Savage Love

Q I want to buy my 14-year-old niece a dildo, some lube and an age-appropriate book about sex. (Can you recommend one?) I have her mother’s permission, but I wanted to double-check on whether there are legal issues I should be concerned about. (I live in Oregon.) Do you think it would be inappropriate for […]

Q I have been in a long-term relationship with a wonderful woman who doesn’t have a lot of people she socializes with in her daily life. She is a Burning Man person and converses online with other “burners.” I confronted her when I realized she was discussing the ups and downs of our relationship in […]

Q Not sure that even you can help with this one, but I’ll give it a shot… My husband and I enjoy a solid, trusting BDSM relationship, and we’re both quite happy with not only our sex lives but our lives together in general. There is one issue that concerns me. Roughly twice a month, […]

Q I am a college-age gay male. Last year, I dated two guys. The first—let’s call him Mitt—I dated for five months. He broke up with me, and it hurt as much as breakups do, but I got over it. A few months later, I dated another guy— let’s call him Paul—for a month. I really […]

Q I’ve been confused about my sexuality for two years. I am a 22-year-old female. I liked guys when I was in school, but then, in perhaps the most stereotypical of fashions, I developed a HUGE crush on Tegan and Sara when I was nearly 20. I like the idea of being with women, but […]

Q I’m 16 and I like my friend’s mom who is 35. She’s married and has two kids. But I really like her. What should I do? –Help One Really Needy Youth A Here’s what you shouldn’t do: You shouldn’t say anything—not to your friend, not to your friend’s mother—and you certainly shouldn’t try anything. […]

Q I have a question regarding pornography usage and browser histories. As a matter of courtesy to my wife (and anyone else who may use our devices), I always clear the browser history on whatever device (computer/iPad) I may have used to view pornography. I have always just assumed that she doesn’t want to see […]

Q I am a hetero female, but one of my biggest fantasies is for a guy to dress up in women’s underwear. Not full-blown drag, just a teddy, fishnets and some heels. He doesn’t even have to act like a woman. I just want him to parade around a bit, and just for me. I’ve […]

Q I am desperately in need of your help. After eight years of marriage, it turns out that the blowjobs I give are “good but not great” and are now getting “boring.” My husband is unable to tell me anything specific that he wants me to do, just that I should do something different and […]

Q I’m a smart, professional woman in my mid-30s who dates the same. I also happen to use a wheelchair; I was diagnosed shortly after my first birthday with a motor neuron disease. I have about as much physical strength as a quadriplegic but I have full sensation. I am careful about who I date […]

Q I’m a straight guy and I’m really into having my balls sucked—it’s one of my favourite things and just thinking about it turns me on. But whenever I’ve had my balls sucked, it hurts, and ball pain is not a kink of mine! It hurts enough to override any pleasure, and I have to […]

Q My younger brother and I are close. He came out of the closet last year, although it wasn’t much of a surprise because everyone knew he was gay since forever. Everyone is happy he’s out because it kind of takes the elephant out of the room, and our immediate and extended family are all […]