It’s been less than a week since Jian Ghomeshi was found not guilty on four counts of sexual assault and one count of choking. Sue Goyette and Erin Wunker, both instructors at Dalhousie University, were appalled by the verdict and decided to take matters into their own hands to give those in their community a safe space to talk. The result is Safe Harbour, a gathering at The Company House tonight at 5pm.
“I was dismayed at the message it gave to women who had been considering coming forward with their own experiences,” says Goyette of Ghomeshi’s acquittal. Wunker agrees: “If you’re someone who survived sexual assault, what you’re hearing is ‘nobody’s going to trust a survivor.’ Your experience is always going to be the thing on trial opposed to the experience itself.”
Award-winning poet Goyette and Wunker—co-founder of Hook & Eye: Fast Feminism, Slow Academe—know how important this sort of offline meeting is, because they organized one in 2014 when complaints about the CBC’s former star first came forward. “It’s a public facilitation of discussion in a safe space,” says Wunker.
According to Goyette, 97 percent of human communication is done non-verbally: “If someone is talking about their pain online, we miss the small little clues that are giving us the capacity and depth of that pain.” She believes a lot of people are “feeling right now,” making it hard for them to heal. “We can’t feel and think at the same time. It’s just not physically possible.” She says feelings are like a cloud, and once they are heard they dissipate, resulting in people feeling better and having the chance to properly heal. “We can’t act until our pain has been witnessed. That’s just an inevitable part of healing.”
Whether attendees are hoping to share their stories or quietly listen to others share their own, Safe Harbour is a place for feelings and inclusion. All are welcome to attend, no matter gender, age or experience. “My hope is that people feel heard,” says Wunker, “and that there is a bit of catharsis that comes from this conversation.”
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This article appears in Mar 24-30, 2016.
Marie Heinen is an eloquent proponent of the legal principles we live by.
The legal system is not there to be counsellors to those in pain. Those critical of the legal process would be good to remember that not all people who claim to be victimized actually have been.
I have known a woman who was falsely accused of assaulting a young boy. I have also known a man I worked closely with be accused-however there was never a time they were alone. As educators both men and women are in a position of trust and are also at higher risk of being accused.
The only thing that is hurting any future victims from coming forward is the amount of people making false accusations. They are the ones creating the distrust you speak of…I speak as a survivor of sexual assault, an educator and as a witness in two court cases. those cases involved students falsely accusing teachers (One eventually admitted this-the other case dropped by prosecutors after taking statements).
Please share your stories in a safe harbour…but remember the legal system is there to protect against being found guilty by an angry mob without facts. Imagine…at Dalhousie…there was one man lumped in with all the other accused from the dentistry department. But he had not said or done the same and was not charged. If we build a system where all it takes is for an accusation to be made…then we are all at risk. Someone somewhere will abuse this. I am more scared of a world like that than of discussing private details or being “re-traumatized” in a court of law. Especially since this is exactly what is happening to the accused.
What we need is an education system that discusses sexuality and relationships at early ages. This would create a generation of children less likely to be abusive or in abusive relationships. What we need are services to counsel and empower victims…so they become survivors and strong enough not to allow themselves to be revictimized.
What we don’t need are over-reactive one-sided lynch mobs creating legislation. Remember…it could be you, your brothers, fathers, sisters, mothers….if you are close to the accused…do you #blindlybeleivethevictims?
Did any of you people follow this circus of a trial or read the Judges verdict transcript?
None of these three women are victims or survivors of anything. They are guilty of lying, perjury, & collusion!!
I cant believe the amount of nonsense this case has brought up. Women seem to forget the man is innocent and the women in this case are liars. This is the evidence, not a man’s opinion.
If you want my support, stop the deception; otherwise, you will make a strong opponent. I don’t know if I should be pissed or just laugh at you all.
I have long held the Avalon Centre is high regard but seeing them jump on this shit-show bandwagon makes me question the leadership of the organization.
These are sad times for women everywhere and ya’ll are the cause.
THEY LIED WHILE UNDER OATH!!! PERIOD!!!!