Dear generic white-walls-and-beechwood cafe, it was me who stole/rescued two of your sad-looking succulents—and you’ll be glad to know they are revived and currently thriving. Between your slick IKEA-style decor and boring local photography the place looks like a neglected hospice for dying plants and I had to do something about it. So thanks!
—Compulsive plant hoarder
This article appears in Nov 8-14, 2018.
Like cactii, succulents require little water. Savior? More like a theif.
“Boring local photography”??
Judge lest ye be judged. A-hole.
That’s a rather cowardly approach to take the things that you don’t like. That you’re pompous and a thief makes me wonder if you are a hipster… are you?
Time to report this to the police 😉
So, you stole something that was handmade by me from the generic cafe which happens to be a place I frequent often and happens to be important to me. That plant (which I propogated myself from a plant of my own) and planter was a gift from me for that cafes second anniversary. Regardless of your view on the state of the plant you had no right to take something that was not yours, and you were wrong to assume its absence would not be noticed. I implore you to return this piece that I made with my own hands to its rightful owners. Do the right thing.