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What the fuck, H^LIF^X? I put my one bag of trash outside this morning in a clear bag right along with the pile of black bags of unsorted trash put out by the other tenants. All those black bags were collected while my single, half full, properly sorted clear bag was left behind. I know how to sort my damn trash, H^LIF^X. I’ve been doing it for twenty years now. Meanwhile, the other tenants in this shitty little four unit building sort nothing. I know this because I am the only one who ever uses the compost bin and I am the only one who ever puts out any recycling. They routinely exceed the bag limit and yet, miraculously, every second Thursday all that trash disappears. So I say again, What the fuck? If the garbage collectors had bothered to put the requisite orange sticker on the bag explaining what the hell was wrong with it, I would be marginally less pissed. Oh, and your shitty 311 system? Is about as useful as Go Time. I pressed zero to speak to a representative, as instructed, and I got three seconds of busy signal and then a click. I managed to send you an email, no thanks to your shitty contact system which is clearly designed to get people to give up, but I’m not optimistic. I guess two weeks from now I’ll have to stand at the curb with my bag in my hand and demand an answer from your contractors, since I doubt I’m going to get one from you. Fuck you, H^LIF^X. Fuck you right in the ear. —Kermit
This article appears in Mar 5-11, 2015.
Put it in a green bag, alongside the neighbours trash and watch it go…
I can’t wait for the clear-bag nightmare to begin… I envision the stairs of the royal palace filled with green bags whilst city councillors clamber for position to slag the people for being cranky.
I suggest we reduce city council again. We’ll keep Waye Mason-he’s got his head on his shoulders; and Gloria McClusky-she’ll keep an ear out for errand trains. We then fire the rest. GDM, MM, Babyshambles, Breakfastsandwich and I will form the council. Ivan will take the role of Colonel Mayor.
There will be no snow. Buses will run on time (else risk public hangings, courtesy of the local Ladies Lynch MoBBery). Free beer Fridays. “Dispensaries” will be as prolific as bars. The Coast will become a paper of the people. Mod will create a LTWWB profile and use it.
And the haters start hating in 5, 4, 3, 2….
burn barrel….
RSVP
Hing Frogg (03/13, 7:44AM)
“Whilst?” “Clamber?” Sounds very English. I thought you were Dutch but I can see your point in wanting to disguise it.
But I protest. I object to serving on the council for “Ivan the Colonel Mayor.” You must be joking. You’ve got to stop kissing his ass. He’s going to get a rash. Anyway, he’s changed his name. (See comment #11 on Universal Soul.) I think you will agree that I have reached new heights when I start cross-referencing my own comments. For that matter, see the next comment.
A pleasure as always,
Cheerio!
SORTING THINGS OUT
“Meanwhile, the other tenants in this shitty little four unit building sort nothing.” Kermit (aka Boris)
Well, I guess you sorted them out! (Note the Anglicism, Hing Frogg.)
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Why can’t you write Halifax normally? trying to be “with it” with the way kids type these days?
Maybe an honest mistake?
311 and GoTime are useless. Maybe they were direct links to the familiar TOOT TOOT TOOT ” This is your captain speaking, you have just won a free trip ” that finally met it’s demise. About time.
The reason why they didn’t take your clear see thru bag was for the fact that they only saw nonreusable garbage in it. With the dark bags, it’s like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’ll find in them. Some goodies and then some nasties.
Maybe they were disgusted by what they saw in the bag. Do you have a subscription to The Conservative Teen?
http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/the-conservative-teen-the-lamest-magazine-ever
All this talk of ears and little green bags makes me think of…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8yQuivSEio
The Coast won’t allow me to be anything but “cleansed”. Apparently, if you’re Dutch and celebrate traditional Dutch-Christmas beliefs, you’re a racist… then they delete your profile. I reference my dear departed friend, Mister Meaty. While I push the boundaries in his memory, my challenges often go unheeded.
My educational background has a strong English language/grammar component.
English as a second language?
Isn’t there a different truck that takes away those bags and cardboard etc?
Garbage and recycling are alternate weeks down here in the valley. We’ve been clear bagging it for twenty years. It’s as easy as hell. All you need is moderate intelligence and not be as lazy as fuck. Let’s see how you make out Halifax!
kind of confused. has op jumped the gun and started using clear bags for trash? perhaps the collector guys were confused and thought he had put out his recycling on a trash day.
i’ll take that job froggy. as long as I can impose the death penalty for people who leave their damn dogs chained out.
I’m sure Colonel Ivan would love to join your junta, Hing but he’s been purged under Article 58
Subsections:
58-1: “counterrevolutionary” defined
58-2: bourgeois nationalists and separatists
58-3: abettors of the enemy
58-5: inciting a foreign state to declare war on USSR
58-6: spies. Includes PSh (Suspicion of Espionage), NSh (Unproven Espionage), SVPSh (Contacts Leading to Suspicion of Espionage)
58-7: subversives
58-8: terrorists (may include TN, “Terrorist Intent,” eg speaking rudely to an official)
58-9: saboteurs (wreckers)
58-10: anti-Soviet agitation and propaganda
58-11: hostile group (an aggravating factor)
58-12: non-informers