Phone zombie! Why do you walk around crowded busy streets staring at your phone? Phone Zombie! You are a hazard to yourself and the general public at large. And you not only look like an insecure fool, you are an embarrassment to the human race at large. Perhaps stopping and moving out of the way of others would be a better approach to communications? It’s illegal to drive and operate your phone. Why not elsewhere too? Phone zombie! You got to go!
—Enema Bandit
This article appears in Sep 12-18, 2019.