So I realize that I probably won’t get much sympathy here, but this board exists solely to “bitch” and get things off your chest, right?
Let me first explain that I am a former smoker and most of my friends smoke. I have no problem with smokers, I don’t care when people are walking down the street or standing in the designated area smoking, etc.
However, I was what I like to think of as a ‘respectful smoker’, and I think there are ways you can go about smoking without infringing on the airspace of others. And as a now non-smoker, I deeply appreciate respectful smokers.
That being said, I am (very visibly) pregnant and I have had the biggest bitch of a time dealing with smokers lately. If I am sitting in a bus shelter, on the bench, a smoker will walk up, plop down next to me or stand RIGHT beside me and light up. Or if I am standing in the doorway of a business, people will cling to the entryway to smoke in groups like the early explorers who were afraid that if they lost sight of land, they’d fall off the edge of the earth. Or my favorite, the bus drivers who hop off and light up by the door, blowing their smoke into the bus.
So my bitch is this: smoke til your heart’s content, I don’t care and it doesn’t normally bother me, but I shouldn’t have to stand my pregnant ass in the cold, rain and wind so that you can smoke in an area where you legally aren’t allowed to. I can’t imagine ever having the mind frame (even as a smoker) that I should walk up to a pregnant woman, an elderly person or a child and choose that ONE spot to smoke my cigarette.
So people can rip me apart all they want but that won’t change the fact that it takes a real scumbag to be that inconsiderate.—Thanks for reading
This article appears in Oct 21-27, 2010.
Why are smoking bitches gettin’ so mu’fuckin’ long?
actually as a former smoke I think you have a legit bitch; peeps shouldn’t be smoking right beside anyone let alone a prego
reformed smokers, gotta kill them,er’ love them maybe. fuck, it’s too early for this shit. gotta get a coffee and 5 smokes. and what happened to the bitch before this on , moddy?about the blow up love doll. shit i wanted to check out the responses, need a largh today, damn, where did i put that coffee pot.
I agree with this one actually. We ain’t supposed to be smoking in bus shelters (and a whole lot of other places) So, why do it. It isn’t nice. Bring an umbrella and stand outside like some of us do… when I was taking transit I tried to stand as far away from people as possible. I hated when people with little kids sought me out, stood next to me, then began coughing very loudly. Again, a two way street…
jebus martym, don’t go all religeous on us now hey. some smoke, some drink, some just are assholes. but you know yourself, there are respectful people out there.
What we need is an execution squad to shoot smokers on sight, in fact, shoot any damn dirty puffer twice in the face if they happen to sit near a pregnant woman – hey, why not? Who cares if it’s legal??? Get over yourself, princess, there’s a lot more in the air to worry about than one fucking cigarette. People are such pussies these days – I smoked while carrying all three kids who – GASP – actually made it to adulthood! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?????
Nothing worse than a reformed smoker.
I hear ya BT… worse than a non-smoker any day of the week! I think it’s because they still wish they did smoke and are jealous… but that might just be me.
Smoke until your heart’s content, filled with black tar and cancer cells.
I quite disagree, TTFN. Your kids were obviously lucky, but the evidence shows that smoking can pose serious risks for a fetus and anyone who would smoke near a preggo is just an asshole.
I know plenty of smokers and none of them light up around kids or pregnant women — one lives in an area where smoking in restaurants is still allowed but won’t light up when kids or pregnant women are present because he said that he might be a smoker, but he’s not an asshole.
Why do smokers get so bloody defensive when a non-smoker complains about a smoker smoking in an area where they’re not supposed to smoke? It’s almost like you guys believe the non-smoker is the one doing something wrong.
I think it’s really stupid that Metro Transit doesn’t enforce its non-smoking rule at terminals. The smell of smoke is disgusting and makes me cough. With so much in the air already why do we have to add to it? ( really hope you see what I did there)
Smoking is disgusting and about as anti-healthy as you can get. Stop this last gasp (hah) attempt at defending this horrible habit.
YOu know what would be an AWESOME photo op in the coast? A picture of the bus drivers who stand right below the “no smoking” sign at the mumford terminal with a smoke in their mouthes.
