Get headphones like the rest of us

To the dudes at a north end cafe blasting mostly shitty hip hop remixes on their laptops. I don’t go blasting my music/ tv shows/ movies what have you in cafes and restaurants…know why? Because it’s rude. Not everybody wants to hear your music blasting throughout the cafe. Don’t think so? How would you like it if I started blasting my pop favourites, my ’90s jams, my hospital dramas, my favourite Disney theme songs what have you. Before you go thinking you have a free-standing entitlement to play shit from your laptop remember you would probably be pissed if everybody else acted on that entitlement, so learn some damn manners and get headphones like the rest of us you obnoxious jackasses. —Learn The Social Contract of Cafe Etiquette

This article appears in Feb 22-28, 2018.