Going with the intent of not getting slammered…I went to a party and got slammered. I then participated in said stoopid drunken German beer game of opening every beer a different way. Not happy enough that the guy who opened one with a single chopstick already cut his hand trying to open the next with a lone bottle cap, I gave it a whirl or two. Luckily not bleeding throughout the entire night, I managed to clot about three hours later. Now I get a nice sting every damn time I reach into my pocket for change.
I still think it can be done though. You’re welcome to try. —Exzisting DigitZ Ripped to Shredz
This article appears in Feb 18-24, 2010.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Ok , who wrote this!
Sounds like one hell of a party!
Could Falling Angel open one with her cleavage? Or her…
slammered?, what the fuck is that, is it like hammered or pissed eyed drunk. hmmm, methinks you might have hads a tad too much of the plant. anyway, what you got against the german beer gardens? they can be fun, if you’re not such a douche.
Haha, zZz, way to go!
But seriously, do people still carry change around?
unfortunately…
angels, you didn’t know who this was?!?!?
you were 4 feet away…
anyhoo… you got him back for me with the knuckles game later on.
hahahaha true that, kicked his ass lol
Yeah, I figured it was you all the same.
Was a post deleted, or is jennifer who I think it is?
naw, I just always sign my posts with my zZz spaced out in the OP spot so people still know it’s me… if they’re regulars anyways.
no-one else usually has a capital Z in their op spot.
I will call a fake though if someone tries to pass off as me.
I’ll rip on you unmercifully… so beware.
I have a bag of rabid gophers right here in my holster… don’t make me use ’em.
Ahh, it was around 1 in the morning when I read that so didn’t even notice.
oh god…. yeah, one of my few moments of clarity came to reveal both of you, blood dripping from your knuckes… and then I thought to myself- where am I?
And how was it that I chose not to play, but still had you losers smash and break part of my beer bottle every time I got a new one? I don’t think it is the stoopid German beer game that was the problem… just the stoopid German and non-German that attempted to play. HAHAHAHA
no attempted about it there chico.
we rocked it hardcore.
I missed the one that broke the entire top off (cap and all) though.
would have liked to see it.
what was used for it?
anyone remember?
L O L
I remember that one zZz, I was outside and he challenged me to open the bottle using only the brick wall. I told him to do it without breaking the bottle and I would try.
Tried it, and smash…top of the bottle gone.
Oh good times.
Did this all take place at the rumoured (now-legendary) LTWWB party?
Just wow. You losers are really something else.
I guess it’s never too late to find happiness, however pathetic you may be.
Live on bitch parties!
yep, that was MY beer…. well, would have been my beer if the bottom hadn’t have been smashed. And our german friend’s response? “I’ll just get you another one….”
And yes hali, there JUST may be hope for you. Don’t give up on your dreams.
Right, because I was at a “party” getting slammered (oh hi, i’m 15) with other adults who met on an internet forum strictly for complaints who acts like a bunch of teens who can’t handle their liquor. YOU SMASHED A BEER BOTTLE ON A BRICK WALL THEN DRANK FROM IT!? LIKE OMG!
Think of how fucking stupid you all must of looked. You make my work easier though. Just keep firing off reminders of how pathetic the majority of you people here are.
“And yes hali, there JUST may be hope for you. Don’t give up on your dreams.”
Good one man. Ya got me good there.
oh praise Hali… for I have seen the light.
never again will I be amongst all those sinners who drink to socialize and meet people and recall interesting times.
fyi, he lived there.. he can smash beer bottles if he wants.
I wouldn’t, but wouldn’t have minded seeing it.
and being 15, I didn’t expect you to understand.
Life is shit so when you actually get to have friends to hang with and not care about money and stress and all the heavy burdens of life (not taken care for by mommy and daddy) then yeah, it’s saturday so we ripped it up.
I know exactly how and who you are… I WAS you.
first beer was @ my high school prom and I could barely finish the swill.
bursaries, awards, governer general medal, scholarships, and a double major with a minor.
now that I’m on my own and able to enjoy life… maybe get a little tipsy on sat night with friends… all in good fun.
talk to me in another 15 years and we’ll see where you are and what you’re fucking doing.
LOL. Too damn funny.
LOL, I love how you call everyone on this forum pathetic..does that include you?
Chill out, you might find life treats you better.
You are so dramatic. lol
At least you know where you stand. Keep writing your long winded responses. At the end of the day, this is your life in your own words:
“I went to a party and got slammered. I then participated in said stoopid drunken German beer game of opening every beer a different way. Not happy enough that the guy who opened one with a single chopstick already cut his hand trying to open the next with a lone bottle cap, I gave it a whirl or two. Luckily not bleeding throughout the entire night, I managed to clot about three hours later. Now I get a nice sting every damn time I reach into my pocket for change.”
You’re right, sounds like you made it big.
Glad that you’re making the most of the fact that you’re “on your own and able to enjoy life”.
Oh and by the way, if you had learned to apply yourself at the same time most ppl tend to, as opposed to late in your life. You could of avoided this:
“Life is shit so when you actually get to have friends to hang with and not care about money and stress and all the heavy burdens of life”
You’re so bitter, it’s pathetic. (but you already know that)
Keep bragging about all your medals and awards… to strangers… anonymously on the internet of course, it’s clearly taken you a long way in life.
“LOL, I love how you call everyone on this forum pathetic..does that include you?”
Nope, just the posters who met on a complaint board and now get slammered together.
