Seriously, what is the point of eating corn? As far as I can tell it comes out the other end still intact. If you don’t break down and let me absorb some nutrients from you I’m gonna punch you in the face you yellow bastards! Same goes to you peanuts!! —Wholly Shit

This article appears in Aug 25-31, 2011.

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55 Comments

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  3. It’s just the casing that doesn’t digest. It then fills with poop. You have digested the remainder of the corn.

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  4. Jesus Fuck, you must eat like a goddamn seagull – try grinding together those 32 pearlies in your dumb gob.

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  6. Do you not find it miraculous that corn and peanuts should be divided and eaten, and still be whole enough for yet another feast?

    I say unto you that, yes, even your shit is holy, as holy as the ground you walk upon or the air you breath.

    You do not question these things. Therefore I say unto you, do not question the miracle of the corn and the peanuts and you shall never hunger again.

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  7. Same with those popcorn sheathes that sometimes stick between your teeth. They can make it through as well.

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  11. you’re sposed to chew the fuck out of it o.p., but sometimes, even that doesn’t help. been there, did it.

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  12. Apparently you can’t digest the casing of the corn and it fills up with poop and other materials in the digestive process and just looks like it’s whole corn.

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  13. with raw corn being inedible and cooked corn leaching out all the nutritional properties…
    there isn’t a whole lot left other than a few calories and a lot of ‘roughage’.
    unless you’re looking to simply feel full or just really enjoy the taste (as do I)
    you may as well not even bother.
    you’re likely getting plenty of corn derivatives in your diet anyways….
    HFCS is in a shit load of foods.

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  14. 6 ears of corn for $2. Yup, me real value in that. Don’t waste your money. On a good note, it gives the seagulls something to eat in the harbour when it comes out.

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  16. actually corn is toxic. So are peanuts. So is wheat. None of them are genetically suited to the human diet.

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  17. I like corn. I don’t care if it’s not good for me. Neither is the beer and cigarette I am washing it down with.
    Please….Not good for you? Not digestable? Toxic? Who gives a fuck? If you like it, eat it.
    And to Christ the Redeemer?? Really? Fuck off.

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  22. Ah, bacon – is there anything it can’t do. Greetings from Upper Canada , bitchers. Me folks have become, like, time share owners of one of the neighbor’s dogs. A great big, scooshy-faced mooch dog, Shepherd/malemute mix named Ruger who comes to the door every morning for treats and patting. Pretty damned sweet
    Also, I may have colo-rectal cancer. NO WAIT! It’s the borscht. >; ) *Rawk*

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  23. hay, i miss you allready^^haha, the beet poops and a dog…living large. have you met the redeemer?

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  24. I’ve been enjoying his homilies. I figured it was only a matter of time til our rampant blasphemy attracted the notice of a “Higher Power”
    This morning I was taking my morning coffee on the deck with 2 dogs, neither of whom live here. And the emaciated stray cat they rescued a couple of years ago – looks like a Star Wars creature. Tiny little calico head on a perfectly spherical body as wide as it is long. No tail and only vestigial legs. Some mothers do ‘ave ’em.

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  25. Borscht is stinky!

    But, probably better than my dinner: a tube of dextrose gel, a dole fruit pack and an apple and some peanut butter. I’m trying to be super strict with the insulin regime lately and it’s fucking me in the ass harder than that jar of jelly re: seb’s ass. Blech.

    And I’m craving a poptart something WICKED. A fruit one… not one of those dumb chocolate or smores ones. All toasted and shit. Mmmmmm.

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  27. You think borscht is stinky, tonite’s bill of fare was cabbage rolls. Surprising how a leaf that essentially smells like a drainpipe when cooked can taste so damned good when wrapped around rice and little cubits of rendered salt pork. And for dessert, fresh peach pie. My pancreas can go fuck himself.

    Snoob – I think it’s a Ka-rasher-nikov assault rifle.

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  33. Good god!!! That’s just wrong! Except maybe the panini. Or I’m just really hungry. No – I’ll have the panini.

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  35. I know what you’ve been up to nice girl. Trust me when I say to you that Our Father still loves you no matter what. Are you not His creation? Do you think He would set aside His love for you?

    Be comforted in the knowledge that He knows the least things about you, like how often you pick your nose and flick it into the corner behind the stereo when you are alone and yet He will always love you for it.

    Don’t worry about the beer and the cigarettes and the corn. It will all come out in the wash.

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  38. AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH, TTFN.
    I was half way through posting a joke, when I googled the fuck.
    He’s in Tyler hospital, Galveston, because he deliberately fucked up his diet and aggravated a medical condition. FUCK FUCK FUCK, THERE IS NO JUSTICE.

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  39. I say throw him in with the rest of the inmates. After he’s got a bunghole the size of a breadbox, he should be jammed with Stove Top stuffing and BBQed for the guard dogs.

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  42. I’ve made it before, (being from PEI lol) and it is awesome! mmmmm…I want a piece like, now!
    Little tip, make sure your spuds are sliced as thin as possible and don’t make it too big/thick cuz biting into a semi-raw tater is kinda gross. lol

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  43. JC – Is it not in the Deity Manual of Style that you are not to use contractions? Now I am getting suspicious….

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  53. Goats have rectangular pupils! They’re very entertaining too! And Baaaaad. What’s up on Bayers?

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  54. it’s backed up to agricola, don’t know what’s up…luckily i’ve got my trusty two-wheeled steed

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