I don’t care who smokes — people can smoke until they’re blue in the face, but I just find it ironic how representatives of Metro Transit blatently break the law while on the job. Just sets kind of a shitty example.
“Why do smokers get so bloody defensive when a non-smoker complains about a smoker smoking in an area where they’re not supposed to smoke? It’s almost like you guys believe the non-smoker is the one doing something wrong.”
OMFG I agree. My thoughts exactly.
By that logic, PK, most of us born in the 1950s and 1960s should be rightfully dead because of our rotten smoking parents. Geeze, maybe they should have locked them away and sent us poor abused kids to non-smoking foster homes. Until the government sez it’s illegal, I say suck it up, people.
Why don’t people just wind themselves up in bubblewrap to protect themselves from the big bad world? Thank you, all-powerful media, for getting everyone paranoid beyond fucking reason over just about everything.
TTFN: also add that our mothers drank cocktails all through pregnancy…. just sayin’
You’re absolutely right, BR. Plus Valium, diet pills, et all.
Well OP as an exsmoker myself, I hear you.
But I personally feel its the assholes who went hog wild over banning smoking in public places who should be held to blame !
They are 100% responsible for todays problem(s)
IF
THey had backed off & claimed a win when smoking rooms were required in bars & resturants , we IMO wouldn’t be in this mess. They (the nonsmoking Nazi’s) never had a chance of completely eradicating smoking their… one true dream…but they thought by making it impossible to smoke anywhere indoors smokers would all passively go away.
The Governemt people unfortunately weren’t intelligent enough to realise that (surprise, surprise) & should have continued to allow people to go into designated places & smoke with others who also smoke.
I personally loved the smoke free bar, I could actually breath while indoors having a couple brews. Plus my friends who smoked would pop in the smoking room for a cigarette & be back in a minute or two. Now they are outside, near the door, under an overhang if its raining, in any place of shelter, becaue they are human just like you OP…& they don’t want to be out in the freezing cold , rain or snow either…but a bunch of assholes who refused to accept a bit of comprimise ruined it for everyone.
Maybe instead of bitching more of us should be complaining to our elected officials that we want designated smoking places, rooms etc brought back.
As a nonsmoker ,it makes sense to me
TTFN: I don’t think people who smoked during pregnancy before all this evidence has come out were neglectful/abusive, I just think that given the current knowledge it would be dumb to continue to smoke during pregnancy, just as it’s dumb to drink during pregnancy. You don’t have to get so worked up! There’s a chance my dad smoked around my mom when she was preggers with me (I’ve never asked but dad was a smoker during that time), and I turned out fine, but if there’s a chance that cigarette smoke can harm a fetus and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to avoid ANY possible consequences. *shrug*
Well, obviously since all the boozing and smoking baby boomers in North America and their boozed and smoked at kids are glowing pictures of health and vitality, not a single medical issue, we should push boozing and smoking on everyone else.
TTFN, you’re a fucking idiot.
I agree, PK, that no one should harm a fetus but I suspect second hand smoke is just the tip of the iceberg – think about all the shit people breath in on a regular basis, pollution, solvents, exhaust et al – I suspect this is an age thing on my part, kid – I grew up in the days when kids sucked on lead soliders and never gave a thought to something called a ‘helmet’. People didn’t think about such shit back then and were a lot tougher, perhaps because many of our parents grew up in the Depression. A lot of the younger generation (not all!) seem to be nothing but whining little victims of whatever condition the media can exaggerate or invent.
Dear Pavillion, you’re a fucking moron for dealing with absolutes. Grow up.
Anyone who feels smoking or drinking while pregnant is okay should allow their children to drink and smoke when they’re able to walk as well. What’s the difference? You should ask the government to banish the drinking age because all of your parents drank and smoked with you in the womb and you’re perfect. By the way, any of the babies that were affected in the womb by smoking and drinking probably aren’t around today to say “My mother smoked and drank with me in the womb and I turned out fine!”
That is about the stupidest argument I’ve seen yet. Take a chill pill, people, all this stress will kill you way faster than second hand smoke.
