Earlier this week, I walked into my local corner store, to get change for my laundry. I walked into the store to see the older gentleman (I would say 50-60)sitting at the cash. He looked up with a big smile on his face and proceeded to stare at my chest. “oh Hello, you look beautiful today” “Thank you,” I said “you look nice too, you got you’re hair cut?” “oh yes I did, but you look nice everyday.” “thank you,” I replied.
Trying to get my money so that I can leave, I said “Could I please get a toonie changed for 2 loonies please.” he gave me the change smiling at me and still clearly staring at my chest. I went to leave as he started to speak. “You’re boyfriend must think he is very lucky.”
“Oh, I hope so.” I replied. “well because you’re just so beautiful” he continued to say. you have a beautiful BODY, Beautiful BREASTS, beautiful GREEN eyes.” THE man new the color of my eyes off by heart. This is EXTREMELY inappropriate. I am 18 years old and this man could be my grandfather.
—COMPLETELY DISCUSTED
This article appears in Apr 23-29, 2009.
I wrote this bitch, and forgot to mention the entire time this man was STARING, no, not staring GAWKING, at my chest.
Maybe wear a brown mu-mu next time.
Get used to it sweetie. You’re just a piece of meat to us.
I thought gurls wear shirts that show cleavage so men could see the breasts, I mean wasn’t that the point of the shirts !!!??? women are so confusing.
His world would have shattered if they were fake, eh. Whip out some gel implants next time and whip ’em at his face like week old clammy patties. What a sweaty little fuck!
His world would have shattered if they were fake, eh. Whip out some gel implants next time and whip ’em at his face like week old clammy patties. What a sweaty little fuck!
Fucking hiccups.
Ace – some are, some aren’t. Best to err on the side of not being like this creepy, rude old man.
Poor ol’ dude – probably will have to double up on his heart meds. Look, kid, you’re young and you’ve gotta a nice shelf – get used to it, that’s gonna happen more than you’d like. Take it from someone who knows.
green eyes are very sexy.
Last Christmas, (not on the day but our own celebration a few days later because I had to work) I got a t-shirt that had a clever saying written across it. I thought it was funny but never really wear those kinds of shirts… I threw it on and it fit me so that was good. We then went out to the grocery store to get some fresh produce for supper, since the family was in town. People were staring and squinting at me the entire time and I kinda got paranoid because I had no idea why ….. until the cashier, out of the blue, said to me “that happens to me all the time”…. my shirt said “Ever stop to think and forget to start again?”.
point is, if you’re putting it out there, expect people to look at it. As bullet said, I bet you weren’t wearing a sweater or even a t-shirt, but rather some low cut blouse or top…
You basically got what you were asking for and are complaining because it wasn’t some fresh, cute, young guy trying to chat you up.
Ace, what is your picture an example of?
It’s on the tip of my tongue but I can’t think of it (and don’t say “hands”…. I know it’s hands…I’m referring to an object that is comprised of littler objects of the same design so you see the same thing no matter how far you drill down?)
It’s driving me nuts… what is it CALLED????? ARGGG….
Fractal
Yeah OP, you’re an idiot. You think that you can just walk around, like a person, and receive basic courtesy? You’re a female, so obviously you need to suck it up and plan every moment of every day around how other people may or may not react to your physical existance.
And good point, zZz “You got what you deserved” is something girls just don’t hear enough. It’s like women who think they can wear skirts to bars and not expect to get raped.
PS. Turtleneck or not, if you’re above an AA cup, you can see that there are breasts under the shirt. She never said he was staring at he cleavage, just her breasts.
Owning a set of tits is NOT “putting it out there” no matter what sized cup is required. I can’t believe you said that, zZz! Too many rude rude rude boys out there these days and they learned how to address women from their creepy fathers. OP, this is a town where they say, “you don’t like us treating you like shit? Leave!” Don’t leave! Help to bring this end of the world in tune with the times. Demand the respect you deserve just simply being a Canadian woman. One of these days someone like the OP here is going to hold a businessman accountable, publish his name, the name of his business and describe his disgusting behavior so his customers, Joe-Public, can decide if they want to support his demeaning behavior. I can’t believe how many walk around my country thinking its their privilege to deny my human rights… go back to fucking Pakistan, war-torn or not, and take your fucked up values with you!… Maritime men sure piss me off these days.
