To Hal Johnson and Joanne McLeod:
Stop it. Just fucking stop it. You two have been clogging up the airwaves with your creepy fitness coupledom for far too long. Your annoyingly cheery faces have been leering out at me from my television since I was a child, and enough is enough. Your stupid 80s theme music makes me cringe whenever I hear it, it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard.
We get it. You love fitness and each other and you just want to share it with the world. Unfortunately, your grating TV personas make me want to beat you to death with a tennis racket. Go cycle off into the sunset and quit offering us your ridiculously inane health tips. I somehow manage to enjoy a healthy lifestyle without being as disgustingly self-satisfied as you two morons, so why don’t try to you take it down a notch or two? I mean seriously, has anyone ever jumped off their couch and bought some rollerblades because Hal and Joanne told them it was a good idea?
The worst part about your obnoxious “fitness interludes”, aside from the cheesy music and idiotic enthusiasm, is that they are actually funded in part by our government. Taxpayers’ money is actually paying your salaries!!! Without a doubt, you are entirely loathsome people who must be stopped.
Also, I didn’t think it possible for someone to look like more like a pedophile WITHOUT a mustache, but Hal, you’ve accomplished it. Congratulations.
In closing, I would just like to say that no two people have managed to nauseate me as consistently and enduringly as you assholes have. I hate you both and hope you choke on a whole grain bagel.
—Yours in deepest malevolence
This article appears in Apr 23-29, 2009.
I can’t believe this!!
Why don’t you just stop watching them? Is somebody holding a gun to your head????
Given the number of fatties out there nowadays I’d say taxpayers should pay for more Hal’s and Joanne’s until we get so nauseated we turn off the TV and go for a run, or just run to the can and purge our lunch. Either way, we end up a little skinnier.
I was kind of surprised to find out they’re still doing their thing after all these years (I went for a long period with no TV).
It’s rather strange that in the 80s these two twits weren’t allowed to let on they were a couple because of the antiquated attitudes that prevailed towards mixed race unions at the time.
Those fuck faces are forever making me expend my precious energy trying to find the converter to change the channel. I am trying to conserve that energy for fridge visits and washroom breaks. I hate them too.
Damn it Miles… you beat me to the punch.
OP, Perhaps you shouldn’t be watching that much tv… and should be getting fit and having fun.
He doesn’t have a ‘stache anymore?
Did you ever think, OP, that you’ve managed a healthy lifestyle BECAUSE of what you’ve seen on Body Break? You say you grew up with them… maybe they’ve had more influence than you care to admit.
No way. I got so excited when I saw them on T.V. again, and now they’re doing endorsements (!). Seriously, I’ve _never_ considered buying product based solely on the endorsement until I saw they made a bodybreak vitamin! I almost ran to the grocery store.
Hahaha, this was a hilarious rant. Too funny, hehe
i thought they were divorced
Is it just me, or do they seem to not age. They’re kinda creepy in that way.
That said, remember boys and girls, don’t put it in your mouth.
Love that one PDG.
To me, I love the Body Break commercials. They rank right up there in the Canadiana commercial category with the Heritage Commercials, Ducks Unlimited, and Hinterland Who’s Who.
PDG, it’s you… you’ve aged right along with them so you don’t notice. Pull out the archives and you’ll be seeing exactly how they’ve aged.
Whos Who are the best!
And why arent there messages from concerned chilrens advertisers anymore?
I still see the Concerned Childrens Advertisers ones (you gotta balance food and activity…). Maybe I watch too many cartoons.
I also miss the “School House Rocks!” ones.
Is Canada a town or a village? That is the question…
Did anyone else find the whole dont put it in your mouth take on a whole new meaning when you go a little older?…
I did LoGiC, a whole new meaning.
In defense, those twits are annoying and a waste of money. Their tips are never that good. I say if we have to spend the money why not replace them with people who are more knowledgable and inspired. Or invest in progroms that encourage fitness in kids, it’s a lot easier to be fit when you’re older if you develope these healthy habits young.
Maybe they should make a Body Break Wii Fit game.
I would be more likely to exercise if they were not the ones telling me to do it. They annoy me too.
I would be more likely to exercise if they were not the ones telling me to do it. They annoy me too.
Chuck Norris doesn’t do Body Break…
he breaks bodies.
lol zZz – that’s the most original Chuck Norris joke I’ve heard in ages.
Leave Bodybreak alone, it is a Canadian treasure and shame on you for not thinking so!!
Go to fat ass America if you don’t like it.