Ok, to anyone who read the paper at the doctor’s office, car repair shop, Burger King/Tim’s (you see where I am going with this) and did not put it back together, please stop being an inconsiderate dick. Just tidy up the pages and put the sections in alphabetical order. If you don’t have the motivation to do it make a game of it and pretend it’s Humpty Dumpty.
— The Orderly Reader
This article appears in Jun 11-17, 2009.
So that’s why the sections are labeled A, B, C…
Also, the paper is free for you if you`re reading it in these establishments. If you want it perfectly intact then how about you go buy one for yourself? That way no more stress of having to put humpty dumpty back together again!
I am definitely one of those people.
Yeh! And while you’re at it, get them to clean off the table, push the chairs in, and… and… give me a break.
Betcha you couldn’t pull a needle out of your tight little sphincter without a fucking tractor – light up, you’ll fucking live longer.
Oops – that should be lighten up but you can light up if ya want – sounds like you need the spliff the size of a coffee table leg.
I’m guilty of one of those people. I’ll just take the section I want…Read it…Put it back on top of the paper. No big deal in my mind. Thats why the sections come apart… If they wanted it all in one piece they would of made a paper like that.
I agree that it is annoying to have to search for the page you need, but that’s how it goes when you are reading a free paper like that. I agree with xox…if it bothers you that much, go buy one beforehand.
Ok I am actually really curious as to other things that this person hates.
I mean if you’re the type of person that goes through life caring that random newspaper trash isn’t in alphabetical order…
Just sayin.
And if you HAVE to take the newspaper to the washroom with you, for the love of jesus, PLEASE don’t put it back, in the kitchen, AT WORK, when you’re finished. That’s fucking disgusting. You’re fucking disgusting, douchebag. Who I work with.
PS Who seriously gives a fuck if the newspaper sections are in their original order?
Qwerty! Where the fuck have you been and how the hell are ya?
Ok, well I am the person who wrote that bitch and these are the other things I hate Mole Rat…
1) The song Womanizer by Brittany Spears. 2) Shaving my bum because no matter how hard I try I always miss spots. 3) What Sasha Cohen did to Eminem. Not because I like Em, but because he was dressed like an angel when he did it. 4) People leaving church when the choir has not finished their final performance. 5) The doctor asking “so what do you do for a living” when I am having my yearly genital exam. 6) Paper and soap, for no good reason I just do not like them. 7) Hendrick Zetterburg and Kyle Busch. I don’t like Zetter because he is a cheating 2nd goalie. I don’t like Busch because he broke that guitar.
Mole, that just about does it. I am just a normal person to tell the truth.
I hate being asked on Monday mornings what I did on the weekend. One of these days I’m going to say 1 of 2 things: “mind your own fucking business” or “I fucked my boyfriend like, 18 times. In the ass. It was hot.” I hate people who fidget in elevators. I hate tuna burgers. I hate 24 hour news channels. I fucking hate lame ass motherfucking jokes. I hate people who speak in cliches and jargon; if I hear the term “value-added” once more this week, I’m going to spit.
Hey TTFN, I’m just fine, how the hell are you?
Come on everyone don’t be affraid, all this is good for the soul…
I never put it back together (muwahahaha!) and if it’s not together to begin with, I don’t care because I didn’t have to pay for it. Just go buy one yourself if you want it to be so put-together and neat, dude.
1) The song Womanizer by Brittany Spears.
– Fair enough.
2) Shaving my bum because no matter how hard I try I always miss spots.
– You have a hairy bum too??? We have so much in common!
3) What Sasha Cohen did to Eminem. Not because I like Em, but because he was dressed like an angel when he did it.
– I hate angels too.
4) People leaving church when the choir has not finished their final performance.
– No comment.
5) The doctor asking “so what do you do for a living” when I am having my yearly genital exam.
– Agreed with this…like they fucking care…it just makes me more aware that PAIN is coming
6) Paper and soap, for no good reason I just do not like them.
– To each their own I guess?
7) Hendrick Zetterburg and Kyle Busch. I don’t like Zetter because he is a cheating 2nd goalie. I don’t like Busch because he broke that guitar.
– I don’t know who these people are.
Well I guess you’ve made your point, we all have wierd little idiosyncrasies. I hate when people reload the toilet paper with the end at the back.
So….how WAS your weekend Qwerty? Eat any Tuna burgers? I did.
I hate words that begin with “nano-” or end with “-omics” (it’s a nerd thing). You can imagine how I would feel about nanomics if it was a real thing. I hate toilet paper hung in the improper overhand fashion. I also hate people who spit on the sidewalk and the spit that people put on the sidewalk. I don’t hate much else, other than being sober on a perfectly good Friday.
Not bad for an old stoner, Qwerty. I just keep rolling, rolling, rolling along.
I hate streetcorner bums who look at the rest of us as suckers to support their fucking addictions, I hate pencil-necked bosses who need to control rather than delegate, I hate people who think their cell phone conversations should be heard by every person in downtown Halifax, I hate crowded elevators and able-bodied people who use them to go one floor – oh, fuck, I could go on ad naseum…and it’s waaay too early in the morning.
Well I have come up with a solution to my problem. I have given this some thought and since no one can suggest a solution I am happy with I have decided to buy the paper myself, that way it is all put-together and neat just the way I like it.
Arrgghh the one floor elevator user – I forgot about them. They are the WORST! With the cell phone loud talker not far behind… The one positive is that being around them is great exercise for my eyeballs.
Why yes I did, Miles, which is how I know I hate them. Blech. How was yours? Not President’s Choice, I hope.
Never mind about newspapers astray in the doctor’s offices, the next one who wants to read it in there, has ppplenty of time to arrange it before he/she gets called in for his rectal :o)
Gives him/her more time to get what’s coming off their minds…But…husbands,bfs/live-ins, for cripe sake, pick up the paper, fold it neatly, and put it back in the rack!!…and while ur at it, bring ur socks out of the room, and while you’re on your way to the laundry room, push your chair back under the dinner table where it belongs…geesh!!…And yes, it does matter…
Not like when i try on outfits at Walmart…if they want me to try and buy, they will pick up after ME and put back on the hangers…I’m not paid to clean up for any store….I pay them…to have the work done for me…:o)…especially when i go into “any” store to try on clothes, and read a Threat to all customers about pocketing their goods…I can see how many friends i would have today, if they went into my bathroom and i had a sign up on the walls, threatening them if they stole anything, like,,hmmm, nail polish, toothpaste, ah..toilet paper..that they can be charged as criminals in a court of law..that sign pisses me off…but not as much as the sign that reads…You Break…You Buy!!..What a frkn insult that one is..NO…I Break..I put back on ur frkn shelves…