I think it’s funny the OP seemed more concerned about his beautiful green Eyes comment than the beautiful body and breast comments.
And Kay, “Pakistan”?. Where’s that coming from? There are lots of WASPy sexist creepy pigs around.
Did I miss something? Did the OP say what she was wearing at any point? Further, in context of the story as told, does it matter?
Ok. I think it’s true that many girls dress for attention, but think that anyone giving that attention has to meet their standards. Wearing tight or revealing clothes and expecting men not to look at you is like walking down the street yelling and getting mad when people listen.
However, this has little to do with the OP, in my opinion. Expecting men not to look is, frankly, dumb. Expecting them not to leer or ogle is valid, but for a certain percentage, unrealistic. It’s rude, but the world’s full of assholes, so it’s going to happen often enough that you will need to either accept it, change your outfit, or waste a lot of time yelling at assholes.
Comment along the “I like your boobies” line, are obviously over the line. Said comments from people you’re doing business with, and who are decades away from you age-wise, are beyond the pale by any reasonable standard, no matter what the OP happened to be wearing at the time.
OP, I wish you were my daughter so my husband could walk you back to the store and quiz the creep on exactly what he meant with his comments about my 18 year old daughter’s breasts. This is the kind of “justice” served up in this town. Go tell your Daddy.
Or have a laugh, go back to the store and ask him what his own daughter would think of such comments from an old creepy man, straight up! Just like that. He’s likely to at least stutter as you strut out of store without buying anything… ever. Actually, better take your Daddy along for that one too. Some of these creeps would think you we getting friendly with them just by going there to open your mouth. Don’t put up with shit… ever… from anyone… ESPECIALLY if you own a pair of tits.
What’s that? A certain percentage of men should not be expected to control themselves? Holy fuck! This isn’t the dark ages! Snap out of it! Keep in mind we often see bitches here, boys who dress like girls, who think they should not be stared at yet some men, not women, just men, should not be expected to control themselves in a civil manner in the presence of an attractive female? OMG
OP, you wear whatever you want and KEEP those “high” expectations that your civil rights are indeed civil in this country.
Sigh. What a perpetual indignation machine.
Staring/leering/ogling is rude. Letting a door slam in someone’s face is also rude, for example. The OP (and women in general, and men who dress like women, and anyone who has any quality that occasionally leads to them being stared at, among who’s number I count myself) shouldn’t ‘expect’ not to be occasionally stared at in the same sense that I shouldn’t ‘expect’ not to have a door slam in my face.
Not because it’s an acceptable behaviour, because it’s clearly not, but because it’s unrealisic. we all know from experience that there’s a certain percentage of people who have no couth, and will do these things regardless of whether they’re acceptable or not.
You will notice that I did not say “Hey, it’s going to happen so just lay back and enjoy the ride” or “It’s going to happen anyway, so you’re obviously a slut.” Nor did I decide what the must have been wearing something trashy in order to warrant what happened.
In effect, I said that it’s a rude thing to do, which means rude people will do it, and she (like anyone) will have to decide for themselves what to do about it in any given situation. Yeesh.
We’re not talking about occasional staring. We’re talking about an old man getting in the face of a young girl at his public place of business, Prune. Who cares what she was wearing. We’re in Canada now.
Yes Kay, an old man who, from what the OP tells us, was polite and complimented her. She returned the compliment. He gets excited and pushed the interaction to the point of being creepy. At that point, all the OP had to do was express her disapproval of his behavior. End of story. This is not the big issue of Women’s Rights or, as you seem to be implying, an issue of cultural chauvinism. It is, as Prune points out, simply rudeness.
I don’t blame the OP for the guy’s behaviour, but, by remaining polite when she felt uncomfortable, she did allow the situation to escalate. The onus is on the person who is offended to correct the behavior of the offender. The creepy guy probably thought he was being charming.
All the guys out there know how much we women enjoy talking about our tits! Yup. Very “polite” subject for casual conversation. Sure. Whatever…. now it’s up to 18 year old girls to tell old men how to behave and remain civil. Uh huh. Whatever you say, Miles. I’m sure if you had an 18 year old daughter heading out for the night you wouldn’t be so “charming” in defending pigs.
