Question: Would someone be so shitty as to pretend to be your friend for more than a year just to get in your pants..and never call you again? And I’m not talking acquaintance, ‘we sometimes party together’ friends…I’m talking hangs out with your friends/family and calls to talk for hours on end kinda friends.
Yes, I tried reaching out for some clarification (phoned, emailed). I also wanted to let this person know that if they were freaked by the prospect of me wanting a relationship, that I was ok with chalking it up to a crazy night where we just got carried away…and go back to being bffs again. No answer. Not even so much as a text in response.
Holy flying fuck—to think someone would put on such a convincing act just to get laid has really made me lose faith in basic human decency. It also doesn’t make sense…or does it? It may be worth noting that we are both normal, attractive people, and also, that it seemed like this person had never had actual sex before, even though I can’t see this being the case…ie. was sober but had no idea what to do and seemed incredibly nerved up about the whole thing.
Anyway, since it doesn’t look like I’m going to get any answers—or my bff back—I ask you: if all you want is a NSA hookup, would you not just pick some random where there are no expectations of anything beyond 8am the next day?? —I Guess I Meant Nothing
This article appears in Mar 11-17, 2010.
hmm, how long as it been? maybe they’re embarrassed or nervous about the whole situation. either way, most men are assholes and i wouldn’t be surprised if you were right about him peacing like that. i hope that’s not the case though, give it time if it’s still a fresh wound.
Ummm, how old are you?
Please google “Friend Zone”, “Ladder Theory”, and oh I don’t know maybe “When Harry met Sally”
He’s probably gay… Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
“it seemed like this person had never had actual sex before, even though I can’t see this being the case…ie. was sober but had no idea what to do and seemed incredibly nerved up about the whole thing”
embarrassment can be bad enough to just want to forget the whole thing ever happened. To do that, he’d obviously have to cut you out completely so he doesn’t ever have it come back on him and have to relive the horrible lay.
It’s not always just about pounding the girl and claiming victory ya know…
there’s some fucked up people out there (present company included) that have other issues to work out.
Maybe this person WAS a virgin, OP.
And judging by the fact that they seemed “nerved up” about it, I doubt you were just a pump and dump from the start…they’re probably freaked out about it.
“embarrassment can be bad enough to just want to forget the whole thing ever happened. To do that, he’d obviously have to cut you out completely so he doesn’t ever have it come back on him and have to relive the horrible lay.”
Exactly. Stop making men the enemy. Even if he was the type of guy that just wanted to get down your pants on a one time basis, i can assure you he wouldn’t have waited an entire fucking year for it.
Come on man, really?
wasn’t this bitch on here a week or so, if not, t.f.b., a guy is a guy. and if somehow, you managed to send some kind of signal out, maybe he picked it up. friends are friends, even if they become fuck buddies.yes, here we go with the lib shit in a minute. sue me then.
Maybe he had a small penis and is now too embarassed (did you giggle when he first whipped it out?), or maybe he felt he wasn’t very good and now feels awkward about it or you were just not very good. That’s OK though, because if you’re a hot female, I can teach you a few things, baby!
LS, come on man! Perfect opportunity here…
Most guys wouldn’t put on a one year “act” JUST to get in someone’s pants – I know I wouldn’t. Who are you, Megan Fox? You’re obviously just a bit too emotional at the moment to make any reasonable, logical conclusions, but that’s OK. That’s what we here at LTWWB are for!
Why is everyone assuming the dumper is a guy and the OB is female? No where in the bitch is the gender of either person is identified. It could be male/female or male/male, or female/female?
You took the words right out of my mouth, Tim. Thank you.
OP, why? Why do you do this to us!?
We want to help, but we need to know certain things to do so!
Did you proofread before posting to make sure every sentence was gender nonspecific? The assumption is made that you’re a girl and the person in question is a guy, but we don’t really know and this point of contention infuriates me to no end!
I hate you.
lol
Too little information but the **hangs out with your friends/family and calls to talk for hours on end kinda friends** fits in as a gay teen issue.
wow, I re-read and you are indeed correct…
I just assumed no self-respecting man would use the term BFF…
though I suppose they could be lesbanims.
no q., i’m not touching this one, in any other way than to say what i did. me no get touchy feely today.q. san.
I just can’t see a guy getting this bent out of shape about it unless it’s a One and Done?
Yeah, while everything was “gender-neutral,” the entire post reeks of “asshole guy fucks and chucks poor innocent girl.” That is the most likely scenario. Like zZz mentioned, what self-respecting guy would use the term BFF, or say something like “I guess I meant nothing.” Most guys wouldn’t get this worked up about this sort of thing. We’d just be happy we got some and move on.
“Pump and dump” made me lean on the side of female who got fucked and chucked, because if memory serves me correct, penises usually do the “pumping,” do they not?
kitty, last time i checked, they did too. but that’s a whole nother bitch, right.
Dearest Nothing,
He’s my theory: The guy was your friend for a good while and finally got to sleep with you, but being a virgin (or close to it), he was awkward in bed, he knew it, and was mortified.
Sober as he was, he was robbed of a “get out of jail free card” (i.e. I’m so sorry, I was drunk, I’m usually better than that) and didn’t really have any other excuse other than admitting he wasn’t very experienced. He probably should have done so, but understandably didn’t, SO:
You should call him and ask him straight up what happened. If he continues to deny it, shitty, but at least you tried and now the ball is entirely in his court. If you don’t do that, his embarrassment may prevent him from ever contacting you again (i.e. he will bite off his nose despite his face), and you will both be worse off.
Whatever you think, he sounds like a great person, and if you’ve been as close friends as it sounds, both of you deserve to give the can at least another kick.
Sincerely,
Mr. Man Landers