To find an establishment that serves to please the kindness of patrons but for the simple respect of customer service and etiquette leaves but a simple taste of genuine satisfaction. Sadly this was not the flavor of the evening we had. Upon south end’s apparent delicacy of aged delicatessen we have found a ripely senior establishment. As service would go, the absence of credibility lies with those that would follow like sheep in a large heard in a production chain restaurant. The lack of distinguishable establishment merited a rude awakening among the silent dissatisfied patrons. Despite being in close proximity to some foul elixir and plenty of waiters, the glass was never refilled at all. Finally the last admittance was the lack of acknowledgment that there was ever an error from the senior staff. —Displeased
This article appears in Oct 27 – Nov 2, 2011.
Perhaps you’re a writer in your spare time, perhaps you fancy yourself quite the wordsmith. But are you ever met with looks of puzzlement when talking to people? Maybe requests for clarification on written notes?
You need to learn how to edit; big words don’t always make you sound smart.
That first sentence alone….sheesh!
It’s HERD not HEARD – perhaps you should’ve completed the English as a second language course?
1. What is a ‘ripely senior establishment’?
2. *herd
Painful
Xen – ripely senior establishment is PC talk for undertakers?
It is a great skill that many lack, to be able to get a point across in as few words as possible. Give it a try.
Indubitably, indubitably. MontrealMan?
A Failed restaurant critic?
By Yoda, written, this is.
Perhaps English isn’t the OB’s first language?
The only “Deli” that I frequent is Brothers, I know that the OB isn’t bitching about them.
Holy fuck that was painful, I gave up 1/2 way through.
kings journalism student or montrealman….. either way you are a pedantic grandiose motherfucker. learn to speak english right good like the rest of us!
😉
what?
Shotwhointhewhatnow?!?
Thou was displeased with the wares of this establishment…woe is thy ..woe is thy..perchance another day for thy to sate ones hunger ….:)
What a selfish woman! Her kid is barely breathing and she goes and ditches her kid on a babysitter so she can go out and eat and drink. She deserves more than eggs, she deserves a visit from child protection services.
Wrong bitch, Seb.
Mmmmm, I do love a drop of Peculiar; better yet a bucket of it!
*Snip*
“…Sadly this was not the flavour of the evening we had. Upon south end’s apparent delicacy of aged delicatessen we have found a ripely senior establishment…”
Sooo, you found an old pub in the south end; and it IS a pub with nothing Deli about it…not even a smoked meat sandwich on the menu.
“…As service would go, the absence of credibility lies with those that would follow like sheep in a large heard in a production chain restaurant…”
So people that go to a “name brand” restaurant are un-credible sheep? Go fuck yourself.
“…Despite being in close proximity to some foul elixir and plenty of waiters, the glass was never refilled at all…”
If the elixir was so foul why then would you want your glass to be refilled, OB? The staff there are pretty easy going, maybe a bit too easy going sometimes but they are not at all adverse to a friendly nod and a beckon for “…another pint please…” and usually promptly bring it over to you.
OB, if you walked in the joint and treated/addressed the staff with the same self serving double talk bullshit that you wrote above then no wonder you were ignored. …and as far as double talk goes don’t make me get all DeadWood on your ass. “…Swidgen; COCKSUCKER!…”
Now kindly leave the this pub to folks that will enjoy and respect it; and FUCK OFF back to Kings like K.B.A. told you to do!
Gotta be a Kings student, before I stopped going to this place I noticed a plethora of Kings types filling the place on the nights I would go.
Glad to hear even pretentious Kings students are getting the bums rush.
aha, thanks cranky, i understand
I’m still lost. (Sorry, CFA with agoraphobia here, :P) where is this place?
Ah ok. Thanks Cranky. I initially thought it was this place but wasn’t sure. (Drop of Peculiar was a bit of a giveaway I guess) I love that pub. Great spot. Nice and cozy. I used to go there on the occasional Saturday night and sit in on the traditional Irish music session in the corner, when I could keep up, that is. Some brilliant music and fantastic atmosphere. I haven’t been in awhile so I don’t know if they are still playing there anymore.
good luck finding one o.p., be sure to let us all know. via a bitch, when service turns out, to be less than you expected.
Pay? I thought it was just an impromptu session. The only “payment” that I was made aware of was free/discounted munchies and pints. It’s the same at the Triangle. I used to play there on Sunday afternoons too, (again, haven’t been in awhile), but I know they are still there.
I’m unsure of the details, but there was an issue regarding compensation for services provided.
Poorly written. Can’t read.
“Gotta be a King’s student”
C’mon, give them more credit than that!
I know they can come off as pretentious but at least their writing is easy to understand.
Kind of felt like I was decoding sudoku while reading:)
This must have been Google translated from another language. It made my brain hurt.
Nope – can’t be King’s… I believe they learn to write properly there. This is the product of an idiot with a thesaurus and the misguided belief that he/she has a handle on the english language. Their attempt to confuse you all into thinking that they are a wordsmith seems to have worked though. Unfortunately, it was actually a rambling and grammatically incorrect pile of garbage. Funny how a pure and simple idiot can still come across as pretentious.
Reminds me of a Courtney Stodden tweet, maybe a relative of hers?
DISCLAIMER!
: Furious Styles (Oct. 25, 10:16AM) & KillBrandAllready (10:32AM)
Hey, that wasn’t me! I couldn’t get the drift either. Gimme a break!
A pldasure as always.
Cheerio!
Cha. Knew it wasn’t Moman. Like a Bulwer-Lytton contest entry pretending to be him, maybe.
Freaky Xeno! Had someone in the shoppe last weekend looking for some Bulwer-Lytton.