Basically what Miles said…for some people, putting it out there is the same as “born with tits.” It’s kind of hard not to put something out there that is attached to your body, unless you feel like wearing giant, baggy sweaters all the time. And people will still stare. So you have to ask is it because they deserved it or is it because people look at them as a piece of meat which is undeserving of human respect and dignity.
Oops, not what Miles said; I can’t even find the comment I liked any more…oh well.
Kay let me spell it out for you since you misread my post: “You look beautiful today” can be a polite compliment. “Thank you, you look nice too” is an appropriately polite response. “Nice body, breasts and eyes” = inappropriate. At which point, the OP should have expressed her disgust in some way. By not letting the guy know she was upset, he will probably only treat her like that again thinking that she likes it. Or, he will continue to treat others like that. So, yes, it is up to 18 year old girls to tell men who didn’t learn proper manners how to treat them. It is up to all of us. Tolerating rudeness just begets more rudeness. You of all people should understand that point since many of your posts, including the ones on this thread, suggest we should stand up for ourselves.
“…go back to the store and ask him what his own daughter would think of such comments from an old creepy man, straight up! Just like that.”
One of my favourite things about you Kay, is that you love to argue, even with people who agree with you.
OP I feel your pain, and agree with Kay on this point. I actually had something very similar happen to me yesterday. I was at Salvation Army, and was wearing a low cut top, but I don’t have huge boobs, so I wasn’t exactly hanging out or anything. As I walked in this older man saw me and started staring, so I walked away, but then saw him again a few minutes later and he was still staring. After running into him a few more times I put my jacket on so he could see nothing, but he continued to follow me around the store for another 20 mins staring at me being very creepy. I was with other people so I couldn’t just leave like I wanted to, but it was disgusting, he would follow me around the store, and stand 8 feet away and pretend to shop, but instead be staring at me. No one deserves this kind of treatment. I perfectly understand when someone looks and then isn’t creepy about it, but this was harrassingly gross. As was what the guy did to you OP, and you didn’t deserve it simply because you were being polite. I’m sure neither of us wanted to make a scene out of what happened, we just wanted the creepy old guy out of our personal space.
Oh and by the way, we have certain conventions in our this society regarding what it is and isn’t acceptable to stare at. If you disregard these conventions at this man’s age, it’s because you are A. developmentally retarded or B. just don’t care, because you don’t need to. Being disrespectful to someone simply because you know you’ll face no real consequences is disgusting and not polite in the least…and is probably worse than not speaking up. Anyway, he probably knew exactly what he was doing, and acting like speaking up would change anything isn’t very helpful.
PAS, that’s a little fucked up, I think you should have walked up to this asshole and asked if he had a problem. If he’s following you around a fucking store, man, he needs a little bit of a wake up call. It’s one thing to see an attractive woman, but quite another to follow someone around ogling them. Shoulda give him the one finger salute.
Why doesn’t every single person in this country have an expectation of civilized and respectful behavior from every other person in this country? No, it’s not up to the children to correct the behavior of their elders… ever. Like I said Miles, you kiss your daughter good-bye for the evening and see how long you think it’s her job to engage creepy old men behaving inappropriately towards her.
As a white female, I had never felt like a minority until I came to Nova Scotia. I was appalled as was my husband (remember Desi’s one and only bitch) over how sexually aggressive the men are here. It doesn’t matter if you sport the wedding band or even have him on your arm, the mentality of many men here resides with beasts. If it’s up to young women to change that we’re so fucked here in the East… explains a lot.
PAS, Mole Rat Kay and other females who this happens to, the problem is obvious and easily identified: Men, especially old men, can be creepy and harrasingly rude.
So, what can you do about it? I understand not wanting to cause trouble or not wanting to make a scene, I’m inclined to not disturb the status quo myself, but if you are feeling harassed/uncomfortable I think you need to speak up. Maybe, as Mole Rat says, it’s not going to change the guy’s attitude, but wouldn’t it at least make you feel a little better? And wouldn’t it let others around you know that you are not going to put up with it? What does doing nothing accomplish? I think it only empowers these creeps to think they can get away with being jerks.
Or, do we just have to accept the fact that some guys are going to disrespect women, and not let it get us bent out of shape over it? I don’t feel comfortable with that option, even as a man.
As I said Kay, it’s not only up to 18 year olds (who are adults, not children). It’s up to us all. I don’t get how I can agree with you and you still be arguing with me. It’s frustrating.
