

To the cute bouncer at a trendy nightclub
We met a while ago when I was home for a visit. I didn’t know then that I’d become so smitten with you over the months to come. Although we live in different places, I keep hoping you’ll give this a real try. —Your Sarcastic Toronto Friend
LoveButt
You don’t need to keep leaving me treats and greeting cards in my doorway, I’m grateful to simply be alongside you. —LunchButt
Your red hair and my nuts
It was a Saturday at Pete’s in the afternoon, and I was awkwardly holding a bag of nuts and talking to my friend. You have long red hair and you were wearing a cream-coloured coat. You walked by, and we shared a smile, and a little laugh. I think you’re super-beautiful. I’m the woman with…
Missed connection or just *WOW* you are handsome
To the very handsome and friendly firefighter (white uniform) whom I was chatting with in line at Superstore late morning on a Tuesday: I am sure you have a lovely wife. On the off chance that you do not, I am very single. If I missed an opportunity, maybe the universe will find a way…
Paid criminals
Why are all these dirty cops in the news lately getting suspended with pay? You got one out there raping women, and another out there committing armed robbery, but they still get to keep their paychequ that comes out of the pockets of taxpayers! The typical police salary in Nova Scotia is 12 percent above…
Stadium
Halifax don’t have the money to build football stadium, but I know a shipyard in the city that might have a few bucks to build it and name it after them! Any guess who it is? —Easy To Solve This Problem
Drivers
Dear people, there’s this thing in all cars in trucks—it’s called the turn signal indicator. Most, if not all, know this exists, however many do not what it is for. Please go to YouTube or Google for operating instructions before you get yourself killed. —Idiots
Not enough bread to buy bread
We have a serious bread problem in HRM’s grocery stores, and I’m not talking about price fixing. I’m talking about your stale-ass dunce loaves! There’s no excuse for the stores that have their own built-in bakery department to be selling old-ass bread. Most of the time it’s sitting on the shelves still frozen from the…
Happy for what you did!
I worked the advance polls before the election, and not only was I surprised at the amazing turnout, I was happy to see it as well. What really made my long days better was seeing parents bring their children with them to vote and encouraging them to be part of the process—letting them put the…
Just a couple of dunces II
“Oh, Fortuna, you capricious sprite!” I always tell people about our lovely, spontaneous encounter on the bus. About how it was a perfect rom-com set-up, and how I was so stupid to let you go without asking for your number. —Find Me
Tastes like chicken
Fish odor syndrome is real and common. I’m so sick of the spread of misinformation out there. Everyone seems to think the fishy smell means bacterial vaginosis. Very rarely is that the case. If you smell like fish, it means you probably recently ate fish! I spoke with my girlfriends about this and they agree…
The housing crisis
To the people in Halifax who own property and are overcharging for said property through unfair rental costs: You are disgusting, putrid trash. It is literally impossible to find a place to live here without spending half or more of your income on lining a landlord’s pockets. You greedy scum. And to the politicians who…
Check yourself
To the mom with the fedora at the sports store: We asked you to take your conversation with your teenager elsewhere and your reply was, “Obviously you don’t have kids.” Guess what? I don’t need to have kids to see that you’re a spoiled brat. The store was almost empty, you could have sat anywhere…
Huge thanks
To the person who returned my student ID: I was on my way to a school event (where I actually needed to present it) when I realized it must have fallen out of my pocket. I backtracked and was frantically texting my roommate when you walked up and held it out to me. I asked…
Wage slavery is alive and real
The cost of living keeps increasing every day. I’m talking basics like rent hikes and electricity—screw the luxury $200 cable and internet packages. As a single-person household, I cannot keep myself afloat without working two jobs and setting myself nuts. None of the jobs will pay you a livable wage. Employers only offer temp or…
Enough is enough
