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To the jerk that dumped me after he found out I had cancer. I have never felt so broken hearted and alone in my whole life. I hope you never have to go through what I am going through. I really loved you.
—All alone and suffering
This article appears in Mar 26 – Apr 1, 2009.
72 Comments
Holy good god! May that fucked up bastard burn in hell! That just ruined my day, I can’t believe people like that actually exist..christs sake. I wish you all the best and will be praying for your recovery. People like that don’t know the first thing about love and life.
That’s terrible! Don’t be alone and lonely, give me a call and I’ll take you out for a banana split!
🙁
What’s the dude’s name so I can go tear him a new asshole? At the very least he should be impaled on a long, pointy stick.
“tear him a new asshole”…lmfao
Be glad the fuckers gone. He’s a coward.
Anton sounds adorable…”banana split”. You rock.
I nominate this for being a valid breakup bitch. Let this be a lesson to all who read this and think that your breakup is bad. It could be a whole helluva lot more worse.
WOW…& I thought my diagnosis today of peptic ulcers sucked.
I know this is no help…but you really are better off without the BASTARD .
I agree with Fever. This is the benchmark. Anything higher is valid.
but did he break up with you BECAUSE you have cancer?
You need a supportive partner not a coward who runs away when there’s a crisis like this. I only hope you have good friends and family to support you through this very difficult time. Please keep us updated on your progress, sweetie – I truly feel for you. This is just not right.
If I’m looking for a life mate your cancer disqualifies you. I’m sorry you’re hurt, lonely and afraid but let’s face it, can you really blame him for being unwilling to make further emotional investment just to watch you struggle with a terrible, painful disease? Is that in line with what he wants in a life partner? Probably not. You wouldn’t want that either. There are two sides to this story and the other side is plain… he didn’t love you and that sux. Now, would you have it any other way?
Introduce such a complex problem into life and we see who true friends are… and are not. Sorry to hear your news. Be well.
You’re not alone my dear, us bitches will be here for you.
I have kidney failure do I get a banana split too Anton? Seriously though I can somewhat relate to your problem because I suffered from cervical cancer last year and alot of my friends just ditched me because they couldn’t deal with it. I now have kidney failure due to the chemo and its really hard when life seems to kick you in the ass everytime you turn around. If you ever need someone to chat with about the cancer issues I’m here for you.
I can’t believe kay just said that.
We should all get together for banana splits and discuss our issues.
Kay— you are a truly horrible person. I really hope you get cancer at some point in your life and have everyone leave you. Cancer cannot be controlled. Sometimes it just happens. I was side by side with my fiancee as she suffered through her breast cancer. It only solidified our relationship.
Good for you Fever. Fuck off.
Hey… this isn’t the stroke my broken ego board and little angels aren’t here to make you feel better. We’re bitches, dammit! Here I am bringing some reality to this bitch and oooo bad Kay bad Kay.
I’m sorry but you dropped a mammoth ongoing problem onto your relationship and I wonder if you could even give him children? It’s not your fault but it’s not his either.
Kay, ask yourself what you would want in a partner. Someone who can fair stormy weather or a fucking coward as your suggesting. Life isn’t all going to be healthy and happy until the day we die. “give him children”…what the fuck? Don’t people have children because they want them together? If she can’t “give him children” then your suggesting she’s not relationship material? God that sounds like something from the dark ages.
Did you consider I’m speaking from experience? Did you consider I’ve been-there-done-that, had many people disappear form my life and that my reasoning is sound and true?
Fever hardly ever takes my advice… lucky day. Watch out darlin’, Karma’s watching for you now… wishing cancer on Kay… tsk tsk tsk
Kay, you’re such an asshole.
I have a handicapped mate who in pain 24/7 and yet undiagnosed after three years – walking is a total struggle and most of the time he’s in a wheelchair. I didn’t expect my life to turn out like this and as stressful as it is at times, I wouldn’t dream of not being here for him.
Perhaps you should join a cancer support group – they could help you through this time with full understanding. Best wishes to you, kid. Be strong.
But, Jai, an asshole is USEFUL!
Actually, you’re referencing Karma inappropriately. Go read a book.
Yeah, an asshole who’s been there and done that. Actually, you can call me a survivor. You should LEARN from me, bitches.
Kay, you aren’t bringing reality, you are bringing your usual brand of shit disturbance. I don’t think you even believe half the stuff you write, you just pick something you think will be provocative and annoy everyone as you try to defend it. This, of all threads, is the most inappropriate for you brand of “reality”. Shame on you.
Hmm, so is a twat.