Guys can be creepy. Complaining about them to each other doesn’t make them less creepy. How do you propose you change unacceptable behaviour if you are not willing to call it out? If the 60 year old men want to behave like children, then it’s fair to try and teach them manners the same way we teach our kids manners, by example and by correcting them when they are rude. If not for the offenders benefit, then to send a message to others that it will not be tolerated.
There is no point in getting bent out of shape about it, because it will happen – which isn’t to say that it has to happen.
I didn’t necessarily mean to imply that no one should ever feel the need to call someone out over their actions. Sometimes, because of our fucked up society, the person genuinely didn’t know that what they were doing was unwelcome and is open to changing their ways. Other times, they will just smile and nod and carry on.
I guess what I don’t like is in certain situations where someone is being victimized, people tend to put more focus on what they did, rather than on what was done to them. And the root cause of this I think is the erroneous belief that certain actions are inevitable.
Human activity over countless generations has selected for men (and also women) to have the mental defect of overestimating the value of getting into someone’s pants.
Someone please tell me who formalized the theory (in was in the 1700s, I think), but in deciding whether to take any given action, we take (to some extent) the values of the possible advantages of that action multiplied by their probabilities and compare it to the same calculation for possible disadvantages.
If the advantages side comes out on top, we take the action.
The problems are:
A) People can be very bad at identifying every advantage and disadvantage, at estimating their benefits and costs, and at estimating their probabilities.
B) People are impulsive about some things and that can make them even worse at the above for some decisions.
C) The brains of humans and of every other animal on Earth have been selected to be biased toward considering the needs of GENES vice the needs of the individual animal. (Read “The Selfish Gene”…and NO, it is not about PEOPLE being selfish.)
Yes, sex can be great, but the value attached to it by us all (and especially men, it would seem) is far too high. Our sense of what is worth doing/risking for it routinely hijacked by hormones and blown out of proportion.
The next time you see someone acting like the OP’s cashier, for the benefit of us all SAY SOMETHING! …but this does not have to be a full-on bitch-out.
I’ve posted previously that there is an ocean of possibilities between not saying anything and pressing a vicious attack but so many people seem to have no clue about that. Remember that the creep in question is working with a mental impairment. …and please, a little recognition that it was necessary to get us all here. Having that mental defect is 100% natural. We can’t expect an instant change in society.
Also, remember that the cashier was not invading the OP’s personal space and was not, as far as I can tell, in any position of authority over the OP.
Another take: Think of the cashier as a puppy peeing on a rug. A little scolding AND being shown the ‘right’ way to do things is called for…but there’s no need to act like he should be put down or beaten. The puppy is adapted to a world without carpets. Have I made my point yet??
Miles, I’m not being obtuse. 18 is considered adult in some provinces but I think we’d all agree 18 year olds are just, that… kids. Get one… you’d agree too.
I’m pretty confident and secure so I, personally, would have confronted the shop owner, however, it would be a most memorable lesson if you can bring some other alpha male onto the scene to “teach the bad puppy”. It’s dangerous for girls of any age to confront disrespecting, bigger and stronger males (sometimes translates to “authority”) especially those who have an unhealthy or inappropriate interest in their sexuality. We’ve all got gender, we’ve all got hormones and are driven to procreate. We’re all animals but we expect all people to behave in a civilized manner no matter what their hormone levels are, dogma… you’ll find no sympathy for horny old men here.
Tittiiiiiiiieeeeeeesssss………………………..
That’s what we’re going for: civility.
I’m just saying we should recognize that we are not maintaining the status quo here… This is a new trick we are trying to learn.
By the way…it would all happen much more quickly if women didn’t tend to reward jerks by going for them. Beyond just hormones, cashier creep man is going on something when he thinks that talking to the OP the way he did might be a good idea. Unfortunately, there is a fine line between confidence and assholishness.
No Dogma, that’s an interesting comment in your second paragraph and I must agree with you.
It seems to be okay for certain dudes to be assholes and its rewarded but others are demonized. I’ve seen situtations where two guys said the exact same thing and one was given praise while the other was shunned; just because one dressed better and popped his collar.
“We’re not talking about occasional staring. We’re talking about an old man getting in the face of a young girl at his public place of business, Prune. Who cares what she was wearing. We’re in Canada now.”
