Whatever happened to piping in instrumental elevator music in public places? I realize it was rejected by the baby boomers in favour of “With Or Without You” and “Patio Lanterns” being blasted out of tiny speakers, but now I can’t shop for my groceries without being subjected to a nothing but a public piano for any kid that knows how to play “Heart & Soul” or “Chopsticks” to practice on. With the second Cold War looming upon us and life more hectic than ever, let’s bring back the soothing balm of musical wallpaper in places that suck to be in. —Elevator Rider
This article appears in Mar 22-28, 2018.