We went on 11 dates and talked every day in the past 1-2 months. I’m 31 years old and wanted to find someone to commit to. The fact that you were so interested in me but didn’t try to have sex with me on the first few dates led me to believe you were a respectable guy who was worth it. We slept together on the 11th date. Then suddenly, you pull a complete 180 and disappear! No reply to any of my texts/calls. Poof — gone! I originally thought something horrible happened to you. Then I discover that you’re back online fishing! You fooled me. I thought you were a stand-up guy, but I found out the hard way you’re another one of those pigs who only wanted to get into my pants, after all. If you wanted a one-night-stand, you should have made it clear on the first or second date, not the 11th! I can’t believe I wasted so much time on a fucking piece of shit like you. I hope you enjoy your whores, asshole. Fuck you! —Fucked and Chucked
This article appears in Jan 17-23, 2013.
Maybe he felt nothing and moved on, if you feel nothing on the physical side of the relationship why waste your time?
Bad Sex? That’s a possibility.
“I thought you were a stand-up guy, but I found out the hard way you’re another one of those pigs who only wanted to get into my pants, after all.”
I feel that I was subjected to this judgement when I tried online dating. It’s unfortunate that some douche-pigs have sullied the online dating experience, and now I feel most of the men using online dating are thought of as being just out for a quickie. It makes life difficult for the Captain, but, he sails ever onward.
Nothing wrong with feeling nothing, it happens … although 11 dates seems a bit much. It’s the just disappearing part that is spineless, shows a great lack of integrity (male or female) in my books. Count your blessings OP. You’ll be fine methinks.
I guess he wasn’t much of a man in many ways. He could have at least let you know it didn’t work out for him but I guess he didn’t have the balls to do even that. He sounds pretty deficient in the sex category in MANY Ways. Be thankful you dodged that bullet OP.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6p1n6sM…
Yes he was a pig but a patient pig.
Eleven dates and then he does his disappearing act after. Back on POF. Did something happen on this so intimate occasion? Eleven dates and two months suggests he had interest. Maybe a review of the events that transpired on that eleventh date needs to be done.
Hate to break it to you, but the sex probably wasn’t very good. “Pigs” looking for just ass and one-night-stands will not wait after 10 dates. Sorry.
Hmmm, OB what exactly are you trying to say ?
Would it be better to just fuck on date #1…so if yer just trying to get as many notches in the belt as possible its done & everyone moves on, or so if you or yer new partner find the sex isn’t better than self abuse you get it outta the way & move on .
THen of course perhaps he did like you & in the your evolving relationship you get to the intimate stage & you didn’t do it for him . That happens & it may suck because you were fine with it. But that changes nothing & wouldn’t you rather be done with a new relationship sooner instead of later ? ? ?
Whether the sex was bad or not is irrelevant to me. No one in this situation, male/female/otherwise, should stop all communication with someone after sleeping with them. It’s fucking ignorant and rude.
OP I would think that your more-than-ten-dates-over-multiple-months plan should allow you to weed out most of the dick bags, but apparently that isn’t fool proof. Maybe add another month in there or something and look up an old NSA plaything that you trust in the meantime.
Lady, it’s the era of the playa. The first one outta bed and out da door wins! Just give up on the soul-mate idea -brain up and get you a half dozen on rotate. If you think you’re gonna find a husband on plenty of fuckery, you livin’ in a dream world.
Should of waited until after the date at the altar of the church where the minister pronounced you married.
thewons …. I can see at least one reason to cut any further communication with someone …like finding out you just got an STD
Not sayin’ that happened, just responding to yer comment about ‘ no one should stop all communication’. that would sure cause me to have no further contact , had enough thanks ~;(
& personally I believe the guy who did this is an asshole & a stupid one at that ! THere is such a thing as common curtesy
the guy sounds very very scary. if he was genuinely interested for all that time, no way he would have been so horrified by whatever happened during your actual sexual episode that he would become a completely different person and just disappear. therefore, he was playing you the whole time, and deliberately drawing it out as long as possible, to get you as emotionally involved as possible to increase the hurt. if he was just trying to ‘get into your pants’, then he would have disappeared after 1-2 dates, as others have said. this guy is mean. and manipulating and calculating.
I can see this both ways, like GDM says for example…if he put in the time to get to know you for 11 dates and then suddenly disappears, well, that’s disrespectful to say the least. Was there a clear understanding of these encounters being dates? Over what time-span did these dates happen, as in what were the intervals between the dates? Did he seem interested or do you think you were just reaching for something?
It’s also possible that like wilcox said, there was no spark and he just didn’t feel anything. Even if that’s true he should have had the common decency to say so. Maybe he didn’t want to hurt your feelings or maybe he’s just a coward.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Online Dating is no good.
Sounds like someone is a “starfish” for a lay. Maybe he wants more than to hump away at a warm, wet, manequin.
I’m with GDM. Anything over … hmmm I’d say 3 dates is just cruel. I mean, life happens sometimes … but there must be interest to get to date 3 and beyond … if the person just up and disappears then that’s just weird and calculating. 11 dates in 1-2 months is 1 a week with some having more than 1 … that’s a fair amount. Maybe he was married or otherwise committed? This behavior is so odd to me … do people not have a conscience? At the very least send an email! I’m getting angry for OP. Lol.
Like my late mater used to say: ‘A stiff prick has no conscience.’ What a shit – thank fuck you’re shed of his sorry, cowardly arse. Let him be some other woman’s problem.
Steve that’s funny.A “starfish” lay.I never heard that phrase before.
How’s your new puppy?Is she getting along with Dukie?
If this isn’t a reason to stay single….
“I hope you enjoy your whores, asshole.”
Um, someone wanna burst her bubble?
Always 2 sides to every story…would love to hear why he darted after the sex…….?? He stayed with her for 2 months and 11 dates…..??
The guy’s wife may be in the military and came back….Christ knows some military wives fuck around so do some military husbands.
Still why would the guy put in that time and money(?) on the girl for a one night stand?
…OP- Did he ask you to do his laundry or make him a sammich??
Maybe he is just really, really shitty at being a player?