Depends who you ask
I’ll ask my turds when they’re screaming to come out.
Yes TTFN… go amuse yourself with your own shit. How fitting.
I agree Dr Fever shouldn’t be wishing cancer on you or anyone, people say shit like that on here all the time. I always hope they don’t mean it. This woman is going through a very difficult time “all alone and suffering” I just thought, and mostly everyone else here too, she could use some support. I’m sorry you’ve “been there done that”. Not sure if that means you did what her ex boyfriend did or identify with her. She’s is definitely better off without him. If he can’t handle this, then he’s the one that is not relationship material.
OP, you are not alone in having being dumped after a cancer diagnosis. It happens far too frequently. Many people can’t handle hanging around/being with someone who has a cancer diagnosis because it makes them “feel bad,” because you know your cancer diagnosis is all about them – really this is how they think. It’s unbelievable, yet true. They are narcissistic, self-centered and lack the capacity for empathy – they are incapable of seeing beyond their own wants, desires and needs.
You’ll need support – try to find a support network. Talk to your oncologist/a social worker/clergy person or someone who has lived with a cancer diagnosis – they can help hook you up.
Just know that though things suck majorly right now, and you feel alone there are people out there who can be wonderful sources of support and strength.
Oh, and Kay – your right this is a bitch site. But anyone with a brain can determine when it s appropriate respond like a bitch and when it is more appropriate to respond like a human. Grab some balls and try and act like a human.
How many different “brands of reality” are there? The everybody wins and nobody loses kind of reality we’re teaching the kids days? *rolls eyes*
Well, Kay, there’s reality, and then there’s the internet reality where Kay can be/think/feel whatever Kay want’s because Kay isn’t accountable to anyone, so Kay can be an ass.
I don’t think the real you is anything like Kay. I think Kay just likes to play on the internet and be provocative and have some fun getting a rise out of people. Lots of people on here are probably like that.
I just don’t think this thread was the place to play that game.
If you wanted to present your opinion in a grown up kind of way, you could have said something like Kit’ did above. Sure, not everyone can deal with a cancer diagnosis. Your comment was insensitive and intende to get just the response you got. Now everyone is paying attention to Kay instead of helping the OP. Congratulations.
Living with cancer is no game. Neither is picking a healthy mate, Miles. I would never wish false relationships on anyone. Like anyone, the OP deserves to have real love and obviously the guy bolted so that’s not it. Why am I a such a bad guy for pointing out we get to choose our partners and we’re smart to choose healthy ones? Getting your head about why something has happened or, in this case, why a person behaves the way they do is half the battle in forgiving them. Softening reality helps no one… ever.
You are right. Reality can be harsh. I’m pretty sure the OP is aware of exactly how harsh reality is right now and doesn’t really need you to make it any harsher. Friends and decent human beings see a situation like the OP’s and try to help them by offering support and trying to make their reality a little less harsh. It’s not sugar-coating a damn thing. It’s dealing with reality with sensitivity and empathy.
You aren’t a bad guy for pointing out that the OP’s guy was not the right one for her. You are a bad guy for pointing that out using the words you did. You basically said “why would someone want to be with someone with cancer”. That’s insensitive and inappropriate and simply not true for all people. Just ask Dr. Fever or TTFN if it’s possible to love someone who is suffering.
Just because someone is suffering doesn’t give you an excuse to hit the road. When you commit to a relationship you stick with that person through thick and thin, and be there for them no matter what. Having cancer doesn’t make one less of a person. If anything it builds both parties stronger in the end.
Hey, Miles, long time no see! Glad to have you back! Now if we could only find poop…
I can’t wait for Qwerty and Poop to come back.
I’ll be honest and tell you I too support a spouse who suffers a great deal every day and I’m powerless to help him. Some days it’s like shooting myself in the stomach (long and painful death) again and again and again but I love him dearly and its the real thing so I stay. Not everybody has my courage or wants a life like mine.
I guess I was hoping the OP would read my words, realize her guy is a human being with healthy instincts and forgive him for it. If she can’t forgive and holds onto the hurt the cancer will kill her.
Bad Kay Bad Kay
Thanks TTFN. I’ve been lurking all winter. You’ve been keeping me in stitches as always. I miss Qwerty and Poopster too >sniff<
Aww, I somewhat feel bad for kay now. Stick with it kay, you’re a good person for supporting your significant other.
By the way, I’ve never met Miles – so hello stranger!
Qwerty! Oh, man, I really miss Qwerty too – Dino Jr., I can give a big thumbs up for Miles. He’s good people and offers lots of good, rational observations.
