I’m not surprised that the fastest-growing group of “Twits” are
middle-aged, moderately successful urbanites. This group of over-40s
has come late into the whole social networking thing, and embraced the
simple one-liner broadcast style of Twitter: “Hey, this is great, I can
fiddle with my expensive new phone during meetings (booooring), in
front of cocktail waitresses (yesss, it IS a zebra-striped iPhone, a
little something I picked up in Munich), at movies (I always knew I’d
make a good critic), about politics (even Sarah Palin is a Twit) and
even moan about the parenting skills of others (you should see the way
these delinquents are dressed here at the mall)…”
The best part? Not only do these (pant)-suit wearing hipsters get to
finally “out-cool” (guffaw) their kids with their mastery of the snappy
one-liner, but unlike the sites the “kids” use, there are no pics
required (after all, Mommy was a size six in college), no songs to put
up (daddy never did get past a D-chord, he was too busy working on his
MBA) and no risk of a spousal extra-marital hook-up like that awful
Facebook!
The red sports car has been replaced by the furious tap-tap-tapping
of 40-to-50-year-olds as they sit on the commuter train, brimming with
anticipation at the kudos they’ll receive around the water-cooler for
their great zinger about the stupid punk kid with a bone through her
nose. You can hear the laughter and bask in the pre-appreciation of
your colleagues even as you type…tap-tap-tap.
Even your criticism of your children’s poor spelling has gone out
the window as you battle to fit a great stock tip you overheard at
Starbucks into 140 characters, a shoe-in to impress the boss. Yur so
Clv-r! —John Peer, Stillwater Lake
This article appears in Sep 3-9, 2009.