I‘m cleaning my motorbike in my driveway. Kids walk by, one of them looks at me, crosses onto my lawn and dumps my compost bin over. I chased him, but am out of shape. I will catch him and paddle his little ass. Call the police—I don’t care. Kids are not held responsible, so I will make him responsible.
—Leave my property alone
This article appears in Aug 1-7, 2019.
Better to ignore the dumb little fucks than chase them. First world problem.
After you finish washing your motorbike, ride it to the gym…