Where did all of the good women go?
That is the “nice guys'” repeating motto.
We are still here, I tell you true;
but nice is not how we shall see you.
We have grown up, looking for more,
but what we’ve found, we avoid for sure.
You might be great, but the problem, see,
is first impressions are the key.
So here is what I’ve found to be,
the most annoying to single ladies:
No written words, one single photo,
with a left swipe, that’s where you’ll go.
You’ve lots of friends, this I can see,
but group pics are no way to be,
my eye may catch, but in the end,
it could be you, or your best friend.
If I don’t know, or cannot tell,
I’ll soon give up: left swipe, farewell!
So dial it down to only one man
(preferably you. No catfish scam).
All us women love a pretty view,
So give us lots of pics to go through!
So now you have more than one pic
and it’s just you and you look slick,
there are more things you should consider
when choosing pics that will deliver.
We want to see the real you,
don’t hide your face with angles, dude.
Stop with all the pictures of back tattoos,
please be in focus and not in costume.
We wish more smiles were on your face
and less sunglasses in every place
and no more shirtless bathroom pics,
no more bar photos with drunk chicks.
Are you trying to flip me the bird?
It is unclear and just absurd
and who is that child? Can you explain?
Shown only once, never mentioned again!?
It’s fine to say at a later date,
Just don’t show the kid, that would be great.
It’s cool that you go to the gym a lot
but cocky is how those pics come across.
I promise that we can see you’re fit,
no need to draw attention to it.
And please write something, ANYTHING will do!
Your profile helps us learn about you.
Say something relatable and true,
who knows? I could relate to it too.
But lying helps neither of us,
so don’t do that, it’s a big plus.
And keep it light and positive,
no one wants to talk when you’re negative.
It’s fine to start with a “Hello,”
show interest and conversations flow
but if it is not meant to be,
just say goodbye (and politely).
Don’t call me ugly, fat or rude,
don’t Casper me, like children do,
don’t make it harder than it has to be,
and try not to take it personally.
Dating is hard in a city this small,
it’s not Pokémon, you can’t catch us all.
We’re all still learning, this game is new
and harder than it should be, too.
You want respect, not to waste your time,
so give it back and don’t waste mine.
I know we’ll learn along the way,
so be honest and kind and seek what you say.
—Single Women Everywhere
This article appears in Feb 8-14, 2018.
Sounds like someones on the fucking rag. 😉
“For Men”….because women never do any of these things when dating online.
FFS
That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my entire life.
So here’s the deal lady….you need to accept the fact that the only way you’re going to be able to date is to date other women, because that’s the only way you’re going to find someone (possibly) who could even begin to comprehend or care what you’re going on about.
Don’t waste men’s time with this drivel because they DON’T CARE about your emotional instabilities and are simply going to walk away from it. Life is too short.
And if I understand correctly (although your “poem” certainly isn’t designed to be clear) you were trying to find a “husband online”. Um no. We all know that online dating sites are a meat market. That’s old news. So if you’re too lazy to go out and meet people the old fashioned way you are ABSOLUTELY going to continue to be disappointed.
Bwahahaha!
Well that poem was brutal. But the advice is sound. And I would say it also applies to women. If you actually want to get matches (especially ones that go somewhere):
– Have more than one pic
– Don’t make me guess which one you are from a bunch of group photos
– Write something in the bio. And something better than “I like adventures”. You don’t need to spill your whole life story, but give me something to kick off the conversation.
– Leave out the kid pics. I don’t care that you have kids, but I want to date you, not them. And honestly, it’s a pretty shitty thing to do to the kid (how pissed would you be if you found out you were in your parent’s dating profile) and makes me think you have poor judgement. If you feel like the kid is important to your dating situation, just mention it in the bio.
– And yeah, ditch the duck face, the filters, etc.
– Don’t be a dick
– Ghosting sucks. Especially if the conversation has gone past the intros. It’s fine to say “this isn’t working for me, good luck in your searches!”
@Try_The_Truth: Wow, way to totally misread all of that. OP is giving some basic tips on how to make yourself more desirable in the meat market, not being emotionally unstable.
You can meet decent people just about anywhere. But, if you are looking for someone longterm then don’t get too involved until you meet their friends. If they’ve lived here for a while and don’t have friends, they don’t seem to want to introduce you to their friends, or you meet their friends and don’t like them (birds of a feather) then consider those red flags.