To the guy at ’90s Night NYE who took my favourite Weathermate brand vintage grey wool coat instead of your own from coat check that night: please please please return it the coat check there, they have my info. You found my eyedrops in one of the pockets, and I know your coat is still sitting in the downstairs coat check. You know who you are. Don’t leave it sitting in your closet as some NYE souvenir while I’m left out in the cold without a winter coat. —Coatless For The New Year
This article appears in Jan 9-15, 2020.
You forever missed out on using “Coatastrophe”