Things were great. You couldn’t get enough of me. We went on 7 dates, 4 of them initiated by you, and they were some of the best times I’ve ever had. On the 8th date, we had sex for the first time. There was never a 9th date. You didn’t return my calls and I never heard from you again. Clearly, you just wanted to fuck me and that was that. My question is why did you wait after 8 dates?! I would’ve slept with you much sooner, but it was you who wanted to wait. Just recently, I saw you at a pub with some other guy. I wanted to warn him about you, but I had too much class and maturity to make a scene in a public place. My guess is that you’re a sociopath who gets a kick out of stringing people along and then dumping them when you get what you want out of them. —Self-Serving Chick Kicks Sensitive Guy to the Curb
This article appears in Dec 1-7, 2011.
I’m…trying to see the problem here…You go ahead and warn that poor fella. Damn NSA sex! The horror!
This situation sucks, OB, but it sounds like you didn’t exactly rock her socks off…. either technique-wise, or physically.
Not saying this to be mean, just saying that sometimes people don’t have sexual chemistry with each other. And it’s not exclusive to you — I’m sure you’ve rocked other ladies’ socks off, but you likely just didn’t do it for her. I’ve had great chemistry with guys that other ladies didn’t have any with. The sex was great for me, but they didn’t really feel the same way and vice verse.
Really though, the bitch handled it all wrong. I’m really sorry this happened to you, but it’s a common thing, unfortunately. I know lots of people (usually ladies, though) that have sex with someone they’re dating for 8-9-10 dates for the first time and then things go sour on the guy’s part. It’s scary and can make it hard to open up to someone else again.
Also: kudos for being too classy to confront the chick’s new guy. You deserve MUCH better than this c-unt.
Good luck, OB!
Sorry OP , Not Cool 🙁 Don’t worry You’ll find a lady to love you right, whereas she will find a nasty case of herpes 🙂 I hate chicks like that! Rarr!
Maybe you were a shitty lay.
Relationships are built on many important things and good sex is one of them. She clearly doesn’t like your style in bed, OP.
It’s not you. But it’s not her either. It’s you AND her. The system is flawed. She probably should have said something instead of just disappearing. That ISN’T cool. But as to her right to decide whether you’re the right sexual partner for her? She is well within her right to not want to date someone she doesn’t enjoy fucking.
On to the Next, “Sensitive Guy”.
Stay clear of that Black Widow and get yourself checked, I’m sure this maybe her M.O.
While in university my best friend was “the dream machine” ~ the looks of a model, awesome personality, and old money listed in Canada’s Who’s-Who……. after a few dates the girls would bail out on him……..the issue? STINKY FEET! When he took his socks off the room would be enveloped in the most vile stank imaginable.
To this day when he comes to visit we laugh about this and he has since discovered it is a medical condition that is being treated. Geezuz, I still get wafts of those puppies every now and then and send him a text to see if he is in the neighbourhood!
Sounds like he slept with you, discovered he doesn’t like pussy, and is now gay. 🙂
Just that easy is it, huh Sebbie. I guess you were lucky that you found out at an early age…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqA4cb60rWc
Introducing the troll who couldn’t troll right.
I’m thinking she thought you stunk in Bed. Maybe more practice on your part is required.
It might be strictly the sex but I dunno.. she could at least give him a second try, and I think she would if it was just that and she really liked him otherwise. The first time with a new partner isn’t always the best, I find it usually takes a little while to get where you want to be with a new person.
She just sounds like a NSA girl, but she doesn’t want to be a “first date” type of girl.. definitely somewhat cruel. If she had let OP know from the get that this was the case she could have spared his feelings. Some people get a kick out of doing this kind of shit to people.
We as guys need to stop assuming every girl wants long term commitment, because it always takes us by surprise when girls do this kind of thing, however in this case all signs pointed to her wanting to pursue some kind of relationship with OP.
Shit happens OP, just learn from it and try and spit that bitter taste out of your mouth or it will have a negative effect on you going forward.
Well, it is a hard thing when this happens but it does happen. Sometimes the chemistry just isn’t in the air when it comes to the mechanics of sex. I agree with the top poster that I think men are historically use to women looking for someone to marry that this just isn’t the case any longer. Sometimes women just want sex just like men. Who knew?? lol
However, sometimes there are concerns on the girls part before sex and the lack of chemistry just solidified that there was no future.
Men have been doing this for years, so lets not put a scarlet letter on this womens chest so quickly. Shit happens!
You should all her or email her and ask her why, and ask for the truth if your ready to hear it.
