I have a speech impediment that causes me to pronounce certain words like the beloved cartoon character Elmer Fudd. You know, pronouncing R and L sounds like W ones.
As fucked up as it is, I’ve been rejected a few times because of this! I went on two dates with a woman I met through my brother, then never heard from her again. Apparently she told my brother she couldn’t get past the way I talked. Then recently, I met this girl from Match.com in person after emailing and texting her for a month. We hit it off online and she found me physically attractive. When she met me she had a smile from ear to ear and and let out an excited “hey!”…. but then I spoke. When I asked her “How was youw day? This is my fowst time at this pwace” her smile went away. We hung out for 20 mins and the whole time I talked, she seemed disinterested. Then she left and I never heard from her again. She stopped texting me back and blocked me on Match. I even had another woman flat out tell me to “stop talking like that” when we were out on our first date.
Three completely different women– rejecting me because of something I can’t control. I’m a good-looking, well employed, funny, friendly guy and yet because of this speech impediment I can’t get a girl. What the fuck! —Be vewy vewy qwiet, you wasically wabbits
This article appears in Feb 12-18, 2015.
Get a gig as lead singer for a novelty band.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cd3KB5Z39v…
You’d be amazed/appalled at the amount of klunge pulled by Weird Al Yankovic when he’s on tour.
Learn sign language and find a hearing impaired lady.
So, why would you want someone who judges you based your speech? Alternatively, turn it around somehow… tell them your stuttering makes you really good at eating pussy. Women like that, right?
Sounds to me like you’re just weaning out the weak. Ya really want a bunch’a shallow bitches like that around anyhow? It’s like picking out a good porno, ya gotta view a few before ya find one ya like.
You know there are speech therapists, right Elmer? It is controllable if you are willing to spend the time and money to “improve” yourself. In the world of internet dating, less than perfection is unacceptable and a replacement is only an email away. Just find yourself a nice little chubby chick with low self esteem, problem solved. Fuck those uppity bitches that worry about what their shitty, shallow friends think.
Find a ventriloquist with an English accent.
Don’t waste your time texting a girl for a month, let them know earlier that you have a speech impediment (don’t make a big deal out of it, but let them know). That way you don’t waste your time on girls who are shallow and you can spend your time and effort courting cool ladies!
Raw deal man, jgoreham has some good advice, just be up front about it.
Put youh sowitude to good use, Bawwy. Time to design a Kiwwah Wobot an weak a tewwibuh wengeance on these shawwoh bitchez.
I’m sorry, I just couldn’t resist >: (
agree with Gorham (you related to gorhams in bda???)
be upfront about it, you have to accept it IS going to be an issue for some people.
just like ‘chubby chicks’ should not post pics of themselves 20 pounds ago because some ‘uppity’ men worry about what their shitty, shallow friends think. nudge nudge, wink wink.
it’s not necessarily shallow to be so distracted by that speech impediment that one is unwilling to date that person. everyone has their own thing. I was in a relationship with someone who had a foot amputated after an accident. wasn’t the slightest issue for me, but some people would be very freaked out, deeply, by that. the speech impediment would bother me. I am a verbal person. southern accents bother me. I always think they are hillbillies, despite multiple degrees.
if you can get this fixed op, you should do so.
OB, might I suggest:
– look into speech therapy…not for others but to decrease your own anxiety. A friend of mine was able to overcome a really bad stuttering problem and was less shy about speaking to new people as a result.
– online dating sounds like nasty business. Try enrolling in classes, volunteering and doing activities like co-ed recreational sports as a way to meet people. I always find that when people get to know and like someone they become more attractive. On the contrary, meeting up in person with someone you met online and making a snap judgement as to whether you want to pursue a relationship sounds really brutal to me.
Good luck. Remember, there’s a lid for every pot!
Start a speech impediment dating site. You can bet you’re not alone.
WOTFLMAO
That’s rough dude… parents should get the speech therapy going as soon as they can.
Sounds like you got a bum deal.
On the other hand, think of all the $$$$ you’ll be saving not having to date.
An excellent point again, Willard.
“How was youw day? This is my fowst time at this pwace”
I can see why no one wants to date you. That would be very annoying.
bring a speak and spell with you…. they’re adorable.
I agree that speech therapy might give you the verbal skills you seek.
Oh, and online dating just sounds like torturous exercise, no matter who you are. Attraction is chemical, intellectual, physical, and emotional–not a list of attributes or a profile photo.
OB have you tried , whiting the way you usuawy speak ?
When someone asks you . Why do you write like that ?
You can teww them you’we tawe of woe .
I’m sorry but it is humourous to read this bitch, I can see it pissing you off personally. But from an outsiders perspective it’s funny.
That’s too bad OP, I can’t imagine having to deal with that. Speech therapy is the obvious answer. A speech impediment is distracting to people at no fault to the one with the impediment. It can act as an impediment in life as your dating forays are showing. In a perfect world it shouldn’t matter but this is far from a perfect world.
OP, I really am sorry for my comment @10:10 am.
If I absolutely had to make a Barry Kripke reference, I could and should have done it without mocking the way you speak. That was just mean.
If it’s any consolation, I too had a difficult time finding someone when I was in my 20’s. My “disability” was that I was an unlikeable asshole. Prolly still am >; )
From the way you write, I can tell that you do have a sense of humour. You will eventually find that it works wonders in finding the right person. At least it did, for me.
Once again, sorry for being a minger.