I love the smell of your butt hole (seriously, what’s up with that?) and that you treat me like a princess even though I cry all the time (princesses are allowed to cry, right?) and that I don’t care if the world burns in carbon hell as long as we are together. You and that perfect butt make life amazing. I love you.
—The spider queen
This article appears in Oct 18-24, 2018.
You love the smell of butthole? Now that’s romance!