I don’t think anyone’s putting a scarlet letter on this women, Robyn — you can’t force chemistry, feelings and relationships, but you can still have the basic decency to not dine and dash.
No one deserves that shit.
I agree with everything Robyn says except the last part, don’t call or e-mail her, it doesn’t matter why, don’t try to understand her actions, you’ll just drive yourself crazy.
Just carry on and don’t let it effect you or your self esteem.
People are dogging the girl saying that he should have told the new guy about her. That is scarlet lettering her. She just wasn’t into him after they had sex. It hurts but we have to dust ourselves off and carry on.
The dating world is a beast with many ups and downs.
Um…. where did anyone say he should’ve dogged her out to the other guy beside the *obviously * facetious comment made by furious styles?
In fact, some of us gave the guy props for keepin’ it classy and not saying anything.
LIke I said: so what if she’s not into him after they had sex — that doesn’t mean she’s not kind of a c-unt for treating him like a worthless piece of garbage.
This guy did nothing wrong here — he has every right to bitch about the way she treated him. If YOU, robyn, think this is acceptable behaviour as a human being, than you really need to evaluate your sense of what’s decent and what’s not.
And Robyn, yes, guys have been doing this forever, and women have been calling those guys (sometimes all guys) dogs, players, dirty dick and whatnot for just as long, so why shouldn’t we be able to call her a bitch?
I’m not saying she’s a bitch I’m just saying she’s not exempt from criticism just because guys do it too. Yeah, some of us do, and the women we do it to aren’t above calling us names and warning other women about us, sometimes going as far as destroying or damaging property and spreading false rumors, even filing false charges! I’ve seen this happen.
That being said OP did the right thing taking the high road, never give someone the satisfaction of knowing they hurt your feelings.
she saved you a meaningless christmas present to buy.
splurge what you would have spent on her… on yourself…. and cheer up.
or buy a bottle and drown that shit full force.
you got the flog… now drink some nog
The playing field is even now in the dating world between men and women. So maybe we don’t need to call anyone names anymore? Even if this was a man that did this to a women I would respond the same way. She went on 8 dates, if sex is all she wanted she could have made that happen on date one or two. She was giving him a chance. I have always said, if everyone was for everyone – no one would be alone. Chemistry is powerful.
Silly question – what does OP stand for? New here… 🙂
op=original poster ob=original bitch
OP = Original Poster AKA OB = Original Bitcher
Hahaha…I see we are thinking alike again pain-sis-girl.
Have YOU ever done it, Thomas?
*glares*
I agree, Robyn that chemistry is powerful, and in no way is this chick a bad person for not wanting to be with OB. I mean, I know a few guys who, on paper are seemingly awesome for me (and vice verse), but the right kind of chemistry just isn’t there (on my part, at least). It happens.
But seriously, OP, 8 dates??? Whatever happened to actually taking the time to get to know someone before bumping uglies?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – ain’t nuthin’ worse than encountering someone who turned out to be a person who you would NEVER allow to see you naked and, ahem, in full performance AFTER you’ve indulged in said cringe-worthy behaviour.
waterlady… at 8 dates, we’re talking over a month… and maybe closer to two.
I can only imagine the texting etc… going on in between.
I’m pretty sure they’re (or WERE rather) fairly well acquainted with each other by that point.
http://www.lolkittys.com/sitebuilder/image…
It’s not the fact that she stopped seeing him it’s the fact that she couldn’t just be a grown up and have a conversation and tell him it wasn’t right. That hurts.
This scenario PK? No, I’ve had this done to me except it wasn’t 8 dates it was a whole summer of her calling me every single day without fail, taking trips with me, introducing me to her family and then vanishing like a fart in the wind, no explanation, no convo, some half assed explanation that she thought she’d share with my friends behind my back a year later. To be honest it still fucks with me from time to time.
But to answer your question I’ve never misled anyone, no.
“The playing field is even now in the dating world between men and women. So maybe we don’t need to call anyone names anymore?”
Even? In a perfect world, Robyn. There will always be advantages and disadvantages on both sides.
Why shouldn’t we call a spade a spade? What she did was inconsiderate. If I really liked a girl I would probably give her a second shot if the sex wasn’t great the first go round. If not (like if it was really, really bad) I would at least have the maturity to say “sorry, this has run its course” instead of just ducking calls and not returning texts, that’s little kid shit.
So I’m calling a spade a spade, she sounds like a selfish, inconsiderate and immature little bitch. I’d say the same thing if a guy did this to a girl.