Sigh. One more go ’round. when you say ‘What’s that? A certain percentage of men should not be expected to control themselves? Holy fuck!’, what I reply is, in fact talking a bout the occasional staring that people deal with every day.
Secondly, no one cares what she was wearing except the people in this thread who made assumptions about what she was wearing, and most likely the subject of the bitch itself. I certainly don’t, which is why I said ‘Did the OP say what she was wearing at any point? Further, in context of the story as told, does it matter?’. The sentence in my second post should have read ‘Nor did I decide that the OP must have been wearing something trashy in order to warrant what happened.’ Apologies for the confusion on that one.
“I, personally, would have confronted the shop owner, however, it would be a most memorable lesson if you can bring some other alpha male onto the scene to “teach the bad puppy”.”
kay, I can only hope other people do as you DO and not as you SAY. By your logic, the bigger a person is, the more we should be willing to let them get away with things. I’m sure you don’t really want that, but that’s what your thinking leads to.
NO, there should not be any fetching someone bigger to do what you should do yourself. Firstly, you are wrongly assuming that every verbal confrontation will devolve into a physical fight otherwise. Secondly, that kind of thinking is exactly what undermines efforts to have people seen as equals in the areas they should be. ‘Ability to argue for civility’ is one such area.
We have police if needed. The idea of AUTOMATICALLY backing up every argument with threat of force, though, is a stupid one, and it reduces the value, in society, of those who are not the biggest and strongest.
Congrats on having what you would do right, kay Now preach what you practice. Funny…usually the problem with people is the other way around.
I agree No Dogma.
An 18-year old, and anyone else, should be able to a guy “Excuse me sir, but I don’t appreciate the way you are speaking to me and I’ll ask you keep such comments to yourself in the future”. That’s all this situation would require. At the most this situation is awkward, not threatening as Kay would have us believe.
“So wear a fucking turtleneck. If your tits aren’t hanging out in plain view, people won’t look at them. Stupid bitch OP, nothing like wearing a low-cut shirt then bitching when people look at your tits.”
FROM OP.
I was actually wearing a tshirt and was completely covered. so no i’m on a stupid bitch.
thanks.
Ok, guys, think about this: Say you’re a young married man. You’re hopelessly in love and devoted to your wife. You own a house together and you have taken your shirt off to do some yard work. Then some ugly 60-year-old woman comes down the sidewalk, openly stares at your sweaty chest, and comes up to you and starts telling you how hot you are. So because you have “exposed yourself”, then she has the right to come and hit on you, that you were asking for it? Wouldn’t you be a tad uncomfortable yourself? It’s even worse that he was at work, it was completely unprofessional.
Btw, I have DD boobs. They get stared at no matter what I wear, so don’t even try to say that this girl “must” have been wearing something low-cut. A lot of guys just don’t know how to treat a girl like a person, with respect, rather than a mail-order blow-up doll.
I’m agreeing with miles and no dogma here. There is no way to control other humans actions, however, you have the right to control how you are treated. Some delusional people can sometimes think that the person they are inappropriately treating is ok with it, and that perhaps they even like it. Therefore it is up to that person to say something and stop that treatment. However like no dogma said it doesn’t have to be a “full-on bitch-out”, it could be as simple as you stating, “I feel those comments to be inappropriate and are making me uncomfortable.” And perhaps a little “my face is up here asshole” (just kidding..sorta..) And Kay, an 18 year old is still a child, I agree with that, and that child should feel she has people to turn to if a situation turns bad. However, I don’t think putting an “alpha” male into every situation like this that the girl crosses is necessarily a good idea. The girl should be comfortable to say what makes her uncomfortable and not have to depend on a man to do it for her. I understand what your saying about bringing a male into the picture, but what happens if the situation arises that she can’t do that. She needs to be comfortable and respect herself, and by doing that, will have no problems telling the guy mistreating her as respectfully as possible to “go fuck himself” without the help of a man. However, this is NOT saying that she should never get someone (male or female) for help or support when a situation gets out of hand, or if her intuition sparks. As a person with really dam good intuition I will always encourage my daughter to listen to it as well. Even if it meant asking someone at the time to stay with you in the situation, or whatever you feel you need to do to feel safe.
Now, you pigs will hear from me:
“It’s dangerous for girls of any age to confront disrespecting, bigger and stronger males (sometimes translates to “authority” This is exactly why I didn’t say anything, for all of you that are telling me to confront him. If he wasn’t afraid to speak like this to me, what else would I hear?
