I’m here. I’m not queer. But I am a PC user. Get used to it.
I’m outing myself as a non-Mac addict. You got a problem with that? If you own an Apple computer, you probably do. I’m not Macophobic. If you want to love Apple computers, fine. Just quit being so pushy about it, will you?
Mac users imagine their computers are better, something about simplicity and immunity to viruses. Mac users will have you believe Windows is unmanageable and eats files like German soldiers are supposed to have eaten babies during the war. They claim Macs never crash. (That’s the number one reason to switch from a PC to a Mac, according to apple.com. It’s also the number one most laughable thing I’ve ever heard.)
I’ve played for both teams—started with a Mac; switched to PC. Why? PCs work as well and they’re cheaper. But I’m not holier-than-thou about my computer orientation. Macs aren’t wrong; they’re different. In the spirit of tolerance, I’ve always refrained from proselytizing the PC way. (One thing though: ever notice you can get Virtual PC for Macs, but not the other way around? And another thing: what about the new partnership between Apple and Intel? I’m just sayin’…)
Still, I admit, I was closeted. I had PC shame. Or perhaps it was envy. I was covetous of how easy it is to be accepted as a Mac user.
That was last week. This is now.
My computer had to go into the hospital. Before you Mac users start screaming AH HA! understand this: it wasn’t the computer’s fault, but the cat’s. There was fur caught in the fan (which makes me wonder what the cat’s doing with the computer while I’m out). While my laptop was in the shop, my friend Colin offered to lend me his 17” iMac.
Before I knew it, Colin was at the door, offering to set it up. This must be how people get recruited to evangelical sects. Colin was all smiles, offering something genuinely delightful, just like the Hare Krishnas at Gatwick Airport who tried to get me come with them for a free vegetarian meal.
Colin admitted the next day, “I’m actually just trying to get you to become a Mac person.” He said it like he was concerned for my health, like he was trying to get me to start an exercise-and-vitamins regime.
I mulled it over. I daydreamed about the welcoming arms of my Mac-using friends, how delighted they’d be to finally welcome me into their cult. The Mac-lovers in my life wouldn’t have to be embarrassed anymore when they saw me working on my PC. “Is that a Toshiba?” someone once asked me in a meeting as I pulled my computer out to take a few notes. It was like I’d just peeled off my tank-top to reveal a third breast.
I admit, I secretly wanted to be a Mac owner. Macs are so goddamn SEXY. Even though my computer’s back from its short stay in the hospital, Colin’s hot iMac is still here. It’s beside me now, so beautiful with its round base and wide, swinging screen. Ahem.
Still, it’s just a status symbol and I know it. I’m not falling into the Mac trap. (And while we’re at it, I’m not getting Gmail either.) I’m through being a self-hating PC-user. I’m loud. I’m proud. Closets are for clothes and Windows is for me.
Defend your iPride: lezliel@thecoast.ca
This article appears in Apr 27 – May 3, 2006.
hang out at almost any of the cafes here in halifax and i think you will see you are alone in your sentiments. i work at one of these cafes and more and more of the customers, i can tell you, are using ibooks and powerbooks. by the way, in terms of your comments about virtual pc and there being nothing similar on the windows side: have you heard of cherry os or pearpc? finally, you’re not getting gmail either? what is it you dislike? is it the nearly 3 gigabytes of free storage, the easy to use mail search function, the convenient grouping of emails into “conversations” or the free pop3 access so you can use a program like outlook express or netscape to get your email right on your desktop? yeah geez, i can’t imagine why anyone would like gmail.
hang out at almost any of the cafes here in halifax and i think you will see you are alone in your sentiments. i work at one of these cafes and more and more of the customers, i can tell you, are using ibooks and powerbooks. by the way, in terms of your comments about virtual pc and there being nothing similar on the windows side: have you heard of cherry os or pearpc? finally, you’re not getting gmail either? what is it you dislike? is it the nearly 3 gigabytes of free storage, the easy to use mail search function, the convenient grouping of emails into “conversations” or the free pop3 access so you can use a program like outlook express or netscape to get your email right on your desktop? yeah geez, i can’t imagine why anyone would like gmail.
your article only stands to boost the mac ego. you praise my machine of choice while offering no pro pc standpoint. switch back to mac and be happy.
and about the virtual pc thing, windows was created to make pc’s more like macs. read your history
I agree with you completely, macs are all style no substance. Pc’s are bleeding edge, macs are just bleeding. why pay 3000+ for an intel dual core laptop from apple when you could of bought one last year for 1500 from anyone else? all macs are is a way for pretentious people to feel special. well you’re not. After all half the reason to own an apple is to be an elite asshole, now you dont even have that. Every other university student has one, how long until they’re passé, and realistically they are just bad pc’s now, intel processors, four usb ports only one firewire(dead tech. the ipod doesn’t even come with a firewire cable anymore), two button mice… mighty mouse? Why am I buying a 50 dollar mouse that isn’t even wireless? There is no hardware advantage to a mac, plus they have bizarre quirks that no one seems to notice or complain about, like if you don’t drag your thumb drive to the trash before you pull it out the mac thoughtfully erases it for you. And just in general there is far less freedom on a mac to shape the computer to fit your persona, the file system is their way or no way, the front end is really unintuitive if you run multiple windows(it is, just accept it) and when something new comes along? Upgrade? what’s that? Buy a new one. The things that are wrong with macs PC users wouldn’t put up with, macs are like English cars, they don’t start when it’s raining but people still line up to buy them gratefully, I mean, the operating system is called jaguar.