You know, after 8 dates she should have at least answered the phone or emailed you and told you she wanted to move on. My after thought.
After all this talk, I would like to know from the OP how she rated on the sex meter? 🙂 lol
Not a question I would usually ask however, that is what it is about. Maybe the OP was being kind to even call her back.
Tommy is actually posting logical useful information? I’m both shocked and impressed. Did you lay off the roids today tommy? I’m proud of you….so very very proud. I kid I kid…I got mad love for you tommy….real mad love.
Clearly this bitch proves that women are evil and mean. Only women are capable of such douche like actions (this is troll bait…please comment angrily so I can amuse myself by trolling). Anyone who bases a relationship off sex/looks is pathetic. Fat chicks need love too amirite?
op..you were judged ..and found wanting
aww the lizard’s in love http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_dRnLDhNZ6dU/TOdV…
“After all this talk, I would like to know from the OP how she rated on the sex meter? 🙂 lol”
AHAHAHA ME TOO.
Oh Thomas 🙁 That’s awful, and my number one reason for being single. You can’t get your heart broken if you don’t use it. 😀
I’ve got nothing against mixed marriages, PG, but it’s frequently hard on the kids…
http://images.wikia.com/godzilla/images/7/…
Triple Zed, I fail to see the difference between having 8 dates in the space of a week plus a day or spread out over 2 months. Eight dates is still 8 dates. Not enough, in my opinion, to really get to know if this is someone you’d even want to see you naked. But I have noticed that in the Age of Casual Sex that no one really gives a flying fig anyway so WTF.
lol I guarantee I’d be locked up by now if I was on the roids, Zilla. Scary thought.
I still don’t think this is strictly about the sex, I think she’s just a tough one to hold down and doesn’t want to get attached to people, but also doesn’t want to be a one night stand bar slut. Maybe it was bad though, and that made it easier for her to flee. It just doesn’t sound as simple as bad sex to me.
Ah, heartbreak builds character, PK. At least we’re not bitter right? 😛
“Sunny days wouldn’t be special, if wasn’t for rain. Joy wouldn’t feel so good, if it wasn’t for pain”
haha “think of the children”
Everyone has different rules and standards for themselves OC. Some ppls could really not care less about being seen naked or whatever. Am I one of those people? No comment.
sealady..
that’s quite likely because you don’t text… or at least not very much.
See these youngin’s these days… text like mad fiends.
It’s like a coke habit to them…. and a LOT can be learned and said between two texters in the run of a month.
they may have only had 8 dates, but they likely had quite LONG conversations in between.
Again, I’m guessing at this point… but it’s a possibility.
Think of it like the retro age.
You may have only had 8 dates in 2 months with a mate in your teens….
but what if you talked to him/her on the phone every night for 5 hours straight?
you know each other a lot more than you would if you only talked to them while ON a date.
that’s the difference I was getting at.
http://troll.me/images/crazy-girlfriend-pr…
Yeah, yeah, I know Thomas.
But in the back of your mind you’ve always got the “this sun won’t last forever and this joy might go *poof* at any minute” nagging. 🙁
And OC — I can tell that you’re older and I think there’s a bit of a generational gap here. I see it with my mom and her generation — 8 ‘dates’ spread out over a few months does mean that you’ll likely text, talk over the internet, etc… and get to know each other that way. Heck I started dating a guy when I was in Ottawa and we only went on our first official date three months after we got together… but it was like meeting someone I’ve known for a lot longer than you’d expect for one date.
My main correspondence with donarious is usually over the web — has been since we became bffs. That’s how we really got to know each other — and it’s not uncommon for us to sit down and watch the same tv shows from different places and comment on them over FB chat… it’s just a new way of forming relationships these days.
That being said, I’ve learned enough over my dating/relationship years that 8 dates wouldn’t be nearly enough for me if I expected anything to come of it.
I IS older, but I know lots of older people who are texters, so while more young people may be engaged that way, don’t count out us oldies. We are equally entitled and capable of adapting to addictive behaviour as younguns.
Oh I know, but it wasn’t part of the culture while you were growing up. It gets more rooted into your brain/bones when you grow up with something.
Hmm the sex was bad. And not first time jitters bad. It was bad enough that she couldnt face you. It happens. It wont happen with everyone. Don’t become bitter, just move on. I slept with a guy I was dating and he was awesome on the dates, and the sex felt.. just so awful that the next day the only way I could describe it was ‘creepy, crawly, violated’. It just didnt mesh with his personality and what I had felt before that. Months later he verbally attacked me asking why he wasnt good enough for me. Its not a matter of being good enough or not, everyone else is right – chemistry is what matters.
yes… it’s all about the chemistry….
http://io9.com/5864876/well-breaking-bad–…
Ok so right now only 3 people have responded to my summit invite, both via email and facebook.
