To all you disgusting people who think it’s ok to let one rip in public indoor areas: NO ONE WANTS TO SMELL YOUR INSIDES! All I want is to be able to walk in a mall, store or public area without having my nostrils assaulted by someone’s colon stench. You have no idea how often this actually happens. Cork it people!
This article appears in Jul 31 – Aug 6, 2008.
For all you fart connoisseurs out there:The SBD (silent but deadly)EggyThe Reverb (echoes like the Grand Canyon)The Belcher (Deep and long–like it’s trying to say the alphabet)The Chunker (fart usually accompanied by a pebble or two)Minty aka the Mentholator (come on, you’ve all had those)The Trumpet (high pitched and vibrating)The Flappy (real loose sounding)The Stalker (seems to follow you wherever you go)
TTFN, not sure I get the “Metholator” one….pretty funny though.
TTFN, you are one gross lady, and I love every bit of your farty goodness.
I’d like to start up a support group for inhibited farters – teach ’em how to play the colonal clarinet without a shred of guilt. This would, of course, appeal to thousands of repressed Catholics, some of who have internally combusted rather than joyfully play the anal trumpet.
If that anal trumpet and colonal clarinet are accompanied by the vaginal viola and choir of queefs, count me in!!
Here’s a few for the “inhibited farters”:The Fweeee: Attempts at hiding it failed, as the fartee was sitting on a hard-surfaced chairThe Poot: A teeny fartThe Riveter: A series of pootsThe Fluff: A silent and mostly scentless emissionThe Ripper: Like the fweee, but without the chair. Loud and joyeous- my fave.
what’dya call those ones where the farts just keep coming, between fits of laughter? that once happened to a friend of mine, in a room full of people no less. needless to say, everyone roared even louder… and so did the farting!so, what exactly is it about the ‘fart’ that makes people laugh (or cry, as the case may be, at the deadly ones)?
If only it were that simple – sigh – colon rumbles can’t always be contained, corked or uncorked. If you have IBS or a sick colon, ripping one off immediately relieves the pressure, thus the pain. As my dear ol’ mammy used to say: ‘Where ever you may be, let your wind blow free’. (Then shoot a dirty look at someone else.)
TTFN, your grandma rocksI agree that there is nothing worst than being trapped in a hot elevator with someones rancid fart.But nothing puts a smile on your face like the way farting in a hot elevator with 10 people inside and quickly exitting does.Besides who wants to hold it in? Just let’er go in a subtle manner
I dont think theres a name for those yet. Maybe we should call them techcafes.
@matadoryou still here, creep?shouldn’t you be running around in a cage somewhere with your knuckles dragging on the ground and picking lice out of your fellow primates’ asshairs or something?give it a rest creep, you’re behaving like a juvenile delinquent, and making yourself look like a fool.
fight!!!!!techcafe, matador said you were a poopy head. I swear. I heard him.ps this is a freaking hilarious thread and TTFN you are now my hero.
now settle down, hedgy… and wipe the drool from your face, sweetie
Once during my PT test (military days) I had to do as many situps as I could do… on about the 8th one, I started farting on every exertion.. I couldn’t hold them in.. With the PT Instructor holding my legs, he decided I passed at 15.. usually I would have done 30 or more.. LOL
I totally missed out on this one. TTFN: i love how ‘Eggy’ needs no explanation. It’s just kinda out there on it’s own.