Some days I think I’m the luckiest girl in the world. I woke up this morning with a small tabby cat sleeping beside my head, my face pressed into an exotically beautiful woman’s breasts and a man cradling my body in his arms. Our party clothes lay intermingled in scattered piles on the floor. Carlos got up first to let out the cat and we teased him about his morning wood as he walked back to bed. Soon our laughter turned to kisses, leading into yet another marathon mattress romp. Afterward, we felt energized and ready to start the day (with the exception of the cat, who was kept up all night). We drank strong, dark coffees and read the news in a three-person bubble bath. Then we whisked up some coconut French toast, got dressed and headed to the Oxford Theatre to catch a Sunday matinee.
Carlos and Judy share a sunny flat in the Hydrostone. Their home is a safe haven for me, whether I am stumbling into bed with them drunk after Gus’ Pub, have an empty stomach, need a good chat or a place to regroup after a sour love affair.
My life wasn’t always this idyllic. I’ve put up with my fair share of schmucks, suffered through dinners with the intolerable parents of my partners and endured long-distance relationships. My menage a trois with Carlos and Judy is simpler. I’m free to see other people. I don’t have to attend awkward family dinners. I can always count on one of them to be my date. Plus, I know they’ll entertain each other when I feel like taking time to myself.
I’d be lying if I said things were totally perfect. I frequently get the stink eye from other girls when I’m out with Carlos. They aren’t aware of how open his relationship is with Judy and assumes he’s cheating on her. We don’t feel comfortable sharing the truth about our sex lives with our families, which makes for awkwardness when relatives show up unexpectedly and we’re all in bed.
People just don’t understand how such an un-kosher relationship is functional. Many are turned on by the idea of threesomes, but few dare to incorporate them into their everyday lives. It’s sad really, because I think Halifax would be a much happier city if everyone had their own Carlos and Judy.
This article appears in Feb 11-17, 2010.
Moderation they say. A balancing act. By nature not everyone can (or will) do it.
Sometimes too much emphasis on love, feelings, relationships. Figuring ’em out, over thinking, trying to find happiness. Should be in the here and now.
Sometimes caught in the realm of the here and now, purely physical, purely emotionally, content, but should be seeking more.
You can’t win. All of the time. Some of the time. Any of the time. But you try.
I’ve been there, I was the Judy of the relationship. It really is a beautiful thing once you get past the insecurities. Very happy to hear I’m not the only one in Nova Scotia.
Eventually you will want your own man and Judy will become sick of sharing…unless you all are polygamists…I’m just saying.
Hi, I think this is awesome and I agree with you. I think that it shows confidence to share your loved ones in sex, and sex is just a (very fun) activity. The more diverse you can get it the better! kudos.
A three person bathtub within staggering distance of Gus’? I call bullshit.
I feel that you guys have it “the right way”. Great friends who are true friends can be great lovers without the griefs that come with relationships. I mean friends fight and argue so do lovers. The fact that the 3rd party knows when to back off it’s great. I wish I was in this situation.
The hard part (other than compatibility) is finding a third without resorting to, ugh, personals or without grossing out friends who you might want to invite.
A breath full of serentity. Hope abounds when there is enough trust in the world to do this without fear, without jealousy, no rival, no trauma. Freedom essentially – the awesome wonder of freedom.
Who does the dishes?
Bullshit. This reads like those sexy letters at the back of the red-top dailies here in the UK. The editors make ’em up, of course they do.
This is just what me and my fiance are looking for now. But as “cranky” posted, we are considering putting an ad in the personals cause we just don’t know how else to do it. It’s really hard and sometimes I feel like we are doing something wrong. Society has tried hard to brainwash me, but I’m still holding on and believing that something like this can work without any regret. If the person who wrote this is reading, maybe you can let me in on some secrets…
And I thought this town was hopeless in terms of liberation and exploration. Kindness and mutual respect go a long way. In this day and time, how could anyone judge what works for one ( and mayhap not the other ) when it comes to one’s own sexual health ( broadstroke ) and personal needs? If Carlos, Judy and the other person are all happy w/ said arrangement, have established their groundrules and everyone is satisfied with the arrangement, who is anyone to judge? Bully for you I say, and do you have a twin?
p.s., protect thyselves and have fun and honest with one another!
Threesomes are cool. Getting it on with chicks is an interesting change of pace.
To mediaspank….. although it may read like some tabloid headline, this kind of thing really does work for some. I know my hubby and I enjoy the company of another lady 🙂