Hurry the eff up and RSVP, people!
Who cares, it’s one chick? Quit being a whiny pussy ass little bitch and go find some hottie to revenge fuck.
I will PK, when I get home later. Can’t FB from work.. well I CAN but I’m not supposed to so I choose not to.
BAHAHA it’s a’ight, Thomas! I’m just trying to light a fire under SOME people’s arses.
It’d be nice to have a good turn out for sure. Especially being the season.
Don’t stress over her OP. The day will come when the right woman for you will come into your life.
Welcome to the dating world. What use to be known for male behavior is something women do now too. Just hope the next woman isn’t the same.
OP, i had a similar situation happen to me but we hooked up a month later. While she was sleeping, i wiped my dick on her curtains and went home.
lol you should have gave her an upper decker while you were at it GV.
GV… yer a classy one
Sometimes bad sex is enough to deter someone. When it’s really bad, like secretagent said, you feel violated and get creeped out. It’s an awkward horrible feeling and the gal the OP is talking about just should have dealt with it and told the sensiman how she felt even though it would be a horrible situation, rather than snubbing him but I have a feeling he would write a bitch about that too.
Leveticus SEB doesn’t know how to read either.
Brother Ivan, we know that no lady would touch Seb. His lifestyle choice was probably influenced by hanging around with random “uncles” as a child and being told to “walk it off.”
LMFAO D-Man. I’m surprised my link is still up, what with all them Christers thinking that HP promotes satanism. >; )
“The day will come when the right woman for you will come into your life.”
No offense, MissPinky, but that’s the biggest pile of crap I’ve ever heard in my life.
“LMFAO D-Man. I’m surprised my link is still up, what with all them Christers thinking that HP promotes satanism. >; )”
Ah crap. I meant to write:
“Yeah yeah yeah. Hewlitt Packard definitely up on Bohemian Grove shiz. Or that HP promotes it b/c Leveticus SEBs gotta play devil’s advocate b/c, you remember, God abhors his lifestyle.”
“Devil’s Advocate” – still makes me LMFAO >: )
I can’t see “LMFAO” ever again without thinking of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyx6JDQCslE
Which I watched for the first time after copious amounts of wine… gah – I need mind bleach – though it does make me laugh hysterically. Which one is Seb? The one with the box on his head, do ya think?
LMFAO is horrible.
I think this may answer a lot of our questions…
http://www.opposingviews.com/i/technology/…
yikes and after only one date
I better be careful, I do play with my hair often.
i do too mel http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__wgTdCCrfeY/TFGm…
People be all kinds of crazy…
i met and had i great few hours in the afternoon in march of 2009, her name is ANNE, and she would be 50 by now and so want to reunite with her, she pent 22 yrs in prison, lost her breasts to breast cancer and when i saw her passing by on the street my intentions were on afternnon fun, but was too over heels to even want to that when we got back to my place, we shared pizza and a 8 pack of beer, she played guitar and we share parts of things we have been through in life, and to this day i can even imagine how hard it was for her to say to me, john i have to tell u something, she was tearing up, the compose herself so fast and said john i’m hiv +, me being stunned at this said kissing is ok though, i know of only way getting is by bodily fluid exchanging, which is what she said after i said about kissing, but i hope this didn’t push her away, has she took i geuss at my age and guessed 24, really 32 then and maybe she thought that her being 47, her thinkin me 24 , that it was best if she let me just not be with her, so i did pass out b 4 she left, as i had 2 valium pills but b 4 she left, i gave her some $ to help her out, so i do rember b 4 she left she says john i have to get going , i can give u back some of ur $ if u want, i woke up three hrs later and 30$ was on my pillow, anne did leave me a phone #, i tried it a few days later and it was not hers, but i may have misdialed the #, has i recently looked at the piece of paper with the # she wrote on it, and doesn’t look like at all the # i rang, i googled this # and up came on caller id the name MARTIN, ANNE, so here is how i’m standing, i’m really so scared to dial, because i would be so heart broken if this # is not right, but by the info that came up on my laptop, it does look like its my little ANNE.
Sorry, what was that JR?
How many more of these bullshit dates do ya gotta go on before realizing that ALL MEN SUCK and NEVER PUT YOUR FAITH IN ANY OF THEM EVER!!! Figure out this piece of priceless info and you’ll live happily ever after.
With your cats.