This is innapropriate, VERY INNAPROPRIATE. I work in the customer service field and never would I degrade someone like this. I was being polite when I noticed his hair cut.
really All i’m asking for is a little common curtousy, if he stopped at “you look beautiful today” I would have been ok with that, that is a commpliment,
You have beautiful breasts, is a piggish comment. which im sure is not accepted by ANYBODY with a pair of tits.
and for all of you who just assumed that I was wearing a low cut top, or displaying my breasts, you really made a fool of yoruself.
read next time and you’ll see that no where in the entire post does it say i was wearing something low or revealing.
Read before you speak ass holes.
Ps, wow i’m impressed with the amount of posts on my topic.
Lostmore – we agree with you. You have absolute right to be respected and treated as such. Next time you get the person staring at your areas, maybe say with some sharpness, “Excuse me, my eyes are up here!” And even point to them with a couple fingers to drive it home to whomever is glaring.
However, at the same time, we cannot control other humans’ behaviour and expectations should be considered obsolete. People will look whether you’re in a low cut top or baggy sweater. I’m not saying it is right or fair, however it can and will happen.
If you’re involved in a situation with someone who’s just looking at your assets, you’re totally able to take control of the situation.
At the end of the day, you’re still entitled to be treated with respect. And you can make sure that you are treated as such.
Pretty girl, I see what you’re trying to do, but I don’t think the comparison is very good. The best one I was able to come up with is if the old guy had a giant goiter on his neck, he would probably get sick pretty soon of rude people staring at it.
I don’t mean a glance. For myself, sometimes I do get a bit hypnotized by teh boobehz. And when something is attractive or different somehow, it can be challenging to look elsewhere. But not impossible. There’s a difference between noticing something, and staring rudely just because you feel you can.
I don’t even really mind older guys flirting with me…as long as it doesn’t cross the line from flirting into harrassment. That’s true of any age.
“If you’re involved in a situation with someone who’s just looking at your assets, you’re totally able to take control of the situation.”
I’m afraid not. Public shaming can work wonders sometimes, but sometimes people will just continue with their rude behavior, because in the end they just want to feel like they’re more powerful than you, and your only recourse is to leave. And then you lose, because you probably didn’t want to leave, at least not for that reason.
I’ve seen plenty of females take control of situations where males were only gawking at them for the purpose of gawking at them. If anything, they appeared to be strong, independent women that refuse to take crap from anybody. They’re out there.
Public shaming means nothing when you stick up for yourself or your rights.
I’ll elaborate:
You’re only as “hopeless” or “defenceless” as you choose to allow yourself to be.
I agree with Pretty girl, this is the exact same type of situation but with the roles reversed.
Lostmore, I think everyone agrees that the guy was behaving in a deplorable manner.
Also, if your instincts told you that not saying anything was the right thing for you to do, then it was….none of us was there.
However, I hope you do listen to some of the discussion that went on here in this thread because there will always be guys like that out there and you will need to find a way to deal with them to ensure you get the respect you, and all people, deserve.
Mole Rat: I don’t think that leaving, when you feel your safety and comfort are in danger, is ever loosing. If you were in a store such as super store, and someone was relentlessly harassing you, after you have made it clear that you weren’t comfortable, there should be no reason why you can’t “leave” that situation to go get staff or security to ask them to get the harasser to leave. If at a bus stop and other people are around, you can call the cops to get the harasser to leave that bus stop. However, if in a situation that someone is doing this, it isn’t public, or it’s late at night, you are definitely not “losing” by doing whatever you can to get out of that situation, being safe is never losing.
Holy fuck! Don’t any of you people ever get out?
not condoning his actions OP, not at all. Simply curious to know if he wasnt an old guy would his comments have affected you differently? I ask this because you mentioned he’s old enough to be your grandfather.
wouldnt the comments be equally reprehensible coming from a 20 year old dude with taut rippling abs? by stressing his advanced age it makes it appear that if the comment were from a younger man, it might be differently recieved.
Fallingangel, I guess it wasn’t very clear, but I meant losing as in the shittiness of having to leave a place you’d like to to be, because someone is making you uncomfortable. I wasn’t trying to judge people who do leave – sometimes it’s the only option. Just saying it’s a shitty option. Public spaces should be welcoming for everyone.