FYI.. Dino, I’m one of the fairest, healthiest, kindest people you’ll ever meet as the result of a hard life, which is unusual. I learned from it. I learned a lot. I troll here because despite all the pissing matches I believe in what I profess because I’ve actually lived it. I know I can help others become forgiving. I know I can enlighten people, especially young people, on this board so I troll on. I’m imperfect but I need no pity. God gave me very thick skin, a very hot temper and a mouth that just doesn’t stop when it’s right… and I’m working on that, hehe
BTW I think qwerty’s here under another user name. Ginger too.
Kay, Thanks for clarifying your intent. I hope the OP reads it and sees what you really meant by your comments.
Dino thanks for the welcome.
Yeah, me too Miles. Like I said in my first post, be well, OP.
Yeah, I’ve thought that about Qwerty too, but the people I suspect don’t end up having quite the same sense of humour.
As for ginger….she’ll always be reincarnated.
Good one miles hahah.
Qwerty, poop and Miles were the heart and soul of this board for a long time. I have great respect for all three – no one could enliven a board like those three, add one very strange poster, Ginger, and you had pure entertainment.
all lies baby
Sickboy, that was the sketchiest thing I’ve ever seen posted on this board.
I haven’t read any of Querty and Poop’s stuff. I do like TTFN’s, John, ZzZ’s, Miles and yes Kays too, but I think that comes from the same part of my brain that wants to watch a train wreck.
phew… missed quite the pissing match there.
I see Kay’s back to her usual antics.
I’d catch up but at this point it’s been hijacked to a meet-and-greet. I remember reading Miles quite a while ago…. in the lurking years.
Can’t say I miss qwerty though.. she dropped off as soon as I joined. That or chose a new name right around the site switch-a-roo.
Yeah, too bad you missed it zZz, it was intense. We could have used your biting commentary. Kay was up to her usual antics but resolved them by the 40th comment or so.
heh…. I usually only get once a day before work to post since they don’t allow message boards.
I see it brought miles out from hiding though so that’s something. Kay was doing so well…. she actually had people agreeing with her here and there.
Then she took her meds… or stopped taking them…. or took her Hyde potion or something.
Crazy biatch.
I know about the lonely part I have Crohn’s disease with Ilestomy surgery ( No large Intestine, ostomy bag) for over 17 years I lived like this.
Here’s hoping you beat this cancer OP. There are people who can help you through this, and I advise looking them up. The man who left is a douche and will get what he deserves.
“I’m pulling for you. We’re all in this together.” – Red Green
JK – go to a homeopathic doctor – they will prescribe you with small sugary white pills; a friend I knew had Crohn’s and after a while on these it completely went away. Quite a miracle.
Anyone notice that first Ksy said she was a ‘survivor’ (which I’m assuming means she had cancer herself) and then a few posts down it’s suddenly her husband who’s sick? Call me cynical but I can’t help it; wouldn’t she have mentioned these two facts a little earlier? It is, afterall-an anonymous board. I’m noticing a pattern with her; after being slagged by the entire board in that post about prostitution a week or two back, she then suddenly came out with the story of having been an ex prostitute and ex drug user (so suddenly we should all feel there is merit to what she says. Just a hunch- I could be wrong.
I would never leave someone I was in love with because they had cancer- no matter how fresh the relationship…”smart” or not.
Stupid ‘edit comments’ button! That’s Kay, not Ksy
SD– maybe she’s an ex-addict, ex-hooker, cancer survivor with an abusive husband whose going through cancer? Hm. You’re not being cynical.
I highly doubt it. That’s too much karma for one person to handle – she’d be dead by now.
Don’t forget that her husband is a rock star who’s always on tour. Must be tough to work the chemo treatments into that touring schedule.
I should be dead. I’m not. Sorry for your luck you FUCKING BITCHES
BTW If he loved her he wouldn’t have left. Funny how you bitches agree with me and don’t even notice. Idiots.
There you go again kay, twisting words.
Who’s twisting words here? I didn’t say my guy had cancer. I said he suffers daily and he does. I never lie. You can’t trip me up. You people are just plain mean but I’m sure you’ll all get over me if you really try. *rolls eyes*
Scooby doo…..you may have something there.
Speaking of twisting words, I don’t recall the OP ever mentioning that her guy was in love with her…just that she was in love with him. Hm now if I was in love with someone (for realsies) and got cancer and knew they didn’t love me, I think I would want for them what was best for them, not for myself. I’ve heard that it’s a possibility.
So you’re really an ex-hooker that’s survived cancer and beaten an addiction?
Kay still seems to have A LOT to say about everything else but still no explanation here….