This bitch is for my stupid fucking cat, who I love dearly but is dumb as bricks and driving me nuts.
The bitch cries for food. I put food in her dish. She eats some. Five fucking minutes later she’s on my ass again for more food WHEN THERE’S FOOD IN HER DISH. The bottom of the dish isn’t even showing. No I’m not putting fresh food in your dish every five minutes: you’re pampered beyond belief, but this is insanity! There’s food in your dish. I know your brain’s the size of a pea, but surely it only takes two cells to rub together to realize “hey there’s food in my dish *chomp*!” She inhales the stuff so it’s not like she doesn’t like the damn food.
Fucking cat.
—Pussy Whipped
This article appears in Apr 2-8, 2009.
Stop feeding the fucking cat!
Do us all a favour and Add some rat poison to the next dish you serve up, no more posting lame bitches about your shitty cat then!
But it’s not fresh! Don’t you know cats own us, not the other way around? For fuck’s sake, don’t give it catnip otherwise it’ll be screaming for munchies.
You’d better do something, kiddo, otherwise your cat will have to use a skateboard to get its massive bulk around.
As far as I know cats can’t read, so writing this bitch to your cat is inane.
Hahahahaha. My cat does this.
Eats like a pig and is as lean as fuck.
My cat has been packing on the pounds lately – I think its time for some pussy aerobics to get my pussy back into shape. She misses her days as a lean, mean pussy machine.
next time the cat starts crying for more food, grab it by the head and fart in its face.
Feed kitty less in one sitting. If nothing else, that will give the cat something to bitch about :P.
Perhaps it’s the sausages and cheese side dishes that’s doing her in. People food is the worst temptation an animal can endure.
hahhahaha preachin’ to the choir… i like to think she just likes it when i watch her eat 🙂
which sounds waaaay weirder when you type it out 🙁
You can always end it with the old school style. Just put the damn cat in a plastic bag and throw it of a bridge, and the go to the nearest pet shop and get a new one.
I’ll bet if you pick her up and pet her she’ll purr instead. kitties need love too. She’s probably wondering what’s wrong with you and your monster sized brain.
Ace Boogie, that was terrible.
You shouldn’t have a cat. Obviously, if the bowl is full, the cat is trying to communicate something ELSE. I suspect it wants attention – you know, a nice scratch for 5 minutes, or a game of chase-the-string, or ANYTHING that’s kind & positive. I would guess that the cat is habituated to getting attention only when there’s food involved, so that’s the only way it knows how to GET your attention. WHO’S supposed to be the smarter species here…?
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next time the cat starts crying for more food, grab it by the head and fart in its face.
Posted by Nice Goin’ Fat on April 2, 2009 at 5:22 P
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That is a psychopathic comment. Ask a psychiatrist.