U R overconfident….. robot instinct taking over….. must avoid seeming as if I go by first impressions while I change my language to accommodate being judged quickly by someone I’ve known for 40 seconds….. Can’t leave room because she will most likely see that as an acknowledgement to me somehow seeing myself the way she sees me.
I’d better act natural while she silently judges me while forming her own selfish reality that I am “intellectually inferior” and “of no use” to her social agenda. She will bend others in favor of this view especially if I prove myself otherwise quickly enough for her to see me as a threat. If we end up having a conversation towards the end of the night where she sees that I most likely could be friends with many of her friends who are there, she will later explain how impressed she is with me, and how I “must be gay” in order to calm her general hatred of men that she placed me into the moment she most likely assumed that I was of no use; because otherwise, she would feel guilty.
Oh wait, I’m not in Halifax anymore:) —The man who goes by many names
This article appears in Jul 23-29, 2015.
You didn’t have enough money. That’s all. You dodged a bullet.
Oh would some Power
Give us the gift,
To see ourselves
As others see us.
Robert Burns, “To a Louse”
People act like it’s only women who make these judgments but men do it too. It’s funny how men are now claiming to have the short end of the stick. It wasn’t too long ago that women were owned by men and had very little rights. I wonder if in 60ish years heterosexual people will feel ‘slighted’ like men do and start their own “straight pride” bullshit just so they can feel special too.
I was too slow with this so can’t edit my last comment so I will just elaborate on my last post with a one.
If a woman is not interested in a man and she rejects him, the man makes himself feel better by assuming it is because she is a ‘gold digger’ and he doesn’t have enough money. In actuality, it could be because you’re a shitty person OR she just doesn’t feel a connection to you. Maybe she’s not attracted to you, and even thinks you’re gross.
I know it sucks being rejected but maybe there just isn’t a spark there. Thinking that women only want you for your money is a bad attitude to have and it’s simply incorrect in the majority of cases. Enough being a poor sport (maybe your poor attitude is what turned her off to begin with — not your lack of $$).
Who the fuck cares why she doesn’t want you? The point is she doesn’t want you, end of story. Do you really think you’d be interested in her if you had a boat load of money?
I agree with Meaux Fuel. Dude you projecting your own insecurities. She don’t even know you. If you feel unworthy, then it will be so. Quit overthinking everything and quit actin’ a fool.
Not enough bling. Man needs bling.
Or a ‘rainbow of money’ suit – with perforated lines around the bills. The Finance Minister wouldn’t let me wear it to Question Period. The man has no sense of showmanship.
A man does not need bling, a man needs class. Genuine class, which includes: honesty, kindness, integrity, confidence, maturity, intelligence, open-mindedness, and not contradictorily, courage of his convictions.
or… ya know… it is as easy as money.
I think what OP is getting at is simply that it becomes more difficult to make friends in a city where your constantly being analyzed for your worth by people who think their hot shit because of their grade point average, or how they “work at the fifth floor of Aliant” for example. I doubt OP was even interested in this girl, and would thus feel insulted if she “rejected” him without him even showing interest. She likely was, as is common in Halifax, the queen bee of that pack. As for what his motivation would be for being insulted when he had no interest, that was simply him making an observation of how his instincts told him how he was being viewed.
He’s just talking about his experience in how he viewed that situation, and how that situation was an insulting experience.
Men are allowed to be insulted when women assume that the man is interested, puts him down, and shuts him out of a group when all he did was walk into the room and sit down, just as a woman is allowed to do just that. It goes both ways. The human condition if you will. There is no “side” in this situation to “blame”.
I assume the near ending statement of “oh wait, I’m not in Halifax anymore” means that he has moved on to less intense atmospheres where people can more easily breathe socially.
But I don’t think Halifax has any kind of monopoly on that Queen Bee type. In fact, Halifax is a lot more relaxed than a lot of other places. (Personally, I find Edmonton a particularly unfriendly–and money conscious–place.)
The original post was filled with so much pre-emptive presumption about a person who I am not sure even knows the OB exists, that I suspect that our OB is also suffering from a lot of insecurity that he would do well to shed.
Oh, and is it really all that to be working “on the fifth floor of Aliant?” I hadn’t known that was the place to be. (But then again, it’s probably better than being Assistant Manager at Smart Set in terms of pay and prestige.)