I don’t smoke, but I think that mandating that all bars, restaurants, etc. be smoke-free was a stupid idea. The government should not be telling private businesses what to do (generally speaking). With regards to smoking/drinking while pregnant, I have no doubt that some people turned out fine, but anecdotal evidence isn’t scientifically valid.
Drinking and smoking may not affect EVERY developing foetus in the same way but when is smoking and drinking EVER worth the risk to your child? Where is the maternal instinct that is supposed to protect one’s beloved child from harm? Why is it OK to offer alcohol and nicotine to a developing child inside the womb, but a crime to do so once it has emerged? The stages of development are the most crucial times in a child’s existance. Once it has arrived, the damage is already done, yet curiously this is the only time the law will protect a new life.
Decades ago, before we became educated about the risks, it was acceptable to drink and smoke during pregnancy. Thankfully education has brought common sense to a higher standard. The media didn’t invent the scientific studies that show the risks. The media presents them.
I am related to someone who’s mother drank and smoked during her pregnancy in the 70’s. Did it kill her child? No. But that child (now an adult) has lifelong disabilities who’s principle cause is prenatal drinking. But let’s pretend that foetal-alcohol syndrome doesn’t exist and continue to poison our precious children with alcohol and, while we’re at it, cigarettes, which contain some pretty deadly ingredients. Comparisons to the air we breathe? Do we have much of a choice over air quality? Smoking is a choice. Smoking during pregnancy is a poor one. Subjecting a pregnant woman to secondhand smoke, even lower.
Oceanchick, pretty kitty …Amen!!…melectric i agree…TTFN..first off how dare you chastise someone for dealing in absolutes when you all but did it yourself in this very post.
“I smoked while carrying all three kids who – GASP – actually made it to adulthood! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?????” seems to me you are basically trying to debunk science here by saying “my kids survived so it must not be true”. which is a stupid comment. Or you are saying that you smoked while prego and your kids survived so if others do it there still is a very good chance their kids will manage to turn out ok. Which is an even dumber statement. No matter how its worded or interpreted it makes you look like an idiot. You got lucky and its a shame you cant see that.
OC myself and my brother both have complications from this and i know one or two friends that have as well.
And TTFN i totally agree with you on the foster home thing..adoption …anything would be better. There are plenty of folks out there waiting to adopt that actually give a fuck about how their child might turn out. Lets take these kids away from these ignorant parents and give these potential adoptees a chance.
i will finish with an exerpt from one of my old comments on a similar bitch cuz it says it best and i got shit to do.
“these women that brag that they smoked while pregnant, that their children are apparently in perfect health etc etc blah blah…they are missing the point completely. Most people are not saying that smoking while pregnant = baby with health issues…its not that black and white …what those of us who are disturbed by that gruesome sight are saying is that by doing so you are increasing the chances that your child will have a medical issue which may be discovered early on or possibly later in life…so dont count yourselves out of the blame just yet. Why roll the dice with your children.
To use that “my children turned out fine” argument is absolutely insane and if you cant even recognize that you are an idiot. You cannot argue with science here…to believe that since your children have thus far not been diagnosed with any issues related to smoking does not mean they wont later in life…maybe tomorrow…We wont even get into growing up in a smoking household…i grew up in one and know how shitty it is…anyway…that argument i just mentioned above is just as silly as saying “well we never had child car seats and we survived so why do we need them now” or “my boy doesnt need a bike helmet..i never used one”…the point is..if you know for a fact…and you do…that smoking puts your child at greater risk of getting sick or hurt…why on earth would you continue to do it???..If you hook your kids up to a roullette and throw darts at them it doesnt make you a good parent just because you didnt hit one. Morons. “
EXACTLY… that was very well said shaker… I could not agree with you more.
OhmyGawd, you people are sooooo stressed about this. Well, sorry if I don’t swallow everything black or white like the younger generation – there are millions of greys, people – i.e. if a mother-to-be is having one cig a day, does that make her as evil as someone who smokes three packs a day? Or someone who has a half glass of wine as opposed to half a bottle of Jack? I must say that you stressed out sweeties have learned well from your media teachers in taking things to the extreme.
I think the whole point is, why risk it at all? If there are studies that show nicotine can cause health problems to unborn children, why test it out?