How many more HRP and RCMP officers are going to be arrested and charged with serious crimes such as domestic assaults, theft and DUIs, only to have the charges dropped, before there is call for a public inquiry. Apparently the only people the police are serving and protecting are their own. All police officers must…
The Fiddler on the Roof plays on
Fiddler on the Roof shows at Spatz Theatre on Sat Nov 2 at 7:30pm and Sun Nov 3 at 1:30pm and 7pm. Last May, the St. Joseph’s Stage Prophets Theatre Company’s production of Fiddler on the Roof sold out all six of its shows. “That almost never happens,” says Justin Brown, who plays Tevye in…
Ten questions with Alestorm
Sailing the high seas of heavy metal since the mid-2000s, the members of Scottish band Alestorm wanna melt your face with Metallica-inspired guitars while having their tongues firmly planted in their cheeks. Probably the biggest pirate metal band out there—something the five-piece leans into with album titles like Captain Morgan’s Revenge and song titles like…
Review: The Souvenir will leave you waiting
The Souvenir screens at Carbon Arc cinema on Nov 1 at 7pm and 9:30pm. The extent of one’s enjoyment of director Joanna Hogg’s The Souvenir will be determined by whether a film being strong in almost every individual aspect can make up for the fact that its pace is almost unbearably slow. This coming-of-age story…
Stop, pop and roll: Our favourite moments of Halifax Pop Explosion 2019
To call Halifax Pop Explosion a varied fest feels obvious: The venerable event has been celebrating the best of local, national and international acts for more than two decades. A peep at this year’s schedule alone—which saw bluegrass-y concerts in churches slotted next to sweeping emo showcases on the city’s biggest stages—belies both the breadth…
Sure Things, Halloweekend edition
So, you’re a last-minute Halloween lover and you’re trying to decide where to debut your costume. We’ve got your back with a roundup of the top parties in town, both tonight and over the weekend. Trick or treat on! A night of comedy at the silent movies w/organist Shawn Whynot Saturday A screening of the…
Nova Scotia College of Early Childhood Education: Making a Difference in the World
Maria Garcia had first expressed her interest in becoming an Early Childhood Educator when she visited ISANS (Immigrant Services Association of Nova Scotia) in 2013. She had a few concerns with enrolling; the first was that her English language skills weren’t where she wanted them to be, and this was an important requirement to access…
Hal-Con, a homecoming
Kristina Gillis has come a long way since her first Hal-Con three years ago. “I was a bit worried about being judged because I was also cosplaying for the first time, but I was amazed at how well it went over,” she recalls on day three of Hal-Con 2019. “Everyone was so friendly and accepting.”…
“Get over it, menstruation is normal” says Halifax councillor Lisa Blackburn
Staff will take another crack at figuring out how to provide free menstrual products in all HRM facilities, after councillor Lorelei Nicoll—who first brought the issue to council—said the initial pilot project presented this week could do more, and perhaps even cost less. Estimates vary, but it’s said that mensturators spend anywhere from $29 to…
Dalhousie Fountain School of Performing Arts: Paving the Path for the Future
Kaelen MacDonald heard about the Bachelor of Arts Honours in Theatre (Costume Studies) from the director of her after-school theatre program. She encouraged Kaelen to apply, noting that half of the reason to train at the post- secondary level is for the connections you can make. Kaelen happily applied to this one-of-a-kind program, and was soon…
The federal election is over; time to get to work
The election may be over, but there’s no time to be complacent. Canadians voters—and many people too young to vote—demanded that politicians take climate disruption seriously. The parties and candidates listened and, for the first time, climate became a top election issue. Now we have to make sure they all come together to keep their…
How to Craft the Perfect Resume
Your resume is a fine-tuned machine: too much fluff, and employers will see right through you; not enough fluff, and your resume won’t stand out. We’re going to help you figure out just what to include (and what to leave out) so that you stand out of the slush pile for internships and future employers.…
Best Halloween costume ideas ever
