I’m going to give myself permission to be amongst those who are most despised: those who wallow in their own self-pity
We all need to sometimes right? Well fuck it.
Whatever my own self-image proclaims, I on a regular basis am told that I possess all the qualities of what would be considered a “desirable” person (i.e. attractive, intelligent, ambitious, talented, a good cook etc)
So what does it take to get a date in this town?
I’m either led on by people who in the end do nothing, or I take the risk and continually get rejected.
Things really can’t get much drier around here.
I’ve been doing everything in the book and outside the box, from jumping out of my circle to pushing myself outside my comfort zone. NOTHING. This drought is painful.
Sometimes someone just wants to be made to feel special or desired. Just flirt with me for the sake of it!
—Not Thinking about Not Thinking About This
This article appears in Jan 29 – Feb 4, 2009.
Hmmm I semi feel your pain, then I stopped caring about dating altogether two years ago. I’ve been happier since, and my groin has thanked me for the fewer kicks I’ve recieved since.
Relax and stop looking, for Christ’s Sake. Treasure your friends and your independence. The right person will come along when you least expect it. As long as you come across as needy, you’ll be avoided like a plague.
Relax and stop looking, for Christ’s Sake. Treasure your friends and your independence. The right person will come along when you least expect it. As long as you come across as needy, you’ll be avoided like a plague.
Well maybe you’re just plain annoying
Don’t even worry about trying… and when you get out of this, don’t worry about it. You won’t find the girl you’re looking for by going out and asking random chicks out on a date, you meet her as a random chance, and everything just cliques, then asking her out on a date becomes natural (as in my case said random chance turned into a date right then and there) and then you don’t have to worry about shining all the time. You shouldn’t have to jump through hoops all the time to get a girl… you just come off as trying too hard. Ugh… first it was insecure chicks, now it’s insecure guys.
Well, you have guys DO have to admit Halifax isn’t exactly crawling with eligible bachelors/bachelorettes…
I’ve often wondered how ANYONE meets ANYONE in this city. It’s seemingly impossible. The chance meeting idea is great, and that’s pretty much how my relationship past has evolved, but…those types of meetings are pretty few and far between.
I gave up looking a LONG time ago. After my last relationship (a chance meeting…if only I had known) I’m on a break for at least the next decade.
Dating, and everything that goes with it, is pretty frustrating, especially in a farty little city like Halifax.
Chance meeting happen all the time, but you actually have to get off yer arse. Sitting around waiting for it doesn’t make it happen.
I was happily single for a while and then I suddenly ended up meeting a spouse-to-be wehn i least expected it, so I can vouch for the “reeeeellllax and let it go” plan.
But I have to say, before that, I found Halifax to be a nightmare for dating. There is still a LOT of small town insecurity here, plus a whole bunch of pretentious-snotty university town insecurity, and good ole Maritime fake-nice passive aggression piled on top of that. Too much insincerity, too much 90’s-Seinfeld-style “sarcasm” as a feeble attempt at appearing witty, too much grade-nine chicken-shit not saying what they really think because they want to be “polite”.
Just a whole lot of trying way too hard. It was generally pleasant, but always awful in the end because it seemed like absolutely no one was ever able to just relax and be themselves. And when it was over, they couldn’t let it die.
I’m not sure if it’s a East Coast cultural thing, or if it’s a university town thing, or a bar-saturated drinking town thing, or what – or maybe it’s the same everywhere. I know it wasn’t just me (trust me, I considered the possibility) – because I’ve heard it over and over and over from locals and visitors alike.
My experiences in other cities were always better though…at least people seem to be more frank with one another in some other places.
I actually agree with TTFN; if you stop looking, maybe you’ll be able to enjoy life a bit more without being constantly wishing you could be with someone. If you can, anyway. Being alone is tough if you’re prone to being lonely.
But definitely still do what you’re doing in terms of putting yourself out there and out of your comfort zone…but think of it more as just expanding your horizons in general.
I appreciate this bitch because the OP neither tries to make all of one gender The Enemy, nor (shudder) refers to themselves as a “Nice Guy.”
I hear ya! Halifax IS an impossible city in which to find someone. I’m just going to go with the que sera sera approach, meet new people whenever possible, and then move the hell out come summer. See what a bigger city has to offer.