and patience sometimes.
Sorry to hear you’re getting frustrated and discouraged. You’re not alone.