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCORPIO (October 23- November 21) In his novel Zone One, Scorpio author Colson Whitehead writes, “A monster is a person who has stopped pretending.” He means it in the worst sense possible: the emergence of the ugly beast who had been hiding behind social niceties. But I’m going to twist his meme for…
Five Key Skills that will Result in Success in Any New Work Environment
G raduation days are fast approaching, or maybe they’ve already passed you by. Either way, you’ll probably be looking for that full-time gig pretty soon (if you haven’t already started looking). In this modern-day competitive job market, it can be completely overwhelming to feel like you’re expected to know everything about your employer, the ins…
Quickie thinking
Q My little dick has always held me back. I didn’t date in high school because I couldn’t stand the thought of girls discussing my tiny manhood. That said, I’ve adapted fairly well and become skilled with my tongue and hands. The biggest problem is that my dick is just small enough that the head…
Halifax’s apartment buildings are a trash-sorting dumpster fire, residents say
L iving in an apartment building can have its benefits. There’s security, there are facilities and the buildings provide services for tenants. For every residential building with more than six units in HRM, one of those services is garbage collection. “Each apartment building is required to have five bins in the waste room in the…
Tell me a story
My Hair is Beautiful In the late aughts, comedian Chris Rock released a documentary called Good Hair. Rock was inspired to get to the root of the relationship between Black women and their hair when his three-year-old daughter asked him, “Daddy, how come I don’t have good hair?” It’s a shame she didn’t have Shauntay…
8 Jobs That Aren’t Just Trends, They’re the Future
Let’s face it: you don’t want a job that you can only count on for a year. Job security is hard to come by these days, and you want to be able to sleep soundly knowing that your skills are transferable (even in the wildest of job markets). The job market is—and has been—rapidly changing…
Catherine Robertson keeps it real
Catherine Robertson’s Comedy Hour Wednesdays, 8:30pm Bearly’s, 1269 Barrington Street C atherine Robertson is a fixture of the local laugh scene: For over a decade, she’s been performing and honing her incredulous and inviting comedy. When she isn’t holding it down at Bearly’s or MC’ing at Yuk Yuk’s Tinder Tales series, she’s on various mics…
There’s a revolution happening in Lebanon
T here is a revolution happening in Lebanon that’s resulted in the resignation of the country’s prime minister. On October 17, what started as a protest of just a few thousand people, quickly grew into millions worldwide—including Halifax— standing in solidarity. The Lebanese are taking to the streets to protest years of corruption, unbridled nepotism and…
Maureen Batt’s playlist is Crossing Borders
Crossing Borders: Traversía Latinoamericana Paul O’Regan Hall, Halifax Central Library 5440 Spring Garden Road Oct 31, 6:30pm, free H alifax soprano Maureen Batt launches her fourth Crossing Borders recital series here at home before heading to South America on tour. On Thursday, October 31, Crossing Borders: Traversía Latinoamericana will be presented at the Halifax Central…
Mastering the Elevator Pitch
T he further we dive into the age of technology, the harder it is for our qualifications to stand out on their own. Candidates can look perfect on paper, having completed x amount of degrees, and still turn out to be a complete dud in person. To show an employer you’re ready to show up…
Dalhousie University’s Corporate Residency Master of Business Administration: Growing from Individual Strengths and Backgrounds
After spending most of her undergraduate degree aspiring to attend Law school, Abbie McLatchy began to question whether it was still the right path for her. In her fourth year, she was working in her parents’ Dartmouth restaurants, and realized she wanted to learn more about management, operations, and the hospitality industry following graduation. Writing,…
Common Roots Urban Farm sows its seeds
8th Annual Harvest Hootenanny and Pumpkin Smash Bi-Hi Park, Bayers Road Sat Nov 2 1-5pm As its successful first season in a new location winds down, Common Roots Urban Farm only sees growth in its future. Despite a delayed opening as a result of heavy rains, CRUF has been prospering at its new location at…
Canadian College of Massage and Hydrotherapy: A Career in Flexibility