Anyway, that’s my last comment on this smoking bitch. No use arguing with fanatics who don’t understand that some people can be moderate about their habits even during a pregnancy. But noooooooooooooo, that occasional cigarette or drink is equivilant to stabbing the Baby Jesus through the heart with a cork screw.
TTFN makes a valid point.
So does science.
Well, my view is like this: what’s more important — the health of your baby or smoking a cigarette?
There are lots of things I do that might not be so great for a baby (drinking for example or eating artificial sweeteners), but I’m willing to put them on hold to make sure my baby is as healthy as he/she can be. I know I don’t have kids yet, but I figure it’s not too much of a sacrifice. *shrug*
I guess that’s the problem with grey areas. Sporadic prenatal drinkers and smokers are not as prevalent as those who regularly do so, so TTFN’s defense takes into account only a very small percentage of prenatal smokers and drinkers while ignoring the larger volume who are actually providing more potential for harm.
I don’t get why anyone would risk the actual development of their beloved child by offering them ciggies and alcohol in the womb.
Yet that same mother would be aghast at offering their newborn smokes and alcohol.
And a recent study says?? this is supposed to be scientific evidence? has anyone ever seen a death certificate stating cause of death as smoking?on the other hand alcohol a much more dangerous substance is never targeted in the same manner as tobacco?? why is this??
bluenosedoug: related complications are usually the cause of death with regards to smoking, just like related complications are usually the cause of AIDS related deaths.
And it’s not “death” that’s the issue with smoking during pregnancy — it’s related complications. Do a basic scientific journal search through a journal database and I’m sure you’ll find a great number of journals citing scientific evidence stating that smoking, while pregnant, can cause harm to a embryo/fetus.
Fuck. i really don’t know why people try and defend this crap — like I said: is that smoke REALLY more important than your kid’s health?
PK’s hit the nail squarely on the head! What is more important? A smoke, or your kid?
Science isn’t absolute either.
I wonder how many people who are denying the harmful effects of tobacco and alcohol also deny global climate change?
All of you “just fine” people, look at your families. No medical, mental or developmental issues? Oh?
TTFN you forgot to mention that our parents and grandparents smoked *gasp*, UNFILTERED cigarettes.
Smoking one cigarette a day or having one drink probably won’t hurt your baby, but why take the chance? Just so you can have some instant gratification? It seems to be me that not smoking and not drinking during pregnancy is the wisest choice and going around claiming that you had no problems doing so and therefore everyone should suck it up is stupid, childish, immature, and down right idiotic (I’m talking to you TTFN).
While there is a limit of what you can stop a pregnant woman from doing or not doing just to protect her own human rights there has to be a point of common sense for her to have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. A woman who is being forced to breathe in second hand smoke because a smoker refuses to get out of the bloody bus terminal (where it is illegal to smoke anyway) should have every right to breath the cleaner second-hand smoke free air.
I quit smoking the day i found out i was pregnant. The way i saw it, that was one of the small things i could control…so that if something DID go wrong, i would atleast have smoking & drinking ruled out as reasons to blame myself. I can’t control car fumes and the like of what others did around me but i’d have been damned if i couldn’t do the best i could in making my pregnancy the healthiest i possibly could. And it had nothing to do with any media scare tactics; i call it erring on the side of caution.
Pav you mean that clean air full of gas and diesel fumes? Oh and BTW I hope you rant about them drinking coffee and other things that contain nicotine. And while you’re at it, bitch at them for eating at fast food places. Of course the most dangerous thing they’re going to do is cross the street.
I had to chuckle a bit at kitty a while back there….
“There’s a chance my dad smoked around my mom when she was preggers with me (I’ve never asked but dad was a smoker during that time), and I turned out fine
saying she turned out fine.”
kitty, if you’ve had even half the health problems you’ve posted, I’d say you’re a fair spot away from ‘fine’. Health-wise, I’d say you’ve had quite a go of ‘er.
Oh shit.
Well, more evidence to show that smoking is a no no around a preggo 🙂
I kind of meant cognatively though. I’m a pretty sharp cookie despite the diabetes and the busted metabolic system!
Any “heavy smokers” on this bitch?
“heavy smokers?” you one?
you’re still kickin’ so that’s good…
🙂