Girlfriend, you seriously need to pressure wash your area. It smells as if someone left an open bottle of porter and a half-eaten donair on the sidewalk for a week. In August.
That may pass muster when welcoming the vernal equinox, but since it is, as you are so fond of saying “Getting, rather than giving is a feminist issue,” you need to meet the rest of the world half way.
—Yes, that’s Tiger Balm I’m putting on my upper lip.
This article appears in Oct 18-24, 2018.
Guys should take heed of this post as well. You guys stink way worse! Cup your balls then smell your hand. Yeah smells like old hot dog water and dirty mop water. Learn to wipe your ass properly and then wash it after taking a dump, especially if you’re going on a date after. Stop sitting on women’s sofa’s and leaving behind a nasty brown stain from your grungy bunghole. And the worst offender, pull back that foreskin and wash the cheese-dik, ya dirty bastids.