As the sexy, single vixen that I am, I get approached quite often by men. One would think these eager men are single. Nope! They never are. I will ask them straight to their face, are you married? No, they say. They claim to be single, but I am a Google detective and I always find out otherwise.
They think they’re being smart, but there’s always a tip off: They can’t give you their cell phone numer because it’s a “work phone”. They won’t tell you where they live or invite you over. Some guys will even give you a fake name. (Hint: Search by email address.) They want to come over and not go out on a public date. When you say, “No you can’t come over, not on the first date,” They try to hide you away somewhere private, like a walking trail in the woods, posing as some granola nature boy. All the while trying to get some booty in the bushes. After a little tinkering around online, I always find a wife or girlfriend and kids on a Facebook page. This has happened so many times, I cannot even count.
When I find out the secret life that these men have hidden away, I usually blast the guy and then just bow out quietly. But, I’m gettin greally sick of doing that, because who is that helping? These pigs just go out and do this shit again to their wifes and to other single women. After I called one guy out, he actually begged, “Please have mercy”. (Okay there, Jessie from Full House). You did not deserve mercy for me when you lied to me and tried to use me as your own personal sperm receptacle.
Did you have mercy when you wasted my time emailing me back and forth and calling me on the phone for weeks, arranging bogus dates? Where is the mercy for the beautiful wife at home taking care of your kids while you’re out running around wasting single women’s time? The next motherfucker that steps to me and I find out he’s married, I’m gonna have NO MERCY! I’m gonna fuck up your whole entire world.
Take this as a warning, philandering married dudes of Halifax. The next time one of you approaches me and lies to my face, I will be messaging your lovely wives directly to tell them all about your cheating and lies and forwarding them the proof.
Time’s up, bitches! I will no longer stay silent, letting you scurry away unscathed. Doing that would be doing a disservice to women, to myself, and to the sisterhood. I deserve to meet a single man with integrity, not married scum. I am a woman, not your whore, and I am worthy of sincerity. So is your wife. Women shouldn’t have to become Google detectives, constantly doing due diligence checks. Get control of your wayward phalluses—there are human beings attached to the vaginas you hunt.
My vagina is angry! I hope your wives divorce you, buries your ass in court and rides that alimony pony for the next 18 years. Like Zsa Zsa Gabour always said, “Ladies, don’t get mad, get everything!” Hit em where it hurts: Their wallets. Pay the piper! Take heed motherfuckers and go buy some lotion.
—The Sisterhood
This article appears in Jun 21-27, 2018.
LOL I am so glad I have found my lovely future wife (whom I would never in 100,000,000 years run around on) and no longer have to interact with people like OP.
PS The Sisterhood calls the cops on black people, goes on racist tirades against immigrants in Albertan Dennys, and includes Sarah Sanders, O holy one.
YASSS QUEEN!!! The sisterhood gonna bring the hammer down on your head – take heed whistledicks of Halifax!!!!!
XD Anyone who says shit like ‘the sisterhood’ in earnest lacks self awareness. This is evident in the fact that they can’t figure out why they’re still single at 40.
Righteous Rant, Sister!