To the gentleman who kindly let me know I took far too long to make his double cappuccino at a certain bustling coffee shop this morning: Thank you so much for your “constructive criticism”. I am so very sorry 8 people happened to walk in and order espresso drinks before you got your turn…oh wait…no I’m not, because planet earth revolves around the sun, not your all-important fucking schedule. Sure, your reaction would have been justified if my pace was hindered on account of me texting a friend, sipping my own cappuccino, standing around with my thumb up my ass, or any combination of those activities, but the fact remains that I was working as efficiently as I possibly could to get the orders processed and get everyone one their way.
So just for future reference, we do in fact operate on a first come, first serve basis, JUST LIKE EVERYWHERE ELSE ON THE FUCKING PLANET and if you don’t have time to wait, then go somewhere else or try making your own goddamn espresso at home. —Speedy Gonzales
This article appears in Sep 8-14, 2011.
But if I don’t get my venti, double-shot hazelnut , low foam, skinny latte in 30 seconds, the terrorists will have won.
Tell him to manup and shave his vagina. Too much soy=too much estrogen.
i fucking hate people like this. Some people are so sure they shat the sun and moon that the suggestion that they’re not the center of the universe is completely horrific to them. Spoiled child in the body of a 40 year old fool. Such a waste of precious resources..
The one consolation that you can take from this is that if this asshole reads this bitch, he’ll know it’s about him (because, after all, it’s ALL about him, right?)
If you actually worked at a coffee shop you should know how to spell Espresso. Its not Nespresso. *Hint* I spelled it right in this post.
What a dick. The worst is that it’s hard to respond to people like this the way they deserve – without endangering one’s job. It’s sad that such a large part of working in places like coffee shops is eating the proverbial shit of asshole customers…
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_FqQEHPUq6Zc/TOaW…
Rule numero uno with regards to restaurant/cafe/bar/deli customer etiquette: Never, EVER arbitrarily piss off, annoy, pester or otherwise get on the bad side of anyone who prepares or handles your food. EVER. Lest you unknowingly ingest that which is horked-up from their chest. (a.k.a. the Golden Loogie) Blech!
Nescafe Espresso=Nespresso
and for Angry Office Monkey:
http://www.nespresso.com/?s_kwcid=TC|…
The OB referred to this to make their point that if the customer was so pressed for time, they should buy one of these and make their trendy coffee themselves.
People and their fucking coffee, jesus. I function just fine in the morning without it. I hope you all realize your coffee breath is just as foul as cigarette smoke and double double’s can slowly kill you, or turn you into an caffeine dependent spaz. This bitch is proof.
I could never work at a coffee shop, some jerk like that would get his face scalded with his frickin frappucino.
I want my coffee!!! Undelay! Undelay! Ariba!
Ummm, there are espresso making machines which you can purchase and have in your home and a popular brand is “Nespresso” you friggin’ tool, Office Monkey.
http://www.nespresso.com/#/ca/en
GAWD.
“Monkeys that serve coffee complain” … tonight at 6.
I just said that. *Looks around bewildered* Didn’t I just say that? Helloooooo? *tap tap* Is this thing on? 😛
Mel was just reiterating avast0!
Hah, sorry Avast. I was just so enraged with that person’s stupidity, I didn’t read it before I posted :D!
lol I wasn’t familiar with the Nespresso brand either Mel, wanna wrap my knuckles or something?
Cut us some slack, those of us who work in offices get free coffee:D I still don’t go near the stuff.
lol…no worries Mel. Twas all in fun, my dear!
And beware of that tommyjules fella. *gives suspicious glare in tommy’s direction* “Wanna wrap my knuckles or SOMETHING?” Uh-huh. Yeah. Wrap his SOMETHING! I BET that’s what he wants. lol 😛
lol hey! quit cock blockin avast! You’re just mad you didn’t think of it first!
Nespresso … what a fecking stupid name …then again … Donk isn’t much better … but I’m not trying to sell myself … ugh
Le shrug.
i love your name, it’s so versatile…donkaloo, donkey, donkster, donkalicious. okay, i stop now
You forgot Donky Punch.. lol I’m sorry.. just tryin to kill some time over here..
donkadoodle, donkihote, donknotts, donkedanke^^
Thanks PG 😀
… … donkey punch … I’m just gonna go ahead and ignore that.
Loolz
I hate it when people order specialty drinks ahead of me when I’m waiting to pay for a black coffee .. absolutely hate it.
People who order 10 specialty drinks for their co-workers at small cafes during lunch time should have to wait for me. Seriously, guys.
most norms would let you go ahead of them
OP, some people are just not polite and cheerful until AFTER they have their coffee.
Oooh thanks pg for the ideas!!
I love coffee & my favorite is a cafe ‘Sandra Bullock’
its hot
its dark
& its bitter ~;)
excellent missy, that was my favourite
Is there any story behind the Donk name? Cuz where I come from a donk is nice, round, firm but not too firm, larger than average woman’s rear end, derived from the term Ba-donk-a-donk.
Example: “Man, I seen Nicole the other day, haven’t seen her in a few years, she used to be shaped like a diving board but now the girl got a donk on her!”
Thus concludes prof. TJ902’s lesson in slanguage for the day.
I am so behind in netspeak. Nespresso? Donk? Ba-donk?
You should have said “Jesus? Is it YOU? Why are you dressing like such a clitface? Testing my patience?”
No real story TJ, though … I suppose my rear is adequate.
… what a weird statement.
The following picture has nothing to do with the topic http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_le0wa9uL…
DONKSTURBIA!
http://gossip-celebrity-news.com/wp-conten…
i love the kitty’s suit, very spiffy
I hate it when some computer nerd invents a new word that isnt in the dictionary. I think it is redonkulous.
*Singing at the top of his lungs*
Hey! Ho! And away we go,
Donkey riding, Donkey riding
Hey! Ho! And away we go,
Riding on a Don-keyyyyyyy!
😛
*face palm*
lolol Avast0 et al.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjBNHOF7j8M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QM2PLqMjISs