Admiral, do you mean a book about the contest, or by the man himself? If it’s the latter, why? Isn’t one sentence enough?
By the man, himself. I believe we were a Bulwer-Lytton Free Zone at the time. I also had a pair of irritating hipster twins who took umbrage at paying $5.00 for a Penguin paperback (in immaculate condition) that sold originally for $4.00 – IN 1979!
Some people’s kids *headshake*
DISCLAIMER! (POSTSCRIPT)
: Xeno (Oct. 26, 10:25AM) – Excellent, Xeno, you knew “Displeased” wasn’t me. And Bulwer-Lytton indeed – I’m in very good company! (Don’t know about the game.)
But thinking “Displeased’s” post over, if I were teaching, um, “Creative Writing” at King’s I would hold this up as a model of BAD WRITING. Not only is it constipated, turgid and convoluted, it is PRECIOUS! This is the worst thing that can be said of any aspiring author. It occurs in those who have a modicum of facility with the written language but mistake it as an instance of the “HIGHER CRITICISM.” In other words, they let their wording and phrasing occlude the message which, after all, is the purpose of communication whether verbal or written. Thanks once again to Xeno for her perspicacity in distinguishing me from “Displeased.”
An apt analogy would be the sexually adept seducer – Casanova comes to mind – who meticulously applies all his skills to bring the female NEARLY to orgasm. But he is not interested in satisfying her, only in showcasing his erotic skills. He is being PRECIOUS, something in regard to which I stand innocent.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Moman. Perhaps you should find out what the contest is about before you go on flattering yourself…Word up.
Here’s the thing. People who try to sound intelligent and are not as intelligent as they try to sound end up sounding disorganized and windbaggy. This might explain why everybody thinks you sound disorganized and windbaggy.
We need a restaurant critic critic.
Dork.
http://roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2011/…
RSVPs
: Xeno (Oct. 26, 12:59PM) – “Word up?” Anyway, I Googled the game and discovered that San Jose State University has an annual contest to write the introductory sentence to the year’s worst novel. I found the 2009 winner excessively verbose. Mine is an oldy but goody: “The times were troubled, the people were restless, but events were moving swiftly.” What’s yours? Come on Xeno, Word Up!
: isoceles_kramer (1:27PM) – Although your comment was addressed to “Displeased” and not to me, I found it interesting. When, as you write, “People who try to sound intelligent and are not intelligent as they try to sound end up sounding disorganized and windbaggy,” how do you know that they are not, in fact, as intelligent as they try to sound? It seems to me that this requires some sort of direct and unmediated insight into the intelligence of others on your part. But the claim must be supported. Otherwise you end up sounding, well, disorganized and windbaggy. I trust you will be able to respond coherently to my request.
One other small point: Does your request for a critic of the restaurant critic open the gates to an infinite and vicious regress? What about a critic of the critic of the restaurant’s critic, and so on ad infinitum? Write back on this soon, IK.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Meh. Already used ‘just sayin’ today. Whaddya want, booyah? you got served? Vindicated?
Although I can’t claim authorship, this has always been a favorite of mine: “As a scientist, Throckmorton knew if he broke wind in the echo chamber, he’d never hear the end of it.”
clever girl, i pick booyah
Riding the waves of the information highway, I came to that place where the land meets the sea. Upon settling there, I went in search of that place where the female dogs reside. What I found was stories of angst, of plight, of anger, more gravity than levity.
However, one story in fact found me. It was a story of a ripely senior establishment replete with foul elixirs, aged delicatessans and silent dissatisified patrons. A misused homonym brought to mind the audible more so than a pack of bovines.
I could not imagine where this story was taking me. Have I been there already? One cranky individual said he knew where this place was. “Double H’s” said he. Avast, another said the title said it all. But it meant nothing to me. And so it was.
RSVPs
: Xenophilia (Oct. 26, 5:53PM) – Who booyah? How was he vindicated?
Regarding your favourite opening sentence, the one about Throckmorton and the echo chamber, could this be interpreted as the scientific or real-world counterpart to the philosophical “infinite regress” I pointed out to isoceles_kramer (who, by the way, has yet to respond to my requests)?
The problem, of course, is that your opening sentence does not provide for that range of possibilities required to maintain plot tension and, by extension, reader interest. In my view it is overly restrictive. Yes, his farting might go on and on but is this something that will draw the reader into the story? Of course, Xeno, farting might be something in which you have a keen interest but for the majority, I rather doubt it.
: troondon4 (10:14PM) – Strong notes of Hemmingway there, Troon. Keep at it.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
And as the sun rises slowly in the East, we bid good morn to the felicitous peninsula shaped like a crustacean’s appendage and ask ourselves why the self proclaimed man of la Montreal continues to proclaim his superiority despite repeated figurative smack downs by his more learned peers.
ah Montreal….
also known as Canada’s butthole.
saying he’s superior is like saying…
http://meanwhile.files.wordpress.com/2007/…
RSVPs
: Xenophilia (Oct. 27, 9:59AM) – Sorry for the delay in getting back but I just finished another brilliant letter to The Gazette. Philosophy, you know. Critical thinking and all that. If it’s printed it will be the third this month. Can you imagine?
Xeno, a “crustacian’s appendage?” None of your usual off-colour remarks on this site, if you don’t mind. Of course, Xeno, there’s no need to ask yourself why Montrealman continues to proclaim his superiority. Isn’t it, um, obvious? My “learned peers?” Surely you jest.
: Triple Z (11:18AM) – Oh dear, another cereal link. Another brilliant take-off on my “Cheerio” farewell. You’ve got to do better next time, Triple Z, but given your obvious limitations it’s difficult to say just how.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!