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This summer i plan on ignoring the fact that i have wobbly arms
and cellulite-ridden thighs.
This means comfortable and slutty dressing (ahoy!).
To the ogre who prowls agricola in your presumably musty mini van:
IT AINTCHA BUSINESS, please keep all obscene gargles to yourself.
—Happily Ho-ish
This article appears in Mar 26 – Apr 1, 2009.
25 Comments
If you’re gonna look like a two bit hooker, then you’ll have to suck up the suggestive remarks to be enveloped by your cottage cheese thighs.
heh….gargles
Why don’t you work out. That way you can feel more confident about wearing hoe-ish clothing.
…or get a sausage casing and hold it all in – but Gawd help ya when you cut free – orange peel rinds of skin will explode everywhere.
pick a fold.
What’s behind fold number 3?
All you fuckin shitheads keep it to yourself. when i see a guy walking down the street with his shirt off, I don’t think he’s a fat slut. Comfort is much more important than giving a fuck what all you bitter assholes in longsleeves staring at your computer think. And if its hot, and I were to wear a dress, I think its my right (as well as the OPs) to be offending by a slivering, gargling man, regardless of the state of my arm fat. Fuck.
Idiots.
There’s cake morsels and shake and bake behind fold number 3.
Can someone enlighten me to what exactly the OP is bitching about? I’ve read this post over three times and still can’t derive the exact meaning of it.
This baggy-armed bitch can fly!
Dino, you’re a retard. She’s hot. Therefore will wear a dress. There is an obscene man on agricola street who gargles at passersby.
I was actually imagining some cotton hot pants and a tube top.
Ouch leek! that just sizzled my skin! By the by, I resent your use of ‘retard’ as a derogatory insult. Let me know when all that hot air backs up into your inflated brain and you turn into a vegetable.
Mole Rat – lawl, I was imagining the same thing.
No, leek, the OP will look like a fat slut when she dresses in the aforementioned slutty clothes she will purposely be dressing in. And if comfort is more important than caring what people think, why the hell are you going to get offended by someone “gargling”?
I think the OP’s just saving us the trouble of creating a summer bitch about her wearing “slutty” clothes when she’s not exactly a supermodel.
In a way, the OP did us a all a service 😉
how exactly does one gargle at someone else?
am I picturing it right?
gargling, like when you’re getting the back of your mouth while rinsing with mouth wash?
that can’t be right…
and I think people are confusing smokin’ type hot with warm-feeling type hot.
She’s warm and wants to wear a dress so she will be cooler on her walk to McD’s for 3 big macs and a large fry.
I’m picturing her as the female version of Robert Reiner from south park.
This thread makes me lol. I’m 26, my weight is steady at 120 lbs. whether I do anything about it or not, and I still have cellulite. Cellulite is something that just happens, and it was framed as a “disease” in the 70s when people figured out they could sell expensive cellulite creams that didn’t and still don’t work.
As for the OP being a fat cow, well I guess it depends on who’s looking at her. Myself, I don’t mind a bit of extra meat on the bones, and I don’t automatically think someone’s a slut if they’re showing cleav. Maybe they just find boob sweat uncomfortable.
Then again if you’re a generously proportioned woman walking down Agricola with the aforementioned tube top and hot pants on, you are probably either a courageous rebel or just really into self-flagellation. The OP neglected to provide details of her gargley garb.
Because when I see an overweight female wearing slutty clothes, I immediately reach for the Scope. Gargle on that.
As long as your not morbidly obese you can find clothing that fits and looks good on your body type. Also you can make friends with salad.
Haha, “cake morsels and shake and bake behind fold number 3.” Too funny.
Unless you’re massively overweight and will frighten the general population while prowling around with various body segments hang out of a tight dress – go for it.
Please eat a salad and stay home if you’re an urban buffalo trying to dress like a size 2. Please. I’m sick of looking at you people.
To repeat:
I *heart* TTFN.
And *barf*
I *heart* TTFN’s barf
that’s good some wholesome hash-brownie-filled barf, so you will be sure to enjoy.
*ralf*
er, “that’s some good…”