Yes, john… The creepy cashier’s comments notwithstanding, decrying sexism while espousing ageism is not very inspiring.
John, I think that while your point is good, it’s not always the case of age. I’ve had old guys look at my chest, completely admit to it, but joke about the fact that they did it, in a completely non creepy way, and I just thought it was funny. It’s springtime, that seems to have an effect on guys, but theres looking, and then theres too far. Telling the OP she had beautiful breasts, is too far from a stranger no matter how old they are. I can’t imagine any stranger guy no matter how hot, telling me that and me not thinking he was an asshole.
I think a lot of the problem with older guys and younger girls is that for me at least, I never know how they’re going to react to me publicly calling them out on something like that. Younger guys will most likely call me a bitch and leave with their tail between their legs, easily handled. Older guys can be unpredicatble when you don’t know how they treat women. And I have an overactive-always-leans-towards-the-bad-results imagination.
yes i probbaly would have reacted a little bit less, if he wasn’t as old as he was, not saying that it is any better, but the fact that he is more than twice my age makes it a tad bit more creepy don’t you think?
i agree PAS. i was just wondering out loud because she mentioned age. i think age could have been totally omitted from OP’s post and still had the same meaning.
men can be insensitive, boorish pigs sometimes…young or old.
i just lost a bit of understanding for you lostmore. why should such a comment be less offensive if the guy is hot?
i do agree that an older man leering at an 18 year old girl is creepy, however i find it odd that you would feel less objectified should the gawker be younger.
is your main complaint that he was staring at your breasts and commenting on them…or is it that he was just too old to be doing that?
I’d still be pissed if a ‘hot’ guy did that to me, however I’d still strangely like it later…eh.
I didn’t say if the guy was more ATTRACTIVE it would be more acceptable i said that if he was YOUNGER, and in my age range, it wou1d be less creepy.
you people enjoy changing what people say WAY too much.
well in my post i questioned you on it being a 20 year old dude with taut rippling abs. that makes him hot right.
and im not trying to change what you say. simply understand.
I believe that what Lostmore means, is that if someone is significantly older, they would be expected to take on a more mature role, such as that of a mentor. It feels creepier because it’s far more violating than if it had happened with someone who is closer to the OP’s age.
ok, now i get it. the level of inpropriety(or creepiness) of a given comment is directly proportional to the age of the individual uttering the objectifying statement.
op i think you should out the guy and tell us what store to avoid
and i am really sorry this happened to you
it hurts
FRACTAL, thank you Miles…
in a time crunch this morning so didn’t get more than half way through this post….
kay, I didn’t say what I do… in fact my goal is usually to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible and I really don’t give a flying fuck who or what gets in my way. I don’t gawk, stare, follow, or roam off the beaten path.
I said what would happen. There are plenty of jerks and idiots out there to prove my point for me.
WTF are you talking about, zZz? “Point A… Point B”???
moral of the story:
if you’re 18 years old and have breasts enough to look to. get your change for a tooney at the banks, and don’t tempt the poor frustrated 50-60 year old dude who would now be wa#king behind the counter waiting for your return.
next time, ask a woman for change of a tooney. it would be less risque, unless she is a lessie . rofl
another thing:
this following anecdote is not meant for COMPLETELY DISgUSTED but for those with a different agenda:
seriously, there are some girls who consistently perform “sinister mammary promos” that should “make a molehill out of their mountains”.
a year ago, i worked with several 18 – 22’s who come to work with cleavage literally popping over even without them leaning forward. each time they sit in the lunch room they seem to choose the table where the guys have vantage view . and each of them would take turns calling out, “cleavage, cleavage!”.
i wasn’t sure if they were warning each other of showing too much, or just trying to get the guys to look.
gawd, if they were so overly concerned with cleavage, why did they not dress more appropriately for work?
I don’t care if the chick comes to work topless (legal in ON)… men HAVE to remain civil and control themselves! Period.
Legsman, were you born in the Dark Ages or do you try really hard to oppress women? I’m going to turn the tables and have you consider this… “gawd, if [men] were so overly concerned with cleavage, why did they not [throw acid in their eyes]?”. Time to get a coping skill for naked flesh. Good luck with that.
Someone mentions the word BREASTS and suddenly there are 72 comments 🙂
Whereas Swine/Pig flu hardly gets a look-in….