You wouldn’t sink that low though, right? I’m sure you have real friends that you met in the real world with real common interests besides complaining, right?
Dam straight it has I’m a fucking Olympic gold medalist!
Dramatic, yet you are the one saying shit. fuck tard.
Pathetic cause I go out and have fun o well. Donkey Raper.
Oh, and avoid what exactly. Reusable douchebag.
Finally, who exactly is bitter, me who just went out and made some cool new friends, or you..anonymous hypocritical buttmuncher.
And there goes any dignity I had on this forum. LOL O well I was bored.
yup, you got me, I’m a complete fucking loner in this world.
No real friends *sigh*
well we all can’t be as perfect as you there lotus petal.
you’ve never had a bad weekend?
no? oh to be perfect and invincible @ 15.
If only we ALL could be so lucky.
at least I can joke about it and try to invite some decent banter.
you kind of got the bitter part right…
it’s not quite pathetic, but I am bitter at times.
name a person who isn’t and I’ll give you a cookie shaped like jebus.
that was directed at the oh-so-perfect, prim and proper hali, whom we all strive to be like.
and donkey raper is now in my vocab.
lol, classy eh?
Seriously?
Damnit! I missed another one! Where are these taking place?!
And FallenAngel, I’ll be your friend… Does this drink taste like roofies to you? LOL
L O L @ Mind Snap
Sorry Balls, I couldn’t resist having an immature moment.
All in good fun as I highly doubt hali takes any of it serious.
and we can list any credentials we want…
I was half dog growing up but had a risky operation in kenya and made a full recovery.
I then went on to be the first ever pole-vault winner without using a pole-vault…
and finally migrated here to bring the electric blanket mobile to western civilization.
I also invented sugar smacks and hold the world record for eating the most indian rubber bouncing balls.
seriously.
Looks like having a little too much fun is offensive to some people here…. as well as meeting people. Should we really all be so closed-minded as to not think they anyone out there could be a potential friend?
You know, Hali, looking back over some of your posts you really don’t have a lot of productiveness or positivity in what you say. In fact, very little of it actually contains intelligence (and when it does, it is usually enclosed with quotes from other posts…) I am not saying that hosting parties which invite my friends and guests to get silly and drink a couple too many beer is productive on a regular basis. You know what though? I spent Saturday evening with a lot of people I became friends with and others I simply made another memory with. Monday morning, we are all back to our lives, being productive and continuing to be the decent people everyone knows us to be.
Seriously, what is your purpose for posting on this site? Are you bored? Did someone leave a flaming bag of doggie poop on your doorstep one too many times? I apologize PROFUSELY that you can’t seem to shake off the negativity long enough to, perhaps, enjoy a little immaturity…. or to go out of your comfort zone and assume that if someone you met ONLINE (heaven forbid) seems like someone you’d like to meet then you can.
So go on with your irrelevant posting. Enjoy your serious life…. wherever the hell it takes you…. and if you really are that bitter and are looking for an out…. maybe I’ll host a party exclusively in your honor. We can flush the bug we pulled out of your ass down the toilet.
that would be an awesome party…. it would be a costume party and we would dress like the biggest shithead we can think of.
oh, btw, I was knighted as well… she was going to knight Elton John, but I pushed him out the way and the bitch stabbed me in the shoulder. that counts, right?
so that’s Sir zZz to you.
I need to find this mythical drinking hole… My house is getting a little boring, and it’s be nice to have a drink without cat fur in it lol
I am so thankful I have z around to be my voice of reason….haha. And yo, zorro, i believe you’d only have been knighted if Lizzie had accidentally stabbed both shoulders
Say… Isn’t St. Patty’s Day comin up???
yum, cat fur lol. When is St Patty’s Day anyway?
Wednesday March 17
shit.. you mean I have to get stabbed again?!?!?
meh, small price to pay I guess….
she’s headed here soon enough. I’ll be the happy queeny stabbing victim in the herald in case anyone’s wondering.
fyi, I’d be dressed like ben mulroney at that shithead party.
if it’s paddy’s… hmm, have to think about that one.
zZz… I’ll stab ya, but that’d jus be for my sadistic entertainment… You wouldn’t get knighted, but you’d have a scar, and possibly an interesting story…
Funny you mention it. My roomies actually have planned a St. Paddy’s Day party at the house. Only, it is the night of St. Paddy’s Day. Meh, you know what they say, if you can’t beat’em, join’em.
Oh, and I have been allocated unlimited guest spots……. 😉
MS, maybe you could stab zZz with the broken neck of a beer bottle after you’ve smashed it off the side of my house…..
How about I smash the bottle over zZz’s head, THEN stab him? HAHA
…oh time to take my medication… j/k
ok now… I don’t want to hog ALL the fun here….
let’s share all the stabbing and bottle breaking goodness around.
what would my title be Mind Snap after you’ve stabbed me?
and don’t say “shank”… cause shank zZz doesn’t have a good tone and I wouldn’t want to be presented to anyone who’s been to prison…. or the melvins.
Hmmm…We’ll figure the title out after the scar has formed :p
what do you want to bet this is printed thursday?
how many bitches do you get like this one?
Hahaha… this was printed… Thanks new moderator guy!
Hah, did you say this was printed Jonno? That’s awesome.
indeed it was…. now everyone can enjoy zZz’s oh so eloquent account of the night’s events…..LMAO
woot! idiocy is immortalized!