Jacqueline (Jax) Sebetovsky graduated from the Canadian College of Massage and Hydrotherapy (CCMH) program in Bedford with honours in 2007 with a focus in Sports Therapy. Within her first year of graduating, she had the opportunity to work in a few different settings, and found her happy place working in multi-disciplinary clinics alongside other healthcare…
Harbour rising: Halifax’s harbourfront in 2100, come hell or high water
As the eye of Hurricane Dorian spun around Halifax Harbour like a cocoon, it could have been any other grey day in Nova Scotia—were it not for the building floating in the water in Herring Cove. The large boathouse was home to Thomas Reyno’s three boats, two tubes and 45 years worth of memories. Now…
University of King’s College: Falling in Love with Academia
How Early Modern Studies allowed Evangeline Freedman to explore a variety of interests and to see them as interconnected pieces
The University of Prince Edward Island: A Personal Experience
Keyshawn Bonamy didn’t want to attend a school where he would be seen as “just a number” to his professors. Prior to moving from the Bahamas, he had heard about the University of Prince Edward Island from a brochure. There’s a lot of recruitment from Canadian Universities, but UPEI especially stood out to Keyshawn because…
NSCAD University: Learning with our hands
As we learn more about the quiet crisis of unemployability resulting from the shift in the workforce, we must ensure our students are equipped with the necessary skills that lead to long- lasting careers. It is forecasted that Canadians can prepare for the future economy by developing skills that cannot easily be automated, such as critical…
The Atlantic School of Theology: Engaging with the Complexities of Society
Rick Gunn didn’t need the Atlantic School of Theology until he experienced what is known to some Christians as a “call to ministry.” He had worked in the church for about 15 years as a youth and music minister and was known as a “Designated Lay Minister” at Bedford United Church. People often told him…
Letters to the editor, October 31, 2019
Good call, NDP Terminating the candidacy of anyone who’s been nominated by a party’s members is not something a political party does casually. The nominated Dartmouth candidate who Judy Haiven refers to in her recent Coast letter was removed due to views she held which she later acknowledged to have been inappropriate, hateful and hurtful,…
Dalhousie University’s Master of Social Work: Social Transformation, Social Justice and Social Work
Qhe Dalhousie School of Social Work emphasizes critical, anti-oppressive and social justice approaches to social work practice. The School is now offering entrance to the Master of Social Work Program (MSW) to those with a bachelor of Social Work (BSW) and paid social work experience, and to those who do not have a BSW, but have a…
Still no booze allowed on Dalhousie campus
Editor’s Note: On November 1, 2019, most alcohol services were restored on Dalhousie University’s Halifax campuses. Update follows original story. After two weeks of suspended alcohol services on Dalhousie’s Halifax campuses, some questions have been answered, but students still have concerns. “In terms of their responses, I still don’t think it’s enough,” said student Maddie…
Mount Saint Vincent University: Believing in their Students
O riginally from Lebanon, Elsy Makhlouf left home in pursuit of a public relations degree at Mount Saint Vincent University (MSVU). Coming to Canada as an international student was an adjustment, but she never felt like a stranger at MSVU. “Professors supported me in every step along the way, and I was able to make…
Show review: Kaia Kater, Jennah Barry and Lydia Persaud baptized our ears at Halifax Pop Explosion
“I think church is my new favourite place,” said Lydia Persaud between songs. She was the first of three Pop Explosion acts to perform on at St. Mathew’s United church on October 25. It was a pleasant evening for the roughly 100-person audience sitting in the pews. Lydia Persaud, Jennah Barry and Kaia Kater each played…
Show review: Japanese Breakfast is a feast
Four bands from three provinces brought four dynamically different shows to the Marquee on Thursday, Oct 24th. As fans started to pour in, stash their coats and crack open a cold Olands, excited chatter about the anticipated bands could be heard around the bar. Toronto’s Doomsquad got the night off to an electric start. The…