I don’t have all day to read through all these posts, so all I’ve got to say is this:
Wearing revealing clothing does not give any person (man or woman) the right to comment about it. It does however give people the right to look as much as they want. If you’re wearing a low cut blouse that shows off your cleavage, you have NO RIGHT whatsoever to get mad at someone for looking or even staring at it. It’s the same for guys. If you’re wearing a sleeveless shirt or tight jeans, those creepy old ladies can stare at your arms or bulge as much as they want. If you don’t want it seen, don’t put it on display.
Perhaps if the gubments this side of the pond weren’t so farkin uptight about a few areola, we wouldn’t think tits are such a big deal.
no gay kay, unfortunately i am not in the dark age , i wish! if i were i would have grab those cleavage exposing cave women by their knockers and drag them home to my 5 storey cave condo to make cave babies procreating like minks instead of trying to make sense with you.
i suppose you’re one of those cleavage callers ?rofl
exactly zZz. its amazing going to other places that arent as inhibited as ours and seeing how bare breasts, or a little cleavage, arent causes for debate.
the first time i travelled abroad 5 years ago i thought how weird it was going to be to see topless women…because of how we are taught ’round here. you know what, it wasnt odd at all. it made no difference. little kids werent crying, parents werent shielding their eyes. the kids didnt even seem to notice. my gf has been topless many times at beaches without incident or gwakfests.
its only because at a young age alot of parents teach their kids that nude bodies are somehow shameful and should be hidden that sexualizes breasts. its not movies or porns or magazines. an informed person knows the difference between media and reality. until we properly educate our kids, nipples will be dirty.
I’m getting uneasy hearing NW list off what RIGHTS I have. I’ll assume he’s in the legal profession.
ahahahahahaha!!!! YOU KNOW YOU LIKED IT….dumb ass
ahahahahah…you know you liked it….and the older men of course….
You don’t have to take that shit, CD. The next time someone does that to you, just clearly tell them to fuck off.
I do not wear revealing clothing, but since I happen to be relatively attractive, I get old men blatantly staring at me all the time. Younger men just know they can actually get some and so they don’t feel the need to stare.
Monkey is right, we are just pieces of meat to them.
Ok, I have read some more posts and the debate seems to be whether it would be just as bad if the guy was closer to her own age.
Well, in my experience, it is the older men who stare – younger guys will just take a look and then look away.
Nevertheless, the reason that it would be worse for an older guy to stare is that the older man KNOWS that she would not be interested, whereas a younger guy might have a chance, and thus has something to offer her in return. It’s not rocket science!
so call him an asshole, walk out and don’t do business there…simple!
girl, all you had to do was turn to the guy and say something like…
“LOOK BUDDY, i only came in here to ‘get change for my laundry’ – not to be ogled and have my YOUNG TITS gawked at by some dirty OLD man!”
then leave and don’t patronize his store again
or if playing the victim card happens to be your thing – then you could pay the horny old bastard another visit, get yourself ogled and “completely discusted” about it again – then come back here and bitch about it some more
so what, ya got nice tits… try growing a pair of balls and SPEAK UP next time fer fuksake. SAY SOMETHING to the guy! put him in his place. don’t just come on here and whine about it.
I still think you should introduce him to your Daddy
Maybe you can ask OP to introduce you, kay. Maybe your rock star husband is already tired of you and would wish for you to run away on him b/c it’d be cheaper than divorcing you.
Get another shitty bag of dope, fat? I breath a sigh of relief when I read shit like this from you… it provides assurance you don’t know me IRL
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No Dogma, that’s an interesting comment in your second paragraph and I must agree with you.
It seems to be okay for certain dudes to be assholes and its rewarded but others are demonized. I’ve seen situtations where two guys said the exact same thing and one was given praise while the other was shunned; just because one dressed better and popped his collar.
Posted by Nice Goin’ Fat on April 26, 2009 at 2:57 PM
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Check my recent quotes of this NGF character and you’ll see the irony of this post is insanely hilarious. Too much!
It is still funny. Pot, meet kettle.
Alas … you’re still here.
It seems to be okay for certain dudes to be assholes and its rewarded but others are demonized.
Posted by Donairious BIG on April 26, 2009 at 2:57 PM
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Irony anyone?
I didn’t know you ran an irony business. How much for slacks?