French fry love, except…

…you use your bare hands to add toppings to my fries. No. Please. Use tongs or wear gloves, I don’t know where your hands have been, and, dude, it must be a health violation. I want to keep coming back, I really do, but this makes me throw up a little in my mouth. —Cootie Patrol

This article appears in